Hi,

My name is Iris and I'm a Rehabilitation psychologist, and I've recently decided to encorporate EFT in my work more seriously (I learned it 2 yrs. ago).

I've been trying it with a client, but with no success, and wanted to hear some possible explanations if you have. We tried doing it about her repulsion from a little spot/scar she had on her chest. This little thing caused her disgust and need to hide it behind high collar shirts (It's summer and it's very hot, but she's a perfectionist). The setup statement was "Even though I hate this ugly/repulsive spot, I deeply and completely love and accept myself". Her inensity of repulsion was 12! But even after a thorough round she felt no relief and still felt the same disgust, hatred and repulsion.

Then she told me she wakes up at 2:30 every night and can't fall back asleep till 4:00. She's very tired and so I suggested she tap on it before going to bed and if she still wakes up, to tap on the difficulty of going back to sleep again. I asked her to do it in the shower, after washing herself only with water (trying to eliminate toxin effects) I suggested specific phrases to use (for eg. "Even though I'm waking up at 2:30 every night and I'm so tired, I deeply and completely love and accept myself"). She wrote the next day to say that on that night she woke up at 1:30! and couldn't sleep till 4:00.

So I stopped doing EFT with her... Am I giving it up too soon? But it's so unpleasant when someone expects somethhing and then it doesn't work.

Any suggestions?

Thanks,

Iris

yes it is unpleasant when someone expects something and then it doesn't work.

What you have been doing is called Manual EFT and it works perhaps 50% of the time for identified problems. however, it's not enough for many other problems. Deep EFT, or whatever you may call it, which involves going deeply into her issue - what is stopping her from sleeping, when did this problem start, does it remind her of something from her youth, how does she feel about dealing with the problem, what problems will be caused if she lets go of the problem, can help with other short term problems, like pains. Chronic problems, like ongoing sleeplessness, anxiety, fatigue, weight, etc require Even Deeper EFT to address whole lifestyle patterns and ways of viewing life, which often has origins in the way the parents and grandparents handled life. It is not unusual for such cases to have hundreds or even thousands of different aspects, all of which must really be addressed before the problem will disappear. A practitioner who has personally worked through any issues that the client also has, will be able to help the client speed through those shared issues. They will only need to spend a long time on the issues specific to the client.

Sorry to sound so overwhelming - but please point me to an EFT practitioner who has faster success rates. Visualizations and bundling baggage techniques can sometimes zap a collection of problems at once, but still it requires quite a lot of dedicated time.

when people want to describe their successes, they point to their successful one minute miracles, not to the rest of their cases which took much longer, or where they failed.

Hey Iris,

It great to hear of your commitment to using EFT more.  WOO HOO!  :~)

From the information you've provided, it sounds like you're using a mechanical form of EFT.  Mechanical EFT is, at least in my experience, very limited in it's results.  EFT really starts to shine when you learn to find core issues.  For instance, in a session with a client today who also has issue of waking up and not being able to get back to sleep, we worked on two underlying issues.  First, there was a embodied memory of feeling anxious during a period when she lost a job.  We found that core issue by asking the question, "What was happening in your life when the sleep problems first started."  We cleared the feelings of that time from her system.

The second issue we worked on was that she was "pissed off at sleep".  Over the years of intermitent sleep problems, she built up anger and frustration in her system.  We found this issue by asking the question, "Where in your body does this problem live?"  She said her stomach.  I asked her, "If the feelings in your stomach could talk, what would they say?"  She said, "F*** YOU SLEEP!"   (Be ready for an honest answer - LOL). Once we knew were dealing with anger, it was matter of clearing the intensity.

Once we cleared these two underlying issues, she left the session feeling much more confident about a new relationship with sleep.  It doesn't mean we're done, but she now understands the concept of core issues and feels confident that EFT can help her get back to restful sleep patterns as she has had in the past.  There may well be some more issues that we need to collapse.

This general approach to finding core issues that I'm describing is often called Imagineering.  There's lots of articles in the Emofree newsletter archives on this approach.

With much love,

Paul

Hi,

Paul and Rachel, thank you both for your useful replies. I already checked out the 2 techniques mentioned - imagineering and bundling baggage. I have a question regarding imagineering - can it be used for emotional symptoms and if so, how?

Both of you thought I was doing mechanical EFT and thought this was the reason it didn't work. Maybe. But correct me if I'm wrong - in the videos, at least the basic ones and also many short videos on the site, this mechanical EFT addressed at the symptoms works! Are you saying they only present what worked and not what failed? That's important for me to know, because I've tried EFT many times on various issues for myself and my daughters, and haven't always been successful. Actually, I've had more failures than successes. This is probably what made me ambivalent in the past, but the many successes on the videos and elsewhere have convinced me to try it again.

Now, usually I'm a rather sensitive and intuitive person and I CAN sense core issues, but not always. I'm starting to work with an EFT therapist, but still, I want to take advantage of the technique for my own personal use and to help my family. Are you saying it won't work because it's "mechanical"?...

Mechanical EFT is simply using the Basic Recipe and tapping through the points with what you already know about an issue.  It's effective in a surprising number of cases, but as Gary Craig teaches in the DVDs, it is not enough to heal everything all of the time.  That's why the basic EFT DVDs are just one set of many sets of DVDs that go into the finer points of applying EFT.  It's not a matter of only those that work being shown, it's more that in some cases mechanical EFT is all that is required, and that is what is shown on the basic DVDs.  As you go through the DVDs you learn that a more intuitive approach is required to deal with the remainder of the issues that don't respond to the simple Basic Recipe.  This is where the skill and art of applying EFT come in.

It is very common for people who are new to EFT to watch some of the short clips on the web and the basic DVDs and get the mistaken impression that EFT is easy for everyone to apply in every situation.  But as any of use who have been using EFT for some time know, while EFT is very simply to apply, people and their issues are complex!

If you want to really be able to tap into the power of EFT working with a therapist is a great idea.  Also expose yourself to different approaches and different ideas, there is a wealth of free resources available on the internet that can teach different ways of approaching issues.  The skill of applying EFT to anything other than very simple issues is being able to get out of our own road and allow our intuition to lead us to the core issues.  However our intuition usually draws heavily on what we've learnt, which is why exposing ourselves to different approaches gives more for our intuition to draw on.

In most cases if EFT "isn't working" it is because we haven't got to the core of the issue that needs to be resolved.  This can require patience and persistence.  Even what looks like a very simple issue can turn out to have multiple aspects that all need to be addressed.  With any issue that isn't budging it is important to look at the downsides of letting go of the issue, or the upside of hanging onto it.  This sort of exploration can also lead us to core issues.

There is a great article by EFT Master Carol Look that gives 10 questions that can help to move from mechanical EFT to looking at the different doors in to the core issues that might be a good next step for you.  If you are interested you can find it at http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/ask-right-questions.htm  If you are wanting to use EFT with others I would seriously recommend you first do a lot of EFT with your own issues, then you will feel much more comfortable with it and the people you are assisting with it will get much better results.

Very best wishes,

Jo

"So I stopped doing EFT with her... Am I giving it up too soon? But it's so unpleasant when someone expects somethhing and then it doesn't work.

Any suggestions?"

 hi, hmmm...nothing...suggests...to...vern...that...the...empath

...should...stop...using...EFT...on...others...until...the...time...

they...have...had...the...experience...of...it...working...on...ones

...self...micro...gestures...and...all...that...jazz!

peace&love...vern

Hey Iris,

As someone who wants to effectively use EFT in your professional practice and in your personal life, I suggest that you get a copy of the Foundational Library DVD's from this site.  In these videos, you'll see Gary Craig talk about the importance learning "intuitive EFT" and he gives detailed instructions on ways he learned to do this.  

In answer to your question: Yes, I am saying that I think you will see much more in the way of results if you deepen your study of EFT.

Blessings,

Paul

In addition to what Jo says about the advantages and disadvantages of holding onto something, there are also the issues of permission (from all parts of you and others who may be involved) to get over the issue and a feeling of deserving to get over it. Also, look at getting over something 'completely' and 'partially' sometimes we have permission or feel deserving to get over something 70% but the other 30% is resisting for various reasons. That's when it can get interesting and is a great learning curve for us and the client ;-).

Hope this helps

Hi Everyone,

Thank you all for your useful advice and comments.

I have already started deepening my knowledge of EFT, reading a lot of important articles, suggestions and stories, and also working with a practitioner. I hope this will prove itself in the area of results.

Thanks again,

Iris

HI Everybody,

 I can very much relate to the feeling of disgust and anger towards a body part. I hesitate to work with a practitioner because of the embarrassment it causes me.

 I realize the underlying issue is non-acceptance, self-hatred, disgust at the sight of myself in the mirror etc. I realize I need to love and accept that part of me before I can go about changing it. But it's hard and there are myriad other issues involved, such as fear of independence, fear of being "better" than my parents- thus stepping on their toes, violating my promise of inferiority, which seems to be the condition for affection- at least in my reading of the relationship..

Sorry, Iris, didn't mean to sidetrack, just really related to this.

I'm not getting very far. But you all seem to point to the manual and articles for a more intuitive use of EFT. So I'll try that.

Thanks and Best wishes,

Workinprogress 

Workinprogress

You have highlighted a great many areas where it would appear on the surface EFT might not be working.

What many people do not realise it that childhood trauma and repression can cause parts of us to be in conflict, and it is normal for a child to take on the blame and feel shame, hatred and disgust, as a way to hold on to the relationship.

I can assure you that any therapist specialising in working with childhood issues will understand the shame you are experiencing.  In fact I can also assure you that most people do feel ashamed of many of their issues so this is not unusual.  

Those of us who have invested in our training and in our self work will have developed both an empathy for the clients sensitivities and also use much more sophisticated techniques to gently get to core issues.  There is so much more to effective EFT than the basic manual or even quick version you may have been taught or watched on the internet somewhere.  The DVD Library is a good place to learn.

Gill 

Workinprogress,

As Gill has said, you've identified many important issues.  Good work!

One thing that often helps with the non-acceptance issues is more gentle language in the setup phrase.  Instead of "deeply and completely love and accept myself", you might try wording like:

• I'm open to the possibility that I could be a little more gentle with myself 
• I'm willing to be a little kinder and more compassionate with myself anyway
• I'm giving myself permission to relax a little bit anyway

EFT practitioner Betty Moore-Haftner has some great resources at her site, www.CreativeEFT.com, about gentle and creative use of language in our tapping sequences.

Blessings,

Paul

Try tapping on what you've written here:

Even though I'm too embarrassed to work with a practitioner, I accept myself and how I feel anyway - repeat 'this embarrassment' on all the points

Even though I know I don't accept myself, in fact I hate myself and I feel disgust at the sight of myself in the mirror, I completely accept myself somehow - repeat and cycle through 'this lack of self-acceptance' 'this hate' and 'this disgust' on all the points, or pick the one that has the most charge for you

Take your beliefs and find all the specific events that are holding them up and tap on them:

Belief 1: I am afraid of being independent - how does this manifest?

Belief 2: I am afraid of being better than my parents (What would the consequences be if you were?)

Belief 3: The love of my parents is conditional on me being .......(fill in the blank)

When do you think you made that promise/vow to yourself to remain inferior and perhaps not be a 'threat' or 'too successful'?

Hope this helps

Iris,

Something that gets results for people is to include a secondary subject matter of how the person feels about themselves for having the issue in the first place. This can be like an "electric fence" around the problem that makes it hard to approach successfully.

You can try having her do it on things like -

"I hate how I feel having this"

"I hate not being perfect"

"Nobody is going to love me for having this spot"

and so on, as much as you can ABOUT how she feels about herself, and THEN tackle the issue and feelings about the issue.

One aspect people don't realize is that once the issue and related feelings are gone, there's still free floating negative energy concerning how they feel about themselves for having the issue in the first place, so it's good to always target this no matter what. And if you get it out of the way first, you can be sure to have a more unimpeded path to undoing the issue itself.

Hope this helps,

- Paul

Hey Paul,

"One aspect people don't realize is that once the issue and related feelings are gone, there's still free floating negative energy concerning how they feel about themselves for having the issue in the first place."

I think you're right on with this.  Being frustrated at problem and ourselves for having it can be a great place to start if we aren't seeing progress.

Blessings,

Paul