Dear EFT forum

I wonder are there any testimonials people have heard that EFT can give you a body image , whereby you really can view yourself in the nude and at least not feel ashamed of your body, or embarrassed?  Even when I was in my teens and very slim, and trim, I hated being naked infront of my then boyfriend..now aged 50, and not having had a close physical relationship for a very long time, the thought of the rejection that could occur because of my body not being firm and youthful, really really saddens me, and annoys me and just makes me think ...why do you feel you have to be young and beautiful... I know that men find the visual side very important --so that really puts additional pressure on me..I cannot imagine I will ever be able to have a relationship..just because of this problem ..let alone any other factors!

Jane 

Hello Jane

Absolutely ... this is what EFT does. It shifts the energy within, the way you see your self, the way you talk to your self, the way you think about your self and in doing this, the focus is then shifted as well, changed to what works for you now as opposed to where it was or where it went to in order to save you, protect you once upon a time.

As you work on these issues that you have mentioned in your post, their effect and importance will change allowing you to not only 'feel' differently but also 'be' different.

Thank you for sharing and I look forward to hearing about your experience with this.

In Peace, Kathleen

I think one of the things that is very overlooked on self helpy type forums and books is that our interaction with others helps define who we are.  Psych studies have shown repeatedly that more doors are opened for pretty people.  I have read books on the history of beauty.  It is a very important part of the human experience.  No matter what morals or story we want to tell ourselves about the importance of other aspects of the human experience, beauty is and should be desirable, even preferred if that is the way we want it.

So congratulations on accepting humanity as it is.  It is a fact.  (That and that men are visual...so am I.) There is no sense in hiding behind all the comforting self talk that you are a nice person, etc. in hopes that your outward beauty doesn't matter.

To aspire to be beautiful and pretty is as worthy as any other aspiration.  It is just that, from my experience, it can't be about others.  It has got to be about yourself.

I have a whole thread going on about this elsewhere.  I have tapped on some of the suggestions and it has helped me with confidence.  Here is the drawback.  I got hit on/catcalls from three different men after tapping.  Even though I sort of have a sex kitten image in my mind, I never said it while tapping.  I wanted to be naturally beautiful for me....a no make up, no padded bra kinda look.  And there I was at 47 with all kinds of creepy guys following me around like a 25 year old sex kitten.  I highly reccomend leaving the sex kitten part out of your thoughts and your tapping:)

Do it for yourself.

That being said, of course you are a wonderful person.  Of course there are men who will like you as you are.  Look around at 50 year old men.  LOL...there aren't too many prizes out there.  Much ugliness.  Pot bellys, saggy...well you know...um  you know, their junk...hanging down to their knees.  I am skinny/saggy/AAA cup and just came off a wonderful 6 year affair with a very handsome gentleman.  I thought he was way out of my league to be quite honest.  My husband still thinks I am hot (Ok so I have no morals...don't care too much either.)

So you can see I can get men....but I want what I want....and that is to have a bikini body complete with real live woman boobs.  Tapping for five years and I have no boobs yet, but I am gaining confidence.  The tapping helped, just in an unexpected way.

So if you want to take the journey together.... I am willing.  I am going for the boobs, at the very least.

But be careful what you wish for.

PS.  The Script for Body Image  under the Weight Forum is the discussion to which I was referring.  I offer it because I have a slightly different perspective, and I have found the usual preachy inner beauty attitude just doesn't work for me.

teann:

So you can see I can get men....but I want what I want....and that is to have a bikini body complete with real live woman boobs.  Tapping for five years and I have no boobs yet, but I am gaining confidence.  The tapping helped, just in an unexpected way.

 

So if you want to take the journey together.... I am willing.  I am going for the boobs, at the very least.

Years ago I wanted a decent bust, and tried a hypnosis tape.

Well, it worked,  but it made my boobs so uncomfortable while they were growing that I stopped listening to it !

They eventually went back to how they had previously been as I believe that is my set body image, but you know what ? Now, I am so happy with my A cup chest and I have completely accepted myself this way.

Everybody is different, and if you feel happy with yourself it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - and I think this is the key........

if you feel happy with yourself it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks

Exactly.  I am the one who is unhappy.  I am glad you are happy with yourself, but I don't even want to be happy with AAAs.  I want to be happy with As or Bs or even Cs.  I don't want to settle for anything less than my best.  My best is certainly not a mediocre unfeminine appearance.  I can and will have better, even if tapping, hypnosis, herbs, ect... don't work.  There is no sense in lowering my standards to be poor or below average.  Its like getting a D on a test, but saying I tried my best, and not bothering to do better the next time. Or curving the test because everyone in the class did badly.  It is flat out failure.  Others won't know it, but I have to live with it in my own head.

If we are going to tap to be average, what's the sense?  I haven't improved myself.  I haven't given myself worth or what I am deserving.  I merely gave up. 

Hi Teann,

This really sounds like a core issue in the guise of not being happy with your body. This was likely a strategy that you used in childhood- find the roots and

dig it out to be free of it for good. When was it not valued that you tried your best? What were the reprecussions of not getting it right? Who or what drove

you to feel that you weren't good enough exactly as you were. Discover this and your break your body image stuff, even procrastination and more.

Alina Frank, CERT-I

www.tapyourpower.net

Actually I was kinda too good.  Mom didn't want me showing up my older sis so I wasn't allowed to be as smart and pretty as I am .  Dad doesn't like spoilt smart kids either though he is quite brilliant himself, and knows I was reasonably academic, like  straight A and advanced with little effort back in the old days of my childhood.

 No one cared about my boobs though.  Thats all my own hang up.  Though I imagine if I ever got sexier than my sis, I would have to hide it...lol.  Those two are nuts together.  Throw in Grandma and you have got a Jane Austen novel in the makes.

 Okay that's a good place to start. List all the earliest memories you have of not being able to be "show up" my sister and tap. See what else might be there related to that as you use EFT. Also look for any times in your past that others either made you feel inadequate or you yourself did especially around your body or sexually. I am strongly getting it the hit that there is still more here and that I am not able to tell you clearly since I don't have enough of your history. By starting this process EFT will likely show you where to go next but you might need to start the tapping to get to the layer underneath.

Alina 

I have tapped extensively on my childhood...I am tired of it.  It just makes things worse.   I used to love my parents and many of my childhood memories.  Now I have mostly terrible memorites, tapped into reality, and some not even true.  Its just that when you tap, you are basically drumming suggestions into your head and you have to talk yourself out of them later rationally and sort for the truth.  I basically had a decent childhood, just a few slights here and there, which I have tapped on, cried about, and frankly blown out of proportion because of all this psychoanalysis.  And  I have a chronic fear, which I have always had since I was very young, and have tapped on, but from which I can find no source or event.  I can tap and investigate til kingdom come and I doubt its going to do any good.  I think its better to use tapping in the positive way, for the temporary feel good of positive suggestions.  Or I can just think the positive thoughts without the tapping and get the same temporary high, just like I get the temporary low from tapping on or reveiwing the bad things.

Why not tell a new and better story?  I have retold the old one over and over.  It gets me no where. 

 Now...in my adulthood, I have decided I want big  healthy breasts....maybe about ten years ago it became important to me.   It is a very good wish and desire.  I am very happy with myself for not  settling and for being bold enough to be honest enough to say I don't like the way I look naked or in clothes with tiny shrivedled up areolas, where my full round breasts should be.

I am so good with this desire.  It is a beautiful delicious desire.  And yes it will bring much joy.  Not that I can't have joy without.  It simply will be icing on the cake.

 Hi Teann,

So here you happen to be describing one of the biggest challenges I see with folks who use EFT on their own. This is not how EFT works. We aren't drumming in negatives- we are clearing them. The only way those positive reframes ever "land" (including affirmations about changing anything even bodies) is to clear what is distrupting the energy system in the first place. It's a common mistake among people who use EFT without a quality practitioner or who are just starting out. 

I belonged to a manifestation group years ago and have been a student of LOA and positive thinking for most of my life. I was raised in Unity Church and those tenants where solidly engraved in my mind early on. I always felt there was a missing ingredient. Many of the people in those circles who exuded positivity - always affirming this and that, speaking affirmative statements, and would be work constantly through meditation and other practices to keep themselves positive where always sick/broke/had lousy relationships. When I found EFT I said "Hallelujah! This is what is missing!" And it's proven itself to be the case with thousands of clients I have worked with and my own life. 

The reason why you are likely not getting relief is because you are either being too global or shifting aspects. Those two stump people working alone on their issues constantly. Once you have used EFT on something and used it the right way it's gone. 

With your other statement about phobias. I have worked with many phobias that have no immediate link to a traumatic event. Sometimes it's a metaphor for something else in a clients life but sometimes it isn't. EFT works in those cases brilliantly again, as long as the shifting aspects and global stumbling blocks are addressed.

The other things to watch for are psychological reversals and your subconscious mind hiding the real core issue from you. 

EFT is an amazing tool but many find a youtube video here, learn it from a friend at a party, or go to practitioners that aren't qualified and that's when they get the wrong impression that it doesn't work. I advise you to study the DVDs from www.emofree.com  or work with a practitioner if you still aren't getting results after what I have suggested to you. 

I am pretty sure the practitioners I saw are all qualified.  I may have learned eft on you tube, but I paid a lot for expertise on and off throught the years. You guys make more in one hour than I do in a day.  I thought it was worth it, repeatedly, if I got over fear, made myself financially independent, and/or reproportioned my body.

I still say it was worth  the shot because for some people it really does work.

When I came back to the board, I was only replying to the person who hopped on to tell me she was happy with herself.  I received it in my personal email account as we do replies to our posts.  Otherwise I would not have come back.  I wasn't planning on starting up again. The bones around my eyes can't take it anymore either. Gosh they get sore, don't they?  Sorry to keep this going, but hopefully others will realize it doesn't necessarily work either.  I don't feel the need to live with the disappointment anymore.

 Big boobs and wealth immeasurable for those who want them!  That was a toast, not an affirmation.

Good luck.

Hello Teann, 

I hear your repeated frustration running through the many posts you have on the forum. Of course I try to address your particular concerns and challenges while understanding that I can't possibly get to know the particulars of your personal situation through emails. I also think that my advice is here to serve others looking for ways to refine the use of EFT and become more effective.

If you feel that you have tried to your satisfaction and can't get relief the way it is taught on the DVDs or the manual and that you worked with quality practitioners long enough to know that it doesn't work for you then I wish you the best doing what you are currently trying.

One final pointer - you don't have to tap if you are getting sore. Touch and breath method is just as effective.

Blessings,

Alina

promoting plastic surgery on an eft forum is probably not the most sane approach to things but I feel it should be done. You have complained over and over again about your lack of boobs. If EFT hasn't helped which it obviously hasn't considering your constant whinging about your AAAs then please for the love of god do yourself a favor and buy some. Does your medical condition (which im not aware of and is something you mentioned in another post) prevent you from doing this? I naturally have a pear shaped figure. I did not like how I looked in outfits or bikinis because I felt I was bottom heavy and I didn't like this look on myself. This doesn't mean I don't admire other women who lack breasts--I think some women who have unconventional figures are absolutely beautiful..but my own preference was to fill out my top half a little. My first surgeon completely screwed me up leaving me looking like a circus freak show. I saved up enough money and found another surgeon who was able to fix me and there isn't even one second that I regret what I did. Some may call it a quick fix or buying into society's standards but regardless,  I really never think about my breasts anymore and to not have my mind consumed with those obsessive thoughts have made the surgery so worth it. You can keep tapping away and become more confident about your general appearance but the tone of your posts tell me that it's not gonna wipe out your incessant desire for boobs.

Everyone has their own experiences and opinions. I will just add that I know a colleague who works at a plastic surgeon's office. The doctor hired her after he came to realize that many of his patients wanted to have repeated surgeries never really being completely satisfied with what they had. He understood that what happens in the mind is infinitely more important that what the body looks like. What an enlightened plastic surgeon!

Even though many find improvements in their body image after surgery there are still many risks, costs, and unknowns regarding plastic surgery and some might wish to try adjusting their beliefs/thoughts/attitudes instead. I have seen some beautiful transformations with women regarding aging and acceptance that a knife could never acheive.

Alina Frank