Search results matching tag 'caregiving'

Re: Helping my husband with ADHD as a surrogate with permission

Sylvia S Ross — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 13:41:52 GMT

Hi Rosemarie

It is usually helpful, to start with tapping on your feelings and frustrations about a problem,

so let's start there.

"Even though, my husband has severe ADHD, I love, accept and forgive him and myself!"

"Even though, his condition is causing much tension in the household, I love, accept and forgive

both of us!"

"Even though, I am committed to make our relationship work, this problem makes me feel

__________________, ____________________, ____________________ & ____________________, I

love, accept & forgive..........................! (list out all feelings)"

Maybe.........................."Even though, I can't stand the mess, he makes!" :~)

Try tapping on a stuffed animal, there isn't a concrete rule about this, that I know of, but, my gut says

this might be helpful!

What kind of projects are started and not finished? Does he have a "space" of his own?

There are specific foods that influence ADD/ADHD. Sugar, wheat products, gluten are on the list. Sugar

seems to add the H to ADD.

In my research for ADD/ADHD I found a couple of explainations/examples/stories. One was a list of

positives about ADD or multi-tasking if I can find it, I will post. The other one was (child example), they work better

with a multiple list of tasks, than just a single request. Again, I will look for the file!

But, as a multi-tasking :~) person, years ago, I would pick one single project to complete, and got much

less done in a week, than if I was working on four or five.

There are others that have replied that are experts in the ADD/ADHD field maybe they can expand on this!

Blessings,

Sylvia

Re: ongoing situations ~ an update

Sylvia S Ross — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 22:07:20 GMT

Goodmorning Fingertapper!

Thank you for sharing, your positive results and PR Statement with your choice statement "I choose to leave things in God's hands and trust this will all work out!"

Thank you also for sharing all your heartfelt feelings that have to be common to many in your position at one point or another. I worked out some PR Statements if you would like to use them and also to add to the original list started.

Our love and prayers go out to you & your husband.

Blessings,

Sylvia

1. "Even though, I have this tremendous fear of life without my loved one & it is almost a panic state, I ....................................................... & I choose to leave things in God's hands and trust this will all work out."

2. "Even though, there is also part of me looking forward to the ending, too, I ..............................!"

3. "Even though, all these mixed feelings are so contradictory and scary to deal with on my own, I .....................

4. "Even though these feelings, are so overwhelming at times, like there is nowhere to go, no where to be, I completely.......................& choose to ...........................!"

5. "Even though, it is impossible to make plans, because of all the unknowns, and I am forced to " live in the moment", whether I want to or not, and there is a certain resistance & resentment to this and sometimes it _________________, good advice or not!"

6. "Even though, I don't exactly feel like I have to control everything, I do feel like a circus act when the clown has plates spinning on top of sticks, I completely...................... & I choose to leave things in God's hands and trust this will all work out."

7. "Even though, I have this feeling from past experience that as soon as I stop paying attention or let my guard down, everything is going to come crashing down and it will be my fault, for not doing enough, being enough, I .............................................& I choose to leave things in God's hands and trust this will all work out even though it is hard sometimes to do that."

8. "Even though, I'm beginning to grow really tired of how my/our life/lives are so defined by my ______________________ disabilities/illness, it limits and dictates everything we do and don't do, I completely..........................................!"

9. "Even though, I feel like I'm always just one crisis away from burn-out, and while it hasn't happened yet, there is this "huge" fear that it is just around the bend, I completely ............................, and choose to be glad for ____________________ and figure out the next step!"

Re: The Caregiver's Manual

Sangeeta — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 06:33:29 GMT

Hello Soobie,

I empathize with your post, as I have been through similar phases myself. I know how much effort it takes to keep working on yourself, so I applaud your strength and persistence. Sylvia and Marie's posts are so warm, useful and supportive, that I am sure not only you, but the many others who read this thread are encouraged to continue working on their challenges.

Your statement " I was responsible for becoming depressed because I was always looking at the bright side and I suppressed my negative feelings." caught my attention.

Caregivers frequently lack the strength, energy and time to allow themselves the liberty of fully experiencing and venting their own emotions. Perhaps the following set up statements would be helpful:

"Even though I have been suppressing all my negative feelings, I give myself permission to acknowledge my sadness now"

"Even though I have been too scared to accept the depth of my sadness and fears, I am safe and can cope now"

"Even though I have been pretending to be happy, it is safe to relax and permit myself real happiness."

The Choices Method may be most suitable for the above, that is 3 short-cut rounds for each set up, the first using a negative reminder phrase, the second the positive reminder phrase and the last using alternate negative and positive reminder phrases.

Baerbel Froehlin's article- "Love that about myself" in the latest newsletter is also likely to help.

I know it must look like a huge forest from your perspective, but please keep going "one tree at a time"!

Best Wishes,

Sangeeta

Re: The Caregiver's Manual

Sangeeta — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:57:09 GMT

Thank Jasmine,

As I wrote before, I welcome any links to my e-books.

Warm Regards,

Sangeeta

Re: The Caregiver's Manual

Sangeeta — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:54:22 GMT

Hello Soobie,

I do hope that my manual gives you some help.

In addition to Sylvia's very useful suggestions, here are a few more:

1. Even if the anxiety seems to go up, please keep tapping. A few more quick rounds usually start having a calming effect, even after an initial upswng in anxiety.

2. I would suggest tapping using "Even though I may have difficulty in believing that something as simple as EFT can actually make a significant improvement in my life, I choose to give EFT a fair chance anyway." After 20 years of your situation, whether consciously or unconsciously, it may be hard to believe that EFT can help in "this particular situation".

3. There are a lot of good suggestions on how to address issues without "going there" in this thread.

4. Though we are supposed to stay focused on EFT in these forums, TAT is demonstrated in the videos, so I hope it is ok to include a little bit on it. I would highly recommend a TAT using something along the lines of:

Step 1 : "Everthing that contributed to my ongoing overwhelmed and grieving state happened"

Step 2 : "All this happened, but it's over now. I am ok and can relax now"

In my experience, TAT and EFT are very complementary and work beautifully together. TAT takes away a lot of the "impact" and EFT clears away remaining, associated or new issues that emerge. This combination is particularly useful in cases involving a specific incident(the accident) and/or grief.

As Sylvia said, do give us feedback. I am sure you will receive a lot of support and suggestions from this caring forum.

Sincere Best Wishes!

Sangeeta

Re: Thanks from me too!

Sylvia S Ross — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 22:13:35 GMT

Hi Carolyn,

You asked or questioned whether anything could be done for your husband's dementia? I searched out some articles to give you some ideas. Also, about surrogating. I have included some connections that may be helpful. EFT has helped so many people, so many ways, the suggestion is to try it on everything and be open to possibilities.

The full article I posted is on the importance of caring for yourself as a caregiver, fitting for group as a whole, also. Applying EFT to your day and each challange, would be very helpful, either first in morning and/or right before you go to bed.

Loving blessings,

Sylvia

http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/dementia.htm

http://www.emofree.com/articles/surrogate-grandmother.htm

http://www.emofree.com/faq/surrogate.htm

http://www.emofree.com/Research/minerals-amino-vitamins.htm

Neck pain relief after finding the emotional core issues.

Hi Everyone,

In recent correspondence with Catherine O'Driscoll, my friend from Scotland, she sent me this important EFT experience. It is one of those cases where conventional healing practitioners had difficulty even labeling the problem. Relieving it, of course, was considered impossible. This is not just an "EFT does it again" story. It goes beyond that by illustrating the following fine points in the "art of delivery."

1. How clients can fool themselves about what the problem really is.

2. How following your instincts (intuition) can often get to the heart of the matter.

3. How hitting the emotional bulls eye (core issues) can provide substantial relief for a severe physical issue--after all else has failed.

Catherine also provides excellent languaging in her eventual SetUp phrasing wherein she let the process roll out of her intuitively. This is a fascinating process that is illustrated in detail in our videotape set known as "Steps toward becoming The Ultimate Therapist."

Gratitude to Catherine and....

Hugs to all, Gary

P.S. Here is a definition of Psychotherapy from over 50 years ago that you might find interesting.

"Psychotherapy is an undefined technique applied to unspecified cases with unpredictable results. For this technique, rigorous training is required." Raimy (1950)

by Catherine O'Driscoll

Hi Gary,

Glen is a true gentleman who came to me with his head hanging forward, in absolute pain. He has been wearing a neck collar for three months now. His doctor referred him to a specialist and the specialist referred him to another specialist. A physiotherapist was involved. Eventually, Glen took himself to a chiropractor.

No-one was sure what was wrong with Glen. CAT scans were next. They hadn't seen anything like this before. The chiropractor said the closest description of his condition was a thing called 'drop neck' which horses suffer. The physiotherapist had been looking in all her medical books. She thought it might be a condition called Dystonia.

Dystonia is an incurable neurological condition. The specialist was talking about an operation - an operation that is chancy at best. It could go horribly wrong.

Glen was terrified that he might have to stop working. He had no idea how he would pay his bills if this condition couldn't be cured. He was terrified that he would never get better.

We tapped on this: "Even though I might never get better . . ." "Even though I might not be able to work..."

Throughout the hour-long consultation, we measured Glen's neck pain on a 0-10 scale. It stayed up there at 10 throughout.

Now, I knew darned well that Glen didn't have an incurable condition. To me, he was suffering from stress. I knew this because Glen is my brother-in-law, and I've watched him cope with tremendous obstacles over the last few years. At last I had him in my treatment room - he lives in England and I live in Scotland, so I was determined to help Glen recover while he was here.

Here are just some of the obvious stress issues involved.

1. Glen and his wife (my sister) Leslie are great animal lovers. To them, their dogs are their children. Three of their dogs died last year, and their grief was huge.

2. Our father has been suffering from dementia for the last three years, too. He's been living in a home and my sisters and their husbands have been visiting him every day, staying for hours and coping with a man who they remember as someone very special, but who was now throwing furniture at them, and raving, or crying, or singing, or pacing up and down. They've been going through terrible emotional turmoil, watching my father suffer.

3. Leslie and Glen have also been coping with Glen's mother who also has dementia, and her sister who has had several strokes. Glen and Les had to fly to Ireland and attend to their affairs, selling the family home and auctioning off their possessions to pay for nursing care. Glen has been travelling to and from Ireland every two months to attend to his mother and aunt's needs. This means that Glen has no holiday allocation left.

4. And then Leslie came down with clinical depression, leaving Glen to take the burden of it all. She's getting better now - but that's another EFT story.

So Glen and I sat in my treatment room and discussed all that has been happening. I asked Glen if he felt that life was a bit of a burden and if he sometimes resented what was happening. I asked if he felt unsupported. "No," he said. "I'm just glad that I'm there to help my mother. I'm glad that I can help Les through her depression. It's great to be there for your dad."

Now, it comes in handy sometimes to be a selfish sort of a person - someone (like me) who would moan like mad if I had all the responsibilities Glen had. It didn't make sense to me that Glen didn't mind just a little bit. He told me that he had had a fabulous childhood. He said he really felt a lot of guilt about joining the RAF and gadding about and leaving his mum alone when he was a young man. He was glad to make it up to her now.

We tapped on all sorts of things relating to Glen's neck pain. The pain itself, the fear surrounding the pain, the incurable diagnosis. The pain level stayed at 10.

And then, almost despairing, I decided to go for broke. Tapping his karate chop point, Glen repeated after me (whether he agreed or resonated with what I was asking him to say or not):

"Even though I have this incurable neck pain.... And even though I let my mum down when I was younger.... I love myself..... I'm OK.... And even though life is a tremendous burden. And life is a pain in the neck. And I can't fix everything for everyone. And I can't stop people suffering. I'm OK. I accept myself. And even though I can't cope with everything and I feel unsupported.... I matter.... And I thank my body for giving me this gift.... For telling me I have to stop and think of me too.... And even though I can't fix everything.... I'm a good boy...."

At which point, Glen burst out laughing and his neck pain lifted. We walked into the garden giggling like little children, with sparks of light flying around us.

The next day, Glen had no need of his neck collar.

He and Leslie tapped on it again last night, and Glen felt further relief. He knows now that he will be able to continue working. He knows that there's no need for a dangerous operation. He knows that his body was giving him a precious gift: the knowledge that he also has to be on his list of people who matter. Like Leslie's depression, Glen's body was saying, 'enough' - and it made him listen.

I shudder to think what would have happened to Glen had EFT not been there for him. He won't stop helping his loved-ones, but he's going to start helping himself as well.

Love Catherine

Re: Exclusion from Society

Sylvia S Ross — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:48:53 GMT

Hi Gilly!

In reference to your husband. Where is his cancer located? If you join EFT-Cancer-Support-Study-Group-submit@YahooGroups you will receive free downloads that maybe helpful. I have a Cancer Survey of Possible Emotional Problems that can induce cancer, according to research, available on my site. Cancer Survey. Originally, posted for research, it is also a guide for discovery & EFT work. In submiting form, there is a free EFT-Guideline & help for de-stressing the Cancer Diagnosis.

I work closely with both Louise Hay and Dr. Lincoln's emotional issues being the bottom line of all illnesses. Dr. Lincoln's insights are very specific and although they seem harsh if you don't have the problem, if you do have the problem, they are uncanny to internal feelings. Both, list for Emphysema - Fear of taking in life & not worthy of living. Dr. Lincoln has a further list, too personal to list here, but, because I do not have a formal report available, if you e-mail me off Forum, I will send them to you! There are over 85 reports available at my site. (If these links do not work my web address is www.naturalforcesforhealth.com and you can make the connections from there.) The reports include EFT Chart, insights and workpages to process insights - with PR Statements and room to explore all aspects that emerge.

Although, there is a formal report for Chemotherapy Reaction which covers a lot of territory and probably influences his sense of wellbeing and helplessness feeling which he brings home to you by being down and demanding, even without those, I can see the appointment as being a downer.

1. Is having no-control "Even though I feel I have no control over taking this chemo, in reality I did, it was my choice and I choose to do it well and spend my "chemo-time" being grateful for it's healing work and vision all the c-cells it is destroying!"

"Even though, I am worried about the associated damage and side-effects, that the chemo might create, I choose to release my fear and not have any of those problems!?

EFTing the chemo specifically the name has also been helpful. Just write name down on a piece of paper have him hold it in his hand, and process. Any and all side-effects can also be tapped. There is some great articles in the archives.

That's a start!

Hugs,

Sylvia

Re: Exclusion from Society

Sylvia S Ross — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 03:33:46 GMT

To Connie & Gill,

Here is an exercise from Dr. Carol Look, it is taken from her Abundance Series which is posted in the archives. I have found it to be very effective and recommend it, highly. Try it, when, you feel exhausted.

Gill, I recommend this to my EFT-Cancer-Support-Study-Group@YahooGroups.com also, so, you might engage your husband also.

EFT-CSG – DR.CAROL LOOK EXCERPT FROM ABUNDANCE SERIES Even though I feel exhausted and tired all the time, I deeply and completely love and accept myself…...Even though I have no energy, I deeply and completely love and accept who I am right now……...Even though I am tired and exhausted and feel like giving up, I choose to recognize the abundance in my life!Eyebrow: I feel so tired and exhausted.Side of Eye: I have no energy and I want to give up.Under Eye: I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.Under Nose: I wonder what emotions are making me so exhausted?Chin: I feel so tired I could cry.Collarbone: I’m tired of being tired.Under Arm: I am completely out of energy.Top of Head: I am exhausted and tired all the time.SECOND ROUND:Eyebrow: Thank you Universe for my incredibly strong body.Side of Eye: Thank You Universe for the stamina of my body.Under Eye: Thank you Universe for my vibrant health.Under Nose: Thank You Universe for allowing me to rely on my body.Chin: Thank You, Universe for all the times my body has supported me.Collarbone: Thank You, Universe, for strength and stamina in my body.Under Arm: Thank You, Universe for my overall good health.Top of Head: Thank You, Universe for all the intelligence of my body.Eyebrow: Thank you, Universe for all the energy that I DO have.Side of Eye: Thank You, Universe for the overflowing abundance in my life.Under Eye: Thank you, Universe for my incredible strength and health.Under Nose: Thank You, Universe for such a loving weekend with my family.Chin: Thank You, Universe for such a pleasurable work schedule.Collarbone: Thank You, Universe, for all the many blessings I have.Under Arm: Thank You, Universe for such a peaceful night’s sleep.Top of Head: Thank You, Universe for those sharp insights that helped me in my work today.

Bless you both!

Sylvia

Sylvia S Ross EFT-ADV

Co-Moderator

Re: Exclusion from Society

Sylvia S Ross — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 20:34:32 GMT

Hi Connie!

Thank you for sharing Mattie with us, and your concerns.

Maria (Co-Moderator of CarerForum) recommends tapping on picture of person, you are surrogating for, & I feel this would be idea in Mattie's case, of which then you can treat just like you would if you were tapping on him and address as, "Even though, you are having this breathing problem, you are a cool son/kid, and I/we completely love, accept & forgive myself/ourselves and anyone else involved and choose to breath easy!" In saying "We" you are tapping for both of you! There are a couple of reasons, one you can do it anytime & two- there were some cautions originally about tapping on people who had a history of seizures, his tendency not to like it might be a natural reaction. I have never liked tapping the top of my head, turns out it isn't recommended for people who have high blood pressure.

Wonderful kind loving tapping on his picture, solves any of the problems, you have addressed. It could even be used to address your concerns about whether you are handling this in the best way and assuring him of everyones love & understanding and all the feelings in your heart, that he is safe & will always be loved & safe in the future, no matter the path.

Have you heard of the TappyBear? As you teach Mattie the new system, maybe you will be able to teach him how to Tap the Bear for his own feelings. Many adults use it including Dr. Carrington, so, this isn't a recommendation just because he is a "LittlePeople"

I found this site in my research, if you are not aware of, it might be helpful! http://www.lpaonline.org/mc/page.do?sitePageId=37298&orgId=lpa It reminds me of a group for Down's Syndrome Families, that my oldest step-son and his family belong to in the Chicago area. The synergy of support, sharing, & love is just outstanding.

Mat's pain can be addressed with EFT, again, using the method,above with his picture. Tap for pain in general, and then maybe, pick a specific joint and tap for the pain and fusion in the joint, being specific, rubbing your hand over the joint with intention. If you can free him of pain, he possibly will move freer, which then will loosen up his joints. If you need help with PR Statements just ask, OK?

Connie, I have a hearing impairment, and recently received information on BAHA Direct Bone Conduction Implant, I am not sure if I am suitable or Mat, but here is the online connection www.Cochlear.com, they will send you information which included a DVD. It is minor surgery and usually done with a local anethesia. There is even a way to test, before it is done to see if the BAHA makes a viable difference. It has been very successful for people who are even born with atesia. I had lunch with a lady yesterday, who had an implant after having a tumor removed. She demonstrated to me how the attachment picked up the sound vibrations and I could feel them in my fingers holding it. If Mat can hear/feel music vibrations, maybe, it might be a miracle solution step. Syncronicity at work in our lives? The fact, I had lunch, had that feel and when I got home, I had your e-mail? The Implant is a titanium fixture that is placed in the skull bone behind the ear.

A PR Statement just for you, "Even though, my subconcious seems to be telling me in my dreams, I may not be handling this the best way, I completely love, accept and forgive myself." Even though, and particularily if I am not, I am not sure what the best way is, or how I will get the strength to do what ever it is, I should do, I completely love, accept and forgive myself and choose to take this one step at a time, and have faith, I will be given not only the answers but also the strength to impliment them!"

Hugs and blessings,

Sylvia

Co-Moderator Carer/Caregivers

Re: The Caregiver's Manual

Sylvia S Ross — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 14:04:51 GMT

Sangeeta,

Thank you so much for sharing, For anyone who receives their Forum messages in their e-mail, here is the connection

http://www.soulspeakindia.com/index.php?pr=Downloads

Both, the Caregiver's Manual and the Patient's Manual are excellent, well thought out, and cover a wealth of detail. Please, everyone take the time to read and save them to your files.

As, I read the Caregiver Manual, there are so many instances EFT is applicable to the scenerio, maybe, if you added PR Statements, Sangeeta, Gary would post in his newsletter and archives.

I would like your permission to post to EFT-Cancer-Support-Study-Group@YahooGroups.com in my files and to forward the information to participants who submit a Cancer Survey. Thank you again for sharing this wealth of knowledge from your experience.

Blessings,

Sylvia

Sylvia S Ross EFT-ADV

Co-Moderator ~ Carer/Caregiving Forum