Search results matching tag 'relationships'

Re: Angry husband refuses to forgive me...

Prathi — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:31:48 GMT

Dear ScientistGeorge and other EFT'ians,

I am quite blown away by Ros' situation. She is lucky that her husband stuck around her inspite of all the issues.Unfortunately, I have somewhat similar issues but my husband has neither forgiven and also has applied for divorce. I believe in my heart of hearts that we can make the marriage work. And whatever I am trying to do to make it work is completely from my side, like many have commented here. Ros' case has given a new hope to me. When I saw your words for tapping I liked them. I am new to EFT in a way & see it as my last hope. I am working on various emotional & physical issues this situation has brought about

My questions are:

1. Do we use your tapping words only on the KC point?

2. What words are to be used while tapping on the rest of the points?

3. I also would like to have some guidance on how to go about surrogate tapping.

4. I have blurred vision due to the stress caused by the situation and on top of it, I have uterine fibroids which fortunately are not causing any problem to me. I didn't even know they were there till they were discovered during a off-hand check-up and one of them is nearly 10cm big. Even now I don't have any indication of their presence.

5. There was a miscarriage as well which in itself was a very painful experience for me. I just love kids. I am unable to let go of my baby's memory. Too emotional.

6. How to do tapping to forgive myself & others? I know that I need to forgive all those who have hurt me immensely. But sometimes I can, sometimes I I just cannot. It tears me apart to forgive them for all the injustice they have done to me.

I am grateful for your guidance and support.

Thanks for listening.

God bless u.

Re: EFT for dating and relationships

successfuleft — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 20:33:45 GMT

Hi Erika,

Thanks so much for reaching out and speaking up. I think this use of EFT is growing and I'm very excited about this. I was actually introduced to EFT during a painful divorce - at the time it felt like I couldn't imagine ever being in a happy relationship again.

Like you, there have been huge shifts in my life thanks to EFT and other spiritual tools. One of them is that I am now in a deeply loving relationship with a wonderful woman. This past weekend, we just had a "Life is Good" party. Big changes!

My primary niche is using EFT for success and money issues. Recently however, several clients have started popping up wanting to work on relationship issues. It's been such a joy to say, with it feeling true in every cell in my body, that "I love helping clients create juicy and loving relationships". Couldn't have imagined doing this work a few short years ago. EFT for relationships is awesome and I hope others will 1) give it a try and 2) start talking about this important use of EFT more.

Thanks Erika,

Paul

EFT for dating and relationships

erikaawakening — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 01:46:39 GMT

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum, though not at all new to EFT and Gary Craig. I have devoted myself to applying EFT to everything, but especially to dating and relationships. I felt surprised to see that there was no category on the forum for "Relationships," so I'm posting here in general. If anyone knows of a better place to post, please let me know.

What I do know is that a few years ago I was a dating disaster, and now through the use of EFT and other spiritual methods, I have more men in my life than I know what to do with ... a "good" problem to have lol.

So I'm wondering if there are others here who have dating and relationship issues that they'd like to talk about and apply EFT to.

Cheers,

Erika

Problem in the relationships

Lulu — Sun, 03 May 2009 08:34:58 GMT

Hello,

I know about the EFT for some time and had tried it now and then. In some instances I had immediate result, but somehow I lack the persistance or I do get lost in what issues I should focus on. Sometimes I also have problems with sensing the grade of the feeling or the difference that EFT does.

I was thinking that maybe with me the problem is really the psychological reversal in some of the areas, especially with the relationships/partnerships. I have this strong wish to have a successful and fulfilling partnership relation with a man but it seems that I do not find the right one as I always pick up (or they pick me up) men who either are in other relationship or are not willing/able to enter the relationship for some other reasons.

I have feeling that maybe subconsciously I do not want to "betray" my father and also that I built up the image of me as "unattractive, etc." woman that does not deserve a happy long lasting relationship.

I have also quite well developed feeling of guilt, maybe even shame, as well as I am facing quite strong anxiety attacks.

I am frustrated as I just have feeling that I just lost the connection whith who I am and am doing thigs that I have to do not the things that I feel to do. I would like to clear up this mess and any suggestion on how to do it would be very much appreciated.

Best regards to all

Lulu

Re: Angry husband refuses to forgive me...

Ros — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 11:51:34 GMT

I just wanted to post an update, particularly to thank of all of you who helped me in my darkest hour!

Everything has resolved, and the miracles that I tapped for have come to pass.

My husband has recovered his health, after nearly five years of chronic (and debilitating) illness. He has also recovered his sense of humour, his patience, his forgiveness, and his love for his wife!

We have been slowly putting our relationship back together over the last few months and are now re-finding the closeness and intimacy - and mutual support - that we had at the beginning; only with the added wisdom that comes from riding out a very tough time.

Yesterday I realised how far we had come when we had a disagreement that didn't turn into a huge row, but stayed good-humoured and reasonable. My husband is regaining his physical fitness and looking for work. He is also being immensely supportive of me and the work I am doing... which now includes EFT.

So thank you, everyone, for all your helpful advice. I am still tapping on my own issues daily and have just undertaken my practitioner training (AAMET Level 2). I've been working with friends and family and having great results.

But the best result of all has been getting my husband back. God bless you all for your creative ideas, your wisdom, and your kindness.

Ros

Re: Relationship hopes and contradictory beliefs

Fabienne — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 15:23:05 GMT

Hello again,

In general, the qualities we love in others are qualities we have ourselves, but maybe, our experiences have shaded them. Each quality has a spectrum from a perceived negative to positive. Somewhere along the line we have decided that it was not acceptable to, for example, be generous or outgoing, so we need to recognize where we learnt that we could not be this or that, it might be that we heard as children that "generosity starts at home or with number one!", or maybe, being outgoing got you in trouble, a specific event landed you with beleiving that you would not behave that way again...

In the case of neediness, you might have been the clever one and your sibling might have been more needy than you, so you were always after being seen, acknowledged...and this carries on in adulthood, the way you feel loved is through being needy...

In a relationship, the patterns can reproduce, and the "other" might be totally unaware of how you interprete his/her behaviour. Both parties need to be aware of each other's triggers...as the pain from the past, will awake. (Eckhart Tolle calls it the "pain body"!)

Both parties can do EFT on their own emotions and past experiences, clear their shadows, so they can be present to each other. It is about our personal perceptions and emotions.

After writing this, I am not sure if I have answered your question, maybe this is better:I think Pat Carrington has an EFT sequence going like: Even though I feel needy and I dislike this feeling, I choose to feel really secure like...my sister? or so and so... (or you choose a moment in your life when you felt really secure, you picture all the felt senses of that moment and you give it a name, like: I choose to feel really secure like when Mum and Dad came with me to see the results of my exams which I passed...)

Hope this helps,

Fabienne

Re: Relationship hopes and contradictory beliefs

Fabienne — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 11:50:19 GMT

Welcome dianek!

That sounds ideal..That's where EFT comes in to work on individual issues, which can be neediness and all kinds of other triggers which can come in the way especially in subsequent relationships...It is a vast subject...

Re: Relationship hopes and contradictory beliefs

Fabienne — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 07:56:26 GMT

Hello,

The previous suggestions are excellent. Just another thought, about boundaries, how easily do you find saying what you want or what you don't want?

By the way, I love solitude and I would love a relationship too..You are not alone...

Fabienne

Re: Relationship hopes and contradictory beliefs

successfuleft — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 13:15:47 GMT

Hi there,

I appreciate your post and Marian's suggestions. I share her sense that perhaps there is an either/or in your thinking that might not be serving you well. I have a different way of how I'd suggest going about working with your situation.

EFT is known as an energy psychology technique. Energetically what's happening in your situation is that two important parts of you are aimed at each other and are creating turbulence for you. Think for a moment of two fires trucks each with a powerful hose turned on. When these two powerful streams are aimed at each other, the point where they meet is a place of high turbulence. This is the current relationship you are experiencing between the part that wants another relationship and the part that highly values your solitude. There is little intensity about either part because they are both strong and natural parts of your system.

The turbulence comes from the relationship between the parts. This is where I would focus. To do so, I'd use an EFT technique called "parts work". Here's some suggested setup phrases:

Even though one part of me wants to be in another relationship and another part of me highly values my solitude and these two parts seem to be in conflict right now, ..
Even though in the past there has been conflict between the part of me that wants relationship and the part that wants solitude, ...
Even though this conflict between these different parts of me probably had something to do with my relationship struggles in the past, I'm curious if I can find another way for these parts to relate.
Even though I haven't known how to have a harmonious relationship with these different parts in the past and that has been painful for me and my previous partners, I am open to learning how to have a more harmonious relationship in the future.
Even though I'd like to have a more harmonious relationship between these parts but am not quite sure how to do that, ..

You can choose to learn a different kind of relationship between these parts without having to turn off or tone down the flow of either. That's like taking the two fire hoses and spraying them in the same direction. Same amount of energy in the system, but very different results.

Hope this is helpful.

Paul

Re: stuck energy in relationship

Fabienne — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 11:46:07 GMT

Hello AnaHelia,

I did not realise this was not for you...it does not matter...

I scanned the article you mentioned and it is very interesting, it mostly deals with people who do internet dating and the temptation to keep looking on the screen for what you may be missing which takes away the focus on real relationships...

I have done surrogate tapping for various aspects, in fact, I have helped one of my closest friends to get over their respective hurt feelings recently.

I tapped as they confided in me, just listened, as they wanted to be heard., within a few days, LOVE was back on...I have no ideas if I was instrumental to their reconciliation but I am sure I helped. I was emotionally involved as they are my friends, but I got myself (my feelings and judgements) out of the way. Be present to your friend.

Greetings,

Fabienne