Hi Suzana,
Looks like you've gotten a lot of good advice here in the forum
already. Not sure if this will help any, (please disregard anything that
doesn't resonate with you) but I am personally very reluctant to work on
family members close to me. In fact, I never do it directly. Reason
being? ...I'm always sensitive to the fact that it just might be me
who's part of the problem! If not directly, then it's certainly
probable I might have somehow contributed to their thoughts and feelings
about some other situation they're dealing with as well. As we all
know, (or should know) no parent or spouse has ever done EVERYTHING right, and
I find it reasonable to suspect that spouses particularly might be very
resistant to opening up about something they think might hurt your feelings,
frighten you, disappoint you, or affect your relationship.
While I recognize that I have an easy time accepting/understanding
that thoughts & feelings are to be moved THROUGH, my
husband and daughter do not. With EFT I'm able to watch thoughts shift
and change like the wind -- and disappear as effortlessly as a butterfly floats
away. But most people haven't had this experience. We all learned
to feel very deeply that our thoughts/feelings define us. To allow
ourselves to accept & own a particular "unattractive" thought
(no matter how justifiable) usually means to us that we are somehow a "bad"
person, or that we'll be forced to physically act -- that we must DO something
right away to make it [or the problem] "go away". What we rarely
see though is that there is probably a solution that we're not even capable of
realizing at the moment; and that in fact, it's quite possible that absolutely
nothing may need to be physically changed... and certainly nothing needs to be
changed immediately. The people we work with also don't often
realize ahead of time that the point of EFT is to release/remove the negative thought,
instead of spending years trying to deny, avoid and outrun it.
EFT will work in some ways even if you don't get to the
precise core issue, which is I think what you're seeing with your husband's
sleepiness and hunger. It IS working... just not at the symptom level
you've been hoping to address.
Here is what I'd suggest (again, feel free to disregard anything that
doesn't fit for you):
1) Are you familiar with working on your husband surrogately? If
not, there's a lot in Gary's DVD's about that, you can search the forums on
surrogate tapping, and I also have some old postings on that subject that you
can read through if you choose. I would highly recommend trying this with
your husband. Absolutely amazing "no fear" results can come about
without him ever even getting involved. This is the only way I work with
my family.
2) As Joanne already mentioned, work some more with yourself and your
thoughts/fears. Explore the kinds of things you might be afraid that he'd
say.
3) If you decide to keep working with him directly, I would prepare him with
what conversations you honestly can to make him feel safe that you won't
overreact to anything, or judge him for the feelings he might uncover.
(You may need to keep a thick skin!) Remind him of how EFT is a wholly different approach to processing
thoughts... with EFT, we actively try to find the negative thoughts without
judgment so we can unearth the [loving] truth about them... the whole point of EFT is to
recognize negativity so it can be released with love - not avoided, shunned and
forever condemned.
4) If he still wants to work on it, try a lot of tapping on the
resistances:
"Even Though I don't really believe this to be the
case, I'll try to be open to the possibility that I might not really want to
know what's at the base of my pain."
"...I'm really not comfortable with what I think
I might be thinking."
"...Maybe I'm afraid to dig too
deeply."
"....Maybe it's possible that I just don't want
to open up to my wife"
"...I'm afraid my wife's feelings will be
hurt... or that she will judge me or think less of me."
5) Lastly, (and you might even want to try this first) look for
alternative tapping points - have him try tapping directly on the
pain, and anywhere around it. Oftentimes you'll start tapping one area,
and you'll notice a pain, itch or twinge somewhere else... have him just keep
following the path that's being laid out for him, keeping open to any thoughts
that cross his mind -- negative or positive. Maybe go online and get a
map of acupressure points; you can use this to sort of "feel around" for sore
spots. While following these spots around, you can also have him practice
(either alone or with you) speaking every little thought that comes into his
mind, like "I hate this"..."this is stupid"... "oh,
but that's interesting"..."Wow, I just really want to eat; what do I want to eat? Doesn't matter...just want food...want food...want food..." etc. etc.
Keep
us posted!