Search results matching tag 'Guilt'

Re: Feeling disconnected from myself after successful EFT

judieregler@btinternet.com — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:01:02 GMT

Whow!

Well done! I have "lived" in the reverse of what you have done. I have experienced what you are saying from aged 23 to now (57!!!) All I can say is do not investigate anything anymore - just enjoy "the space you are in!"

I was surprised today to find anyone whom had suffered this DP/DR and I have also trained in EFT to Level 2 - I have posted an answer to a guy called Ted who seems to still be suffering. I am rather loathe to refer you to it because I just suggest you continue to enjoy "your new space"

What you have been suffering is Depersonalisation and/or Derealisation - and thank goodness it was only for a short while.

I do not know if my post will be accepted but you are welcome to contact me on email: judieregler@btinternet.com

Kind regards

Judie

Re: EFT for feelings of derealization and depersonalization...

judieregler@btinternet.com — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 14:49:05 GMT

Hello Ted - This is very curious - I have suffered DP/DR since about 1975 - I am now 57 - I agree it is (as I call "a living death!") I have worked with the Maudsley hospital in drug trials to no avail. I have sought many alternative therapies even Shamanic journeying and EFT and Neurolinguistic programming. I think I am a little better than I was early on but as you say it is "the anxiety" of what is happening - have I died - why can I not connect with all my friends/family, I am just an observer to life. I first got DP and then it went onto DR as well. Even looking at a sign post which was for my home town looked so unfamiliar and unreal I am sure you know.

My attempts with the medical profession have resulted in two suicide attempts (drug induced), two episodes of psychosis and 12 rounds of electric shock treatment. I know (on looking back) they were only trying to help but I now realise (sorry for the pun!) derealise! that I was merely a guinea pig.

Shamanism looks at "Soul Loss" and this is what I think DP may be? When a trauma occurs part of the soul leaves because it cannot cope with it so leaves to enable to person to survive. I have had two soul retreivals and shortly after did feel better but it did not last.

EFT - I am qualified to level 2 and I cannot understand why I have not tried it on myself - having read your site and the messages from others I will try. But I wonder if "secondary gain" maybe comes into play - I say this because the only "remedy" I have found is alcohol. I hate myself because I drink every night and make the excuse that it is because I have had such a "shitty day" 'PRETENDING TO EVERYONE THAT I AM FINE AND ENJOYING EVERYTHING .. BUT I GUESS YOU KNOW THAT LIE TOO- This is also very exhausting I think although now I am unable to "feel my own SELF/body and even the lack of energy - something just drives me forward - people think I am fine?

I think the worst thing is that I have owned my horse for 15 years (my husband died the year after I bought him) I obviously love him so much because he has helped me and supported me - even down to just being a reason to get up in the morning but I DO NOT FEEL this affection for him. He must know it is there and the only time I get close to "getting close" to this affection I just burst into tears!

Comment from any other EFT -ers would be appreciated here

NLP - not really any help because again the "connections" (brain wise) are not made?

My only recommendation (apart fromt he alcohol) and really when you think about it - now at my age it is quality rather than quantity of life and having to drop all the "pressures and personal constructs" society has put on us all - is

Please visit www.hearthealing.ca This will introduce you to Jill and Joe - She is an extremely talented lady and psychic beyond all psychics - she can see all the energetic bodies around a person. She sees that back in 1970's my heart was responsible for closing my body down (as in DP/DR because if it had not then I would be dead - overwork, etc. telling myself that my marriage was great (not!). Also I fell from my horse when aged 12 and was in coma (this goes back to the Shamanic training I have done) and part of the soul leaves to cope. She has written a book explaining just how the heart field is far greater than the brain and explains how to swap thinking for feeling!!! I have been fortunate to go on 3 of her workshops - I should not (that is another message in my brain from parents!) have done that because I could not afford to do it but somehow my heart has told me to go - this is how I have learned so much - if only (another rubbish two words) I could have known this 30 years ago!

So I would only encourage you to go if you can afford it - She has one in Glastonbury (which I would love to attend) but I am on benefits and cannot - If you have the funds please enrol because you will learn so much (not necessarily about DP/DR but about yourself. Also she is able to read your energies and will tell you just what she sees and Joe will tell you just what he feels - he is clairsentient and also a brilliant reflexologist. The course only attracts lovely people

I now realise that despite the many theories they are perhaps "the same" and my main problem has always been that I have tried (as I think you have done is to look back as to what "caused it!". I think the main thing is to FORGET that totally because one will never know and just like putting labels on illnesses does it matter. The way forward is to get better. There is only the NOW - past has gone and who knows we could be dead tomorrow. This is where DP/DR is so cruel because I think it does not permit one to be "in the moment" - when discussed and described to others they are unable to understand. I am the first to admit that I would have just said to someone "pull yourself together and get on with your life" had it not happened to myself.

The only upsides of DP are I think - maybe making me a more understanding person but then that is just false because (as above) I am not there to appreciate it. Memory only!!!!! Jill has picked up my "thinking powers" and that they are not good - The Heart serves you far better than the brain - please read her book - it is amazing and illuminating and try to get to the workshops - on workshop one everyone noticed how I changed during the 5 days - Jill is able to "up the energies" by linking all the participants' hearts together and on day two I went out and saw "a real tree"

I think you will appreciate what I mean?!

I will close now and hope:

a) You have recovered

b) Talking is good and it would be good to correspond - my email is judieregler@btinternet.com I live in Lincolnshire England

Best wishes

Judie

Re: Peanut & tree nut allergies eliminated with EFT

EFT guru — Sun, 17 May 2009 22:23:53 GMT

Hello ladies,
Thanks for being patient with my response. I got so many messages from all over the world, that it took me some time to sort through all of them... I never knew there were so many families struggling with peanut and tree nut allergies out there...

As you know, allergies are pretty tricky and one needs to figure out so-called Core Issue(s) triggering them... I'd advise everybody affected to consider working with an EFT Practitioner on this.

Since everybody has some different kind of emotional baggage (even newborns!), I find it hard to give general recommendation for tapping without knowing the particular person. We would probably run into tapping on overly generalized issues, and then EFT wouldn't "work".

With my toddler, I had a pretty unique combination of his assumed deafness in one ear and severe food allergies. I tapped on BOTH of us. He was the most cooperative during nursing. It seemed that he not only enjoyed being tapped on, but he would often initiate it by beginning to tap on top of his head. My biggest issue was dealing with immense guilt over verbalizing out loud my non-excitment with the pregnancy itself, "...Of course that my baby didn't want to hear THAT, and now he is deaf in his right ear..." EFT really helped with elimination of those feelings and then some!

But, here's a little SECRET:

I'm excited to announce that - due to popular demand - my e-Book with full details on this particular case is COMING UP SOON. :)

Best,
Sanja Cooklin
www.EFTguru.com

Problem in the relationships

Lulu — Sun, 03 May 2009 08:34:58 GMT

Hello,

I know about the EFT for some time and had tried it now and then. In some instances I had immediate result, but somehow I lack the persistance or I do get lost in what issues I should focus on. Sometimes I also have problems with sensing the grade of the feeling or the difference that EFT does.

I was thinking that maybe with me the problem is really the psychological reversal in some of the areas, especially with the relationships/partnerships. I have this strong wish to have a successful and fulfilling partnership relation with a man but it seems that I do not find the right one as I always pick up (or they pick me up) men who either are in other relationship or are not willing/able to enter the relationship for some other reasons.

I have feeling that maybe subconsciously I do not want to "betray" my father and also that I built up the image of me as "unattractive, etc." woman that does not deserve a happy long lasting relationship.

I have also quite well developed feeling of guilt, maybe even shame, as well as I am facing quite strong anxiety attacks.

I am frustrated as I just have feeling that I just lost the connection whith who I am and am doing thigs that I have to do not the things that I feel to do. I would like to clear up this mess and any suggestion on how to do it would be very much appreciated.

Best regards to all

Lulu

Re: Guilt

Ted Robinson — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 01:34:07 GMT

First, you don't have to suffer the rest of your life. The best way to approach this is to fully understand EFT, know all the tapping points and make sure to view all the DVDs that Gary Craig made available. Then, acknowledge exactly what you feel guilty about and write down every aspect of it you can think of on a piece of paper. Then, as you start the tapping Set-Up, use those aspects to include each one of them one by one in each SPECIFIC Set-up. It might sound like this: "Even though I feel so guilty about not being there for my mother when she needed me, I love and accept myself nonetheless." If you can't say I love and accept myself, use "I'm okay" or "I accept myself for now".

Continue on the first specific issue until its completely gone. Then start on the next issue that will usually automatically arise within you. In other words, you'll just start to feel a new aspect of your guilty feelings OR it might turn into something completely different. Its very important that you don't just run down the list you started with because how you feel comes from a different part of your mind than your list came from. Just follow your feelings and frame your next issue based upon those most recent feelings. Continue to tap on the new issue until it is gone.

Continue following each new feeling and resolving each one as they arise until you are no longer feeling negatively about yourself, your mother or anything else. At that point, you'll notice that your suffering will have dissipated considerably. Its then up to you to decide if you want to continue tapping on new issues until you start to feel downright happy with your life. Don't be surprised if that happens. In fact, its likely if you are persistent and work on specific issues one after another until they're all gone.

Good luck.

Re: Testing if EFT has worked

Fabienne — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 05:41:28 GMT

That's good. You can follow your remaining feelings, anything that comes to mind...

About the guilt over spending money on therapy for oneself, I think we all have this at one time or another, it seems such an indulgent thing to do at first. This does not have to be an ongoing expense like talk therapy. As Gill says, we all need a little help now and again, especially at first.

Your peace of mind is so important, let alone a good night sleep, Even though I feel guilty about spending so much money on myself, I can't possibly deserve it, I am not important enough, I love and accept myself (notice how you feel when you say I love and accept myself - if any thought or feeling comes up, this is material to tap on)

I also think that the fact that you are paying someone is very good, it makes you engage, take responsibility. Do take a look at the posts on choosing a therapist.

Keep us posted.

Fabienne

forgiveness

Singer — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 20:39:54 GMT

I have a client who says that nobody has done anything bad or hurtful to her in her life. But she came to see me because she feels so guilty and is unable to forgive herself for all the terrible things she has done to people. Do I just have her tell me about the events (when she is able to) and then tap down until she can forgive herself? She is not able to apologize to those who she hurt as they have died or moved away.

Any thoughts or ideas?

Singer

BACK PAIN BROUGHT ON BY EFT

Anonymous — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 18:02:32 GMT

Just to give you some background on how I stumbled on to EFT. I was driving drunk with my wife in the car and crashed into a palm tree. I was just down the street from my house. I got out of the car and checked on my wife, who said she was unable to get out of the car. I didn't believe she was really injured. (I was perfectly fine, why wouldn't she be.) As rediculous as this thought was, this is what I was thinking at the time. Knowing that I was drunk, and trying to avoind going to jail, I had the astounding logic to run for my house, leaving my wife behind. I ran for the house, and got about ten feet from my front door when I was tackled to the ground, by some concerned citizens, and then placed in hadcuffs by an off duty security guard. I blacked out for a while and when I came to I was back at the accident scene. My wife had been taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I was arrested and taken to jail. Following the accident I was having some back pain, not severe, but enough to bother me. Knowing that going to the doctor, would just result in a prescription for pain meds, I made an appointment with Accupuntcture/Chiropractor. I had three visits with him, to he used accupuncture, and one a cupping technique. Needless to say this did litlle to improve the pain in my back. My brother told me about Neurolink, so I decided to give that a try, and their website directed me to a doctor in my area, Las Vegas Nevada. I scheduled an appointment with Dr. Robirds, and had to wait two months to see him. When filling out the paperwork, and listing things that were ailing me, I cited depression, lack of self confidence, and numerous other things along those lines, in addition to the back pain. After my session with Dr. Robirds, my back was completely pain free. In addition, mentaly and emotionally I felt like I had never before, fantastic. Dr. Robirds informed that it wasn't Neurolink that he had used but EFT. He gave me the web address to the EFT website, but I never got around to checking it out. Meanwhile my wife was suffering from extreme pain in her back, legs, hands. I shceduled her an appointment with Dr. Robirds, but this again took two months to get in. The day of her appointment, I was out of town on business, and she missed her appointment. Fast forward a year or so, and my wife was still suffering from chronic pain. She had been diagnosed by three different doctors with Fybromyalgia, and prescribed hydrocodone, muscle relaxer, xanex, and anti depressant medication. Of course these drugs did little to help her. I finally got off my but and made another appointment with Dr. Robirds but made sure this time that she made it to her appoinment. Unfortunately, she was one of the 3% of the people who expeienced extreme emotional distress from the treatment. The emotion was such that both her and the doctor were engulfed in tears. He scheduled her a follow up appointment for one week later, but she was scared to go back, for fear she would experience more of the same emotional trauma. Dr. Robirds again gave me the address of the EFT website, but this time a got on and checked it out. This was back in March of this year. I started practicing EFT on myself to work on depression, and self confidence issues, and felt some progress, but didn't stick with it. A couple of weeks ago, as I approached my 33 birthday, I started experiencing depression and anxiety in a pretty sever way, and decided to go back to EFT. I have developed a routing that consists of a very early morning bike ride, ending at a very beautiful but unused park. There I started working on just some general depression, addiction, self motivation, etc...., and was feeling good. Then I decided to work on some general anger issues directed towards my mother, and felt an enormous relief. During this time I have been continued to study the free EFT manual, and decided to try and work on specific memories, that I believe were issues for me. This is where the trouble began. After working on some grief issues with the death of my father, I was struck by an intense anxiety attack. Although I normally feel a decent amount of anxiety this was very intense. I went back to tapping with the grief issue over my fathers death, and the anxiety subsided, but did not go away completely. In addition to this I had started compiling a list of all of the things that I could think of that carried an emotional burden. One of these was the guilt over having left my wife behind so that I could save my own butt, in the car accident. To my surprise the back pain that I had been rid over for over a year and half suddenly came right back. I did some more tapping for guilt, and some just for back pain, which did bring relief, but very temporary. In addition I can now see how my actions were the direct cause of my wifes pain. Although she has seen my success with EFT, she is still afraid of bringing back the intense emotional pain brought on during her first treatment. Any suggestions or comments on a possible direction from here would be greatly appreciated.

Re: My big problem with life (why im being stuck)

Fabienne — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 10:23:48 GMT

This is my impression:

I would look into your childhood, did you do something very wrong that benefited you? Is there something you know that hurt others?

The present guilt has roots in the past.What would you need to do to accept yourself?What is the worse lie you have told yourself or someone else?

You seem trapped in duality, it is that that you have to heal.

Re: Why do I keep putting off doing EFT???

bodhileaf — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 07:19:10 GMT

There are many reasons why it can become difficult to get motivated to do EFT - even though we know that the results are brilliant and we will be helped in the long run. One of your reasons is right there in your post [quote user="panic"](Sometimes I think I might be making my problems worse)[/quote]

Another is that, when clearing lots of issues, as you have been doing, we can stumble across something that seems so painful that we effectively shut down to avoid it. The barriers come up and we feel the No Entry signs that we put in front of those memories and feelings years and years ago. When this happens, I find it good to tap with someone else - either an EFT exchange or see a practitioner. It could be about safety, that you need to go through this with someone else who can help you to feel safe, or that you need someone else to be able to accept those feelings before you can. I find this especially true of shame and guilt.

When anxiety levels increase after tapping, that can be an indicator that you are approaching some no go areas in your memory banks. Again, having someone to guide you can be really beneficial.

Try the following ideas, just once or twice, then stop tapping and let go of trying to think your way out of it all.

Even though I think I might be making my problems worse, I resolve to break free from this anxiety and the time to do this is now.

Even though I can't seem to make myself do the tapping I need, I choose to find a way to get past this block and send myself whatever it is that I need to do so.

I hope this helps.