Hopeful:

 Btw, does anyone here believe in spiritual stuff?
I won't talk about it if no one here believe it. But, it has some bearing on my indecision/fear of trying EFT.

Hi Hopeful,

Gary Craig (founder of EFT) himself is an ordained minister, talks about and mentions God in the manual and DVDs. He is not imposing how he believes, he is just stating his opinion, there is a huge difference. Regardless of religion and spirituality, EFT works and gets results. It will dissolve our negative emotions, not the positive emotions. So if you're worried that it will somehow interfere with your beliefs and faith in this area, don't be ;-) You can always mention that this fear is preventing you from trying it to a practitioner?

All the best

Noreen.

 Hi, I've another problem.

 It's like this.I've ben 'ok' for a while i.e. I still have the urge and hallucination, but, lessen and I am able to make myself calm to a certain degree and I always can divert my attention with by reading or watching something I like. But, a few days ago, while I was going a sleep, an addiction I want to get rid of came up. I've read the a Huna method of cord cutting where you imagine you cut a cord to something to release it (I use this method instead of EFT because I was going to sleep and my limbs too tired to tap and this method seems simple and harmless). After the imaginary cord cutting, my body feel a chill or something. The urge to the addiction seems gone (I found out next day not totally gone). The problem now then, I started worry what will happen after the cord cutting and it kinda set off my anxiety. Ok, I finally able to sleep. The next day, while reading discussion of a character I like in a comedy series I just watched, it suddenly trigger my memory of the cord cutting and the chill come. I was going to sleep the next night an mymind become active and random thoughts come it (it has always been like that before I fell asleep). The themevideo of the comedy series I watch started come in and when the face of the character I like appear, I started to feel heat and sweat. This kinda heighten my anxiety. So, it seem the face of that person or even anything relate to the comedy series trigger the anxiety. But, it got worse. I was talking with my friend about something and I just thought of another actor I like and I started worry whether the anxiety will come. Sure enough it comes. Now it has expanded to whenever I think of things I enjoy or like or can make me feel good, I will feel heat and if it gets worse will keep sweating. I don't know what thought will trigger it now. I work up tired this morning and tried to sleep again. Sleeping ok, then the random thought again trigger the anxiety and I sweat all over and feel hot again. I tried to ignore it and hope it goes away like my previous anxiety (my previous anxiety won't make me feel heat and sweat thought except the time I took any depression). I tried to ignore it, but, it will always been in the back ground even if my attention is focus on playing the game or reading the book (even EFT manual which makes me feel hopeful). Sigh, what should I do? I use to be able to divert my mind and watch something else to relax after reading EFT info or other healing method too long, but, now these things will give me heat wave. What should I do. Why is my anxiety so active?

 Gillian, I've emailed you. Just want to tell you in case you miss my email. Sorry to bother you so much.

 I have so many problems I don't even know where to start first. Here are some of them. (I've listed many more, some are minor and some are embrassaing, so, I won't list those).

 - Anxiety that last a long time (days on end) - in the middle of suffering latest bout, see previous post

- Hallucination (lessen already)

- Violent urge/images (lessen already)

- sinus - I have to breath with my mouth because my nose like more than half block. Difficulty breathing with nose alone.

- skin problem - rashes that always comes back to the same place and I've also has shingles once

- body very sensitive to pain. Sometimes, why my body feel heat, the sensitively intensity until holding keys also feel pain.

- procrastination

- Indecisiveness, having difficulty making decision, afraid to make decision, worried of making wrong decision and has bad consequence. Even small decision like where to eat, I've cannot thing.

- some addiction

- fatigue, letargy

- guilt

- prone to negative thoughts that refuse to go away

- depression

- communication problems - afraid to call friend because afraid I will bother them, afraid of no having anything to say, when want to call, always give a lot of reason to self not to call. Thus, hard to maintain friends and lead to loneliness

- allergy 

- stage fright - no matter how I prepare, I will shake all over involuntarily while onstage

- extreme lack of confidence

- feel stuck in my job but can get out becuase no confidence to find another job. Also, feel bad for leaving becuase boss is good.

- loneliness, because staying alone and have comminucation problem. Everytime I know a friend is transfering, leaving, I will react badly. No, I'm back to hometown to recuperate from depression but will have to go back to work in May. I'm also very worried about that.

- tend to worry alot

- very very sensitive about what others think me and will feel bad if I cause others trouble. Because of that, I also reacted badly to being misunderstood. Also dislike oweing people.

- hard to forgive myself (harder than forgiving others)

- fear of death, what happen after death and fear lossing family members

- easily upset and angered

- feeling helpless

- reluctant to start EFT because worried what will happen. Will also worried about the consequence when I did try the alternative healing method

- very poor memory

- gas in stomach problem

- feel helpless

- insomnia whenever anxiety attack 

- Feel jittery when work up every morning or in the middle of the night, shaky hands (test for tyroid 3 times, result came out negative)

- hormone and immune system imbalance according to doctor.

 In reading the 'You CAN Heal with EFT', got quite a lot of ideas that might possibly be the cause of problem

 - guilt (e.g 1. I carry by baby sister on the shoulder accidentally dropped her while she was a baby. Luckily she's ok.But her neck always kinda stiff. My mom said dunno if it's the drop. 2. In directly and unintentionally causing friendship between 2 person to go sour )

- death of my brother when I was a kid

- my mom she nearly miscarried while carrying me and I have difficulty coming out. The midwife has to put her hand inside my mom's womb to pull me out. My mom also said I cried every night has a baby for 100 days causing my dad to lost 10 pounds because of lack of sleep. Also have great difficulty feeding me because I refuse to eat/eat very slowly when I was a baby

- self-esteem problem due to thinking I lack ability. Regret for loss opportunity, steps I didn't make.

- feeling helpless and lost, don't knoe what action to take, can't see the future and cane figure out a concrite goal. Loneliness

 The following I don't know is the cause or not., because I look back at them but doesn't feel traumatised

- hand gets burn when a firework I was holding blowup (I don't even remember the blow up or the scene with the doctor. I just remember riding on the bicycle with my dad with both our left palm bandage.

- tongue nearly cut off due to a fall and need to be stitch without anesthetic. I remember 4 people holding me on the sea and I was struggle, but, I don't remember the pain

 - nearly choke to death but the rope break (it's an accident. I was playing those there there's alot of bar on top and you move cross the other side hanging on the bars and moving from one horizontal bar to another. I rope way blocking my way but I was unable to turn back. So, I let go of my hand, but the neck area fall on the rope. Luckily the rope break). 

 Hello,

I am entering this discussion rather late, so I apologise if any of the information I offer is a repitition of what has been offered in previous posts. 

Reading over all your symptoms, it seems like a very exhausting list, but it's possible that it can be attributed to a few major traumas, that if isolated, can make you feel a lot better. 

I am particularly interested in your experience of being born. Jo Hainsworth (the author of 'You can Heal with EFT') also experienced a traumatic birth, from which she developed a number of unhelpful core beliefs. If you feel comfortable doing so, I would highly recommend working on this one first. You can use the Inner Child healing technique ( see innerchildwork on Youtube) to help you do so. 

The other event that particularly stands out at me was the death of your brother. At what age did this occur? Did you notice that your parents' attention was focused away from you at this point in your life? This would be extremely useful to explore.

You can google American Mental Health Association  to find their home page.If you click on the right hand link titled "Self-help", you will be able to listen to four audios that may help you understand your situation better. Basically, this psychologist proposes that if we are traumatised in early life, this leads to very specific problems later on. By paying attention to the types of problems you are displaying, you can determine at what age specifically the trauma occurred. 

 As for the skin problems, you may want to check out a pdf -by © 2006 by Caroline Markolin , entitled “TORN FROM MY SKIN”
Understanding skin disorders

It explains how skin problems come to be - most often, they are the result of a separation conflict. 

Hope this helps you. Take care, and take hope :-)

 Hi chim129,

 I need help in formulating a tapping script for me. I'm new to EFT and can't think up the script for the problem I want to tap.

 Remember you ask me about my brother's death and whether my parents attention was focus away from me? My brother was 8 then and I was 10. I don't remember the details whether my parents' attention focus away from me or not. I guess they did because they were searching everywhere including going to the capital city to find a cure for my brother. But, I don't think that's the cause because I don't remember minding it. I have my grandma, cousins and many relatives accompanying me. In fact, one of the cousins, I was very close with her. We were so close that I refused to continue organ class when I was 6 because she stopped, eventhough I enjoyrf the class very much. But, there was another issue that impact me very much in this event. I never get to see my brother one last time and it's actually my choice which I regreted until this day. When my parents came back from the capital city and brought the news of my brother's death, I didn't cry at first. Maybe I was shocked, I dunno one. But, I remember feeling 'why I didn't cry? I should cry' This only happen I think a few seconds. Then I started crying uncontrolably and you can say hysterically for my brother, wanting him to come back. It's not really for the sake of crying that I cry. I really cry because of my brother's death, really feel sad. After I calmed down. my parents asked me whether I want to go to the capital city to see my brother. I decided not to go and told them that I will very very sad when I see him. But, tit maybe the truth I don't know. But, the major reason is I want to stay back with my cousin. I don't know why I make that decision. But, I regreted it very quickly when my parents brought back my brother's ashes. This impacted me a lot knowing that I can never see his face one last time and I made that decision myself. I has a godmother who was a psychic. She said she can see my brother's soul coming back with the car. I really really regreted that decision until this day. But, I manage to forget about it or not let it bother me during my growing up years and through out my uni years. I did miss my brother everytime I go went to visit him (his ashes). I guess it still stick in the back of my mind since that's the detai I remember the most clear.

Another great regret of mine was not treating my grandma well during her last years. It's not that I treated her badly. I was a teenager during that time, during that age where I was easily irritated. Sometimes, I snapped at my grandma. I used to sleep with my grandma for a time. Then, I later went to sleep in the 2nd living room (it can double as a bedroom and very comfortable). When my grandma come and watch me while I was sleeping, I snapped at her, saying 'do you like it when someone watch you sleep?'. She replied 'I just want to see you'. When she died, I cried very loudly. I regretted treating her badly. This was  also a regret I carry until now.

 Said that's it's urgent because today while driving and thinking of the event and thinking of what to write to you, I became to dig up all this memories. When I reached my destination, I was unusually calm but calm until I scared I might do sometime silly (like killed myself) and won't stop myself. I quickly called my mom to pick me up from the place instead of driving back myself. I also willed my anxiety back. Now, I'm back as before. Feeling heat, sweating, still have the violent urge and have difficulty breathing once in a while. But, I know that I can control myself like I use to be. That calmness really scared me. During that calm time, I couldn't wait to email u/and post in the forum to ask you for the script and I was desperately needing to see a counselor at once. I was that worried.. Now even while typing this letter, I'm sweating and feeling numb. 

Please help. I really don't know what to say for my tapping.

Please, any other expert here. Can you help me too?

Can this few simple steps of EFT really help me cure my feeling of regret and guilt? Can EFT really help?

Death is difficult for us to deal with at any age, and especially as a child when those you rely on for support and comfort are also grieving themselves. You did what you could at the time, but probably didn't ever complete your grieving process for your brother. By managing to forget about it, you were doing the best you could to cope with a deeply distressing event. However, those feelings do need to be released at some time for you to feel healthy and well and able to release the anxiety that has been your protection from these buried feelings. The fact that it has come back to you now with such clarity probably shows that you are ready to do this healing now. Some part of you knows you have what you need to release the regret, guilt and grief at this time.

So, rather than trying to think of words or EFT scripts, you can use the Movie Technique to 'play through' the memory and tap all the time. You've already written a lot of it out in your post, so I would suggest that you read and re-read what you've written whilst tapping through all the points. If emotional intensity comes up, just pause reading at that point, and keep tapping until the emotional intensity goes down again.

 You could start by giving it a short and simple title like "The Missing My Brother Movie" and do some tapping using that as the setup phrase

Even though I have this "Missing My Brother Movie", I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and honour myself for how difficult that was for me then.

Even though I have this Missing My Brother Movie, I accept myself anyway without judgment and honour my desire to heal this now

Even though I have this Missing My Brother Movie, I love and accept myself with kindness and compassion

 Then tap the points saying the reminder phrase "Missing My Brother". Do several rounds and evaluate your emotional intensity as it reduces.

I recommend that you look at Jan Luther's web site and e-book Grief Is Mourning Sickness for some ideas about how you can release the underlying grief.

If you are going to do EFT for yourself, please know that you need to keep tapping and minimise your emotional intensity rather than diving into the middle of it, so that EFT will help you to release these traumas. Or you may choose to wait until you can do this work with someone else's support A good practitioner will have the ability to keep you safely out of retraumatising memories.

 I hope this helps and wish you deep healing.

Marian

I have another question. Can you tap on some event that you don't remember clearly but you think it did have some effect on you?

 You can tap on events you don't remember clearly, or even made up / imagined events. What matters is that you are working with the energy disruption in your body that is the cause of the unpleasant feelings.

 Hi, just to you guys an update.

 I haven't actually done much EFT, but, I've been reading about the it about and listening to the EFT World Summit and other self help book. I don't know why, but, my extreme anxiety have not appeared for quite some time, but, I still have mild fear/worry in many events. But, whenever I something came up that might trigger my axiety, I quickly thought of other things or try to convince myself that EFT will make it go away and try to stay happy.

 I still don't know what to tap first. But, I've tried tapping when a problem with my work made me extremely anxious and nearly want to cry. It did calm me down a lot, but, it's not lasting. When I thought I'm ok already and try to face the work problem a again, I feel stress again. I tapped for 

'even though I feel stressed out because I'm blank and can't find the solution to the problem, I deeply and complete love and accept myself'

'even though I feel stressed out because I feel inadequate and not knowledgeable enough for the job, I deeply and complete love and accept myself''

and variations of the above two phrase.

I got really stressed whenever I have to solve problem that is out of my control or when people have additional request/demand after I solve the problem for them. 

I haven't touched the memory regarding my brother after that time I wrote here. But, one thing is very strange. After that event I mention about being usually calm and stuff and I posted my post here, I went to a singing club the same night (my dad brought me there to de-stress) . My dad insist that I go up to stage to sing one song. I anticipated that I will shake all over like I did everythime I'm on stage. But, strangely, I didn't. I finish the whole song without shaking. At that time, I still haven't recovered much and still not totally calm yet and is till worried. I don't know why I didn't have stage fright anymore that time. I don't know what to make of this. But mom see it as a good improvement.She said because I read a lot about these pyschological stuff and eventhough I didn't really tap, it will still help a bit. I hope this is so and not me doing the 'disassociation' thing.

 I also haven't tap on my birth event. I don't know whether it would be too heavy to try that first. Should I tap 'eventhough I have too many things to tap and don't know which to start first ..'  and 'eventhough I don't dare to start because I'm afraid of doing it wrong and afraid of the consequences...' first?

 I'm also thinking of whether I should start with my sinus first since I've having it everyday lately. This sinus has been with me for around 15 years or more (can't remember properly) but seems to be worse these few years. It use to be not that frequent.

 I listen to 'The Secret Key to Success - Being Congruent' by Carol Look and 'Raising Your Personal Energy by Moving ip the Vibrational Scale' by Rick Wilkes yesterday and found that I really suit their description of being self sabotaging and incongruent. I can't make up my mind of what I really want to become and I'm scared of losing myself and my identity (a problem they said that what made people relapse after they made progress with EFT). I mean, I have been this way for years and decades. I don't know if I will like it if I become a new person. I' was introverted and a dreamer who enjoy reading and lost myself in book and imagination. I kinda the like being an introverted kind. I don't know if I can handle it if I suddenly became talkative, sociable, etc. I've done the Myers-Briggs personality test twice (which a separation period of a few years in between) before my emotional breakdown and both times it's INFP (the idealist healers). I didn't do the test now because I'm afraid it will not be accurate because I don't dare to imagine alot now due to my halluciation (not much of a dreamer idealist now) and I don't like being alone now.

Secondly, I'm afraid that my dad and mom will get worried if I do EFT and it get worse before getting better. My dad does not know about EFT much. I'm afraid if he sees me get worse, he might blame my mom or my mom will feel bad/guilty. It did happen after my condition got worse after my mom brought me to see the hypnotherapist (that period was very sad because both my dad and mom cried. I don't want that situation to repeat).  I don't. Maybe this is what called Psychological Reversal. Me giving myself all the reasons to delay the tapping.

hi, almost...every...useful...insight...that...comes
my...way...comes...via...the...lessons...i...recieve
from...the...people...that...come...to...me...looking
for...something!..And...1...such...person...was...someone
...vern...;ikes...to...remember...as...the...lady...with
...the...fear...of...hope...when...ever...she...experienced
...hope...it...made...her...scared...as...you...can...imagine
...i...was...very...puzzled!..any...way...to...cut...a...fairly
...long...story...short...this...is...what...we...both...learned
...about...hope...and...where...hope...comes...from...and...indeed
...where...it...goes?well,let...me...show...you...its...rather...
simple...really!.have...you...ever...said...to...yourself...or...
someone...else...that...you...would...do...something...and...then...
did... not?..what...if...every-time...you...keep...your...word...to...
someone...and...indeed...yourself...you...got...a...token... a...
 token...of... hope...and...every-time...you...do...not... keep...it...
you...lost...one?whatif?..think...about it!..you...could...trade...those...
tokens...in...for...Faith..what...if?..

peace&love...vern


p.s...yes...she...lost...her...fear!..it...only...came...back...on...
those...rare...occations...that...she...got...low...on...tokens...but...
she...knew...what...to...do...about...it...Now!

 Hi again,

I know it must feel really frustrating and hard for you right now - I've been there a couple of times. Hang in there, and trust me, things will get better. 

You are spot on - having identified a number of reasons why you may want to delay the tapping, the best thing you can do for yourself is tap on those reasons first. 

Even though my father and mother will get worried if I do EFT...

Even though I'm afraid things will get worse before they get better...

Even though my dad might blame my mum if I get worse before I get better...

Even though my mum will feel bad or guilty if I get worse before getting better...

Even though the last time I did anything like this, it ended up making my mum and dad cry...

Try not to just read the phrases, but rather to tune into the full extent of your emotions.

I think it is true to some extent, that when you understand your problem better, you may learn to dissociate from it more. Maybe this is why you have seen improvements in yourself even without tapping. 

 It's quite normal not to know where to start, and your idea of tapping on not knowing is great. Remember to tune into the emotion of not knowing. What does it feel like for you, and where do you feel it in your body? 

You're doing really well. Keep it up :-)

Thanks for your advice chim and vernpeace.

I have a question.

Can I do EFT when I'm sleepy and tired? I woke up around 2.30am yesterday night and started feeling frighten. I haven't been going to the center for 2 week to do service and I admit I feel a bit guilty and worried underneath. Maybe that's the cause of the fear. I can't remember clearly the thought that caused me fear (it always happen like that. I woke up in fear but couldn't remember the exact thought that caused the fear). I also notice that I'm slowly going back to the bad habit of sleeping late, not excising, eating junk food etc and that worries me, so, I actually tried to sleep early that night. I tried to tap the feeling away but don't dare to do too much because I don't know it's ok or not to do so when I'm sleepy. I tried to look for the sore spot but can't find the correct point, but, while I'm looking, I calm doing a bit. After that I decided to use the karate chop and tap only a few rounds, but, the fear didn't go away. After that short calm period, it has risen back to the original level. I got up and go out of the room to walk around. The moment I was up and standing or even sitting only, I was back to calmness and feeling positive. But, when I got back to bed, I feel anxious again. Because I was too tired, I just said 'eventhough feeling scared and worried, I totally and complete love and accept myself and choose to believe that I will feel free and good things will come to me'  without tapping. For 1 split second, I can really feel complete emotional freedom, but this got me worried/scared instead and I pull myself back to the original state. This is kinda a new teritory, so, I don't know how to handle it.

But, later, after talking to myself a lot, I started seeing lots of images. I said to myself 'good, that means I'm falling asleep'. But, then, I start to see imagine of flood etc and it got me worried, but, I continue to try to sleep, then I heard music blaring in my ears. That really scared me and I made myself wake up. I was afraid I got schizophrenia since I read that schizophrenic heard voices. I've never experienced this before. Before I sleep a tune was stuck in my head but that was different. It's in my head, but, this one I really heard it. This is the first time I experienced this. I was both awake in the dream state. I manage to sleeping later, but, very light. Woke up on and off and have many dreams but that the same experience as the that scary one. I'm still a bit anxious now that I'm typing. My mom said not to worry. I have just gone into a meditation state. She postulated that maybe I was in a karaoke room for 5 hours and this carried over to my sleep, thus, I heard blaring music. I don't know.

 I want to ask, what can I do if the same thing happen again?

 

 Hello,

EFT is designed for those times when you suddenly feel panicky, angry, or negative in general, so you can definitely do it when you feel tired, in order to calm you down. 

What you're going through sounds a lot like what I went through late last year - feeling fear all the time, not being able to sleep, and being paranoid about a lot of things. I also experienced brief moments of relief, but the feeling always returned. And I think that as long as the core issue is not resolved, the feeling remain with you.

I think your problems will come down to a few major issues, so when you're tapping, try to keep things simple, and discover what you really fear. I know you have a lot of fears, however, they can probably all be bunched into a few major branches - eg: fear of abandonment, fear of being left out, fear of loss, etc. etc. 

When you discover your core fear, tap on that and see if you can come up with specific events that caused the fear. I fee; this is the most effective way to go (discovering core beliefs and events), and I really believe that if you're successful in clearing out the negativity associated with those events, you will feel a lot, lot better. 

In the meantime, however, I think your main problem right now is not wanting to tap, so you should probably work on that first. Be patient, and you will eventually feel comfortable and secure enough to tap out the childhood events you've mentioned. 

Just in case. Where can I find a good EFT practitioner and therapist if I need one? For now, I'm going to try doing it myself first.