Hello,

One more challenge that I have.

Few weeks ago, I had started developing skin problems -- ekzema on the back of my neck, rash on chest, stomach ... itchiness all over body etc.

At that time I was working, I think, on my core issues .... "be allowed to accept goodness, be happy, and enjoy myself". These feelings are foreign, not normal, it is out of the comfort zone for me. It is connected with my childhood -- goodness, enjoyment, happiness -- were not encouraged, good. A lot was about suffering, hardships, difficult, not good enough ... as per my mothers behaviour although we lived well.

When I tapped on "being open to accept goodness", I had feelings of guilt - "I can not be happy when my mother is unhappy, sad, and is suffering." "How can I enjoy myself when my mother is miserable?"

The skin problem got really bad; had to go to doctor, there was an infection -- had to take antibiotics, use creams etc. It is as if my whole inside protested against this idea of being happy; it was like an uprising inside me.

Now the skin problem subsided. What about this issue? How can I free myself from the guilt? connection with how my mother feels? stop sabotaging myself? allow myself to accept and experience goodness and joy?

Your experienced insights are very appreciated.

Jana

Jana - another possible way to look at this might be that our skin is our first line of defence - it is a major part of our protection system.  It could be that with doing the work on the early mother issues, a very young part inside you became afraid felt unsafe and therefore in need of protecting itself.  It is very easy to look at things as being self sabotage, but I've found that the more healing I do myself, and the more I support others with their healing, it's not usually about sabotage but rather a story inside us that isn't being heard.  When we can find a way to bring empathy to those hurting and afraid parts inside us, and help them to feel safe enough to open up and share their story, they no longer stand in the way of our healing.

My feeling is that a good way forward would be to talk with your inner child and find out how s/he is feeling.  Find out her story about why you shouldn't be happy, and why s/he doesn't experience goodness and joy.  If you aren't familiar with this way of working, you might find working with an EFT practitioner who is experienced with Matrix Reimprinting or other forms of accessing the inner child might be of helpful for you.  If you would prefer to work on your own, you could try using Matrix (see here for a posting about it).  When I have things going on that I can't shift, I simply doing a little general tapping on whatever the issue is, then start tapping as if talking to whatever part inside me knows what is happening and invite them to talk with me.  You might find this can help you to get past what you as an adult think is the issue, and allow the hurt inside you to share what is going on for it.  If you find that you aren't getting things to open up, you just aren't accessing the feelings standing in your way, there is a possibility that a part of you doesn't feel safe enough to go their on your own.  In that case consider tapping with the support of a trusted friend or an experienced practitioner.

Very best wishes,

Jo

Hi Jana,

If you were to google healing crisis and skin rash, you will find much on it on the net.  So this happens for some after any kind of mind body or energy session, their body detoxes through their skin, and this what cause the rashes and skin eruptions.  So if what you are having is in deed a some part of healing crisis, then it important that you perspective wise have the correct view of what is going on, and you best not  want to be thinking that possible good thing is a bad one.

Harry

PS:  If what I am saying is true, the what you may do is ask or google search if there is any kind of EFT protocols, that of them, they best strengthen those organs that are responsible to body to detox itself, like liver, kidneys, and etcs.

 Hi Jana,

As Jo says, exploring how your inner child feels and giving her a voice would be really valuable right now. When we're young, we love our parents, even when they don't treat us very well, they are our world. When things go wrong, very often (if not always) little children take on the responsibility of that, they internalise those feelings and what's happening as who they are, and come to life shaping decisions such as

I am not good enough

I don't deserve

I am not lovable

I am not safe etc

Your connection to your mother is I think preventing you from accepting your good. It's like as if you don't have permission from her to 'accept goodness'. This connection is also keeping you stuck in guilt, whenever your life shows some promise and moves towards good you feel guilty and that leads to you sabotaging that good. Explore 'permission' and 'safety' here and see where these fit with you now and when you were younger. The "uprising" you're talking about could be that little girl who wants to be heard!

All the best

Noreen.

Dear Jo,

Thank you for your message and reminding about the inner child and let it be heard.

I work with a practionioner from my country (over Skype) and last time we tapped on feeling of being left, sad, sorry, betrayed, belittled, lost ... and then my fear of the future, what would happen to me when my father left. Some weeks before that, we had tapped on the fact that my mother didnt really want a child at the time she had me, also she wanted a boy. We had tapped on not being loved etc. During last session, we went back to it because i felt that was a bit more to be done. It was the fear that no one would love me (if my mother didnt who would), concern about my future, being loved. And it ended with feeling quilty that I caused problems to family (by being born) and that it was me who made my mother/family unhappy. So we tapped on that. So I guess that is why I feel I shouldnt, dont deserve to happy when others are unhappy and when it was maybe me who caused it.

Then we tapped on feeling deserving to be loved, taken care of, nurtured.  That was still a bit challenging to say.

I think I still feel that we should I be loved when I didnt do anything good/right?

I feel we addressed some core issues. However, the skin problems continues; I am getting rashes and it itches like crazy.  

Jana

Thank you so much Harry for this. I didnt think if "googling" this and I was amazed to read about the healing crisis and skin rash.

Maybe that is my case too. Because actually I feel more energetic than before. 

In my reply to Jo, I desribed that I worked more on my childhood stuff. However, the skin rash is still there, I also hit my toe pretty badly, and have had some skin pimple which, as per the doctor, comes from a sexually transmitted virus which I have no idea where I could have got since I am not active in that area.

I didnt find EFT protocol focusing on detoxing. I will keep drinking lots of water.

Jana

Hello Noreen,

Your description is amazing -- that is exactly how I feel, how it is.

There have been many occassions when I started feeling good/happy/satisfied -- which after a short time -- was turned back to suffering.

Yes, it is that I/little child doesnt feel permitted to be happy. I work with a practioner from my country (over Skype) and last time it came down to me feeling quilty that I was born and feeling that I caused problems and complications to my family by that, and unhappines  ... and that is why I should be happy. It was because my mother didnt want me. I was feeling unloved and also quilty that I was causing trouple. We tapped on that.

And the practioner assigned me a homework to keep tapping on the feeling of deserving to be loved and cared for especially because I didnt get it before.

How do I know that tnis stuff is cleared? 

Jana 

avokle:

I feel we addressed some core issues. However, the skin problems continues; I am getting rashes and it itches like crazy.  

What in your life right now is irritating you or driving you crazy?  Perhaps there is something other than the itching that feels like this that you could tap on to help uncover any more emotional contributors.  Keep on tapping with whatever is coming up and I'd suggest really focusing on three themes:

 * what in my life is irritating me right now?

* how do I see myself? (our skin is often about how we see ourselves - it's what others see of us - and it sounds like you've been doing a bit of work around this theme.  Maybe it will just take some more persistence working through the core issues).

* is there anything that makes me feel unsafe in my life?

Hang in there,

Jo

You'll know you're clearing it by how you feel, the evidence will show up in your life in your relationships, work and so on. And you'll start accepting and receiving your good as a natural outcome just for being you.

Have you tapped on:

I feel guilty that I was born

I am a burden to my family

I am/was unwanted by my mother

I don't feel loved (be specific)

I feel guilty for causing trouble (be specific)

You're doing great Jana, keep tapping ;-)

Thank you Noreen and Jo,

Yes, Noreen, I will be tapping on the issues you have enlisted; especially that feeling of being a burden and being a cause of my mother's unhappiness.

When I tried to do my homework "I deserve to be loved and taken care of by a partner (future one) because I didnt receive it in my childhood.", my immediate response is: "Why would I deserve to be loved when I didnt do anything special/good." I mean, really, why? I really think like that even on a rational level.

 Jo, I will also look at what is irritating/bugging me now. I will think about that and tap on it thoroughly.

Funny thing is, that thanks to EFT, I am feeling balanced, composed, and hopeful after a long long long long time. Even in terms of relationships with men, which I didnt have many (probably of my father, mother stuff), I am feeling more hopeful and I will find love. And now this skin problem comes. Maybe it does mean that something more wants to be healed. Hope I will get to the core.

All your assistance is very helpful because it is pointing out on things I havent thought about. Thank you for helping.

Jana  

Jo, Noreen, and Harry,

How is it with taking medications in such cases. Doctor prescribed to me antihistamine pills and some creams. Shall I go ahead using them?

I read an article that this may confuse the body which is attempting to get rid of something, give it a wrong message.

I wonder whether this skin problems are connected with the fact that when I was a child I was had ekzema and used medicated creams and all sort of stuff for it.

Thank you for your opinions.

Jana  

 As an allergy sufferer myself, I can tell you this: your body is a great machine and if you need medication right now, it will forgive you and continue healing. I used cortisone creams for years and I am still alive, and my skin is doing better than ever.

 Allow yourself to trust you doctor, as there is no need to suffer through these untreated symptoms. You can still do EFT(and I recommend you do) while using the medication.One thing about cortisone that my doctor told me, is that (unless indicated otherwise) we should continue using it for about a week after the symptoms subsides. this allows your cells to calm down completely and can prevent a relapse.

Meanwhile you can also look for other ways to alleviate your symptoms. I have been using a Calendula cream for years, a homeopathic remedy that works like a charm. If you do not have access to this, organic apple cider vinegar works wonders on me as well (not regular vinegar - the apple one is deeply moisturizing, although it can stink you up for a bit) Maybe try it on a small spot, twice a day and see what happens

Good luck and don't despair!

XO

Hi Jana,

Years ago my jorney to where I now am, started with my joining a Japanse sect called Mahikari, it call more what it do devine and spiritual purification of the mind body and spirit, I seen it did lot for me, two years, I was a member and this was in ways the best time of my life, doing this time, I too helped many by doing simple energy based treaments, in a minute, a girl walked on severely hurt ankle, walking and telling every one, my ankle is fine now, there are many other stories but now to this, one of it precepts on cold and flus, that one should not take nothing to cut short the full possible healing potential of them, colds and flus, thus they encourage members not to take any thing for them, net wise too, I have in the past read some say mavericks researchers and doctors in the medical field, they said the same thing, to take nothing per se for the cold, but more treat and do for the body things that booster it organs that removes toxins from it and boost too the immune system, this is too eating taking things that support building body to get better faster.  Ideally, I to agree in full with this line of thinking.  But with Mahikari, a long story that I will not say of, but for very troubling reasons, I had to walk away from a practice that had me living in a full bliss for about 2 years, I had nick name of smiley, and may should had been arrrested for just smiling at the seen and unseen of this world, just kidding.

All that said, however; I not list wise said this, but this past summer, I had a uninary tract infection that hit me in powerful way, That I had to take some antibiotics, 3 session of them, 2 using the same one, which should not been done, and I got to a point that I said with both hands thrown up in frustration, ok, I will follow the protocol of the antibiotics to a tee, and after it all is done go on an program to replace the 2 kinds of stomach flora that were likely destroyed by taking the antibiotics. The taking of the antibiotics, put my body in way, that still I yet to fully get back into the my full daily and exercise routine that I use to do, I am almost there now but I am working on an idea that I will say about in another post later ok? Today, there may be more advice on all the little things that one need and should do after taking antibotics, I need to look into this myself for there may be new things that recent been suggested.

There is more I could say on this matter and may do later, but for now, I am just settling with what I just said of my own experiences ok?

Take Care,

Harry

avokle:

How is it with taking medications in such cases. Doctor prescribed to me antihistamine pills and some creams. Shall I go ahead using them?

Jana - as this is an EFT forum the people posting here are not really qualified to offer advice as to whether you should take medication or not.  The purpose of the forums is to offer suggestions on using EFT.  Only you can decide whether or not to continue with the medications.  There are a lot of different theories out there and many people have their own opinion.  My recommendation would be to use EFT to talk with your body and find out what it wants.

avokle:

I wonder whether this skin problems are connected with the fact that when I was a child I was had ekzema and used medicated creams and all sort of stuff for it.

This is likely to be a major clue for you.  With EFT we try always to look to the original incident of a problem in our lives as a clue to what the emotinoal contributors are.   Eczema is often a response to not feeling safe in the world, or feeling ashamed, so I would particularly advice working around these themes with your tapping.  Are you aware of the circumstances of your birth at all? Eczema can often be an early response to feeling unsafe as a result of birth trauma.  Any tapping you can do around this is likely to help.

Very best wishes,

Jo

Hello Jo, Xo, and Harry,

Thank you for your responses.

Xo's insight about body beeing understanding and forgiving makes sense. I didnt take pills but was using the cream for the rash. I was wearing gloves at night to keep myself from scratching. :) That was quite funny. Imagine, living in a hot country and wearing skiing gloves at night.

I kept doing EFT. Yes Jo, it keeps going back to childhood. The string of thougts is like this:

"Mom and Dad were arguing because of me -- I caused that they were unhappy -- if I didnt exist, they would be happy -- I feel quilty I was born -- I wish I wasnt born -- It is all my fault"

There are no specific events associated with this -- this is more the way my was functioning.

My skin rash started subsiding. :)

At the same time as I am feeling quilty, I am also coming to a sad observation, that my mom was sort of taking pleasure in our (me and my brother) unhappiness, sadness, and suffering. It is as if sometimes she would trigger bad feelings in us on purpose. My own mother made us feel sad and unhappy on every possible occassion.

It is saddening, although I know that probably she wasnt doing it on purpose, that she was doing all she knew, because of her own unhappiness.

And then it makes me feel sorry because I see that I keep myself functioning in this unhappines mode. I took myself away from opportunities of being loved, happy, having what I wanted and that makes me cry.

At the same time, I am hopeful that with EFT I can completely heal this (thanks to EFT!). Thank you for all your support and encouragement; this "skin problem" phase was really tough.

Jana