Hi all, just to contribute to the general scene, I'm a complementary therapist with more than twenty years' experience in transpersonal work and trauma healing (past lifetime therapy and holotropic breathwork etc.) before I came to EFT.  I sent in a report to the EFT Newsletter on 'Using EFT to negotiate with multiple personalities' which appeared 4/27/2007. 

This is about a woman I worked with, to calm her alters, and it was successful.  Within a month after the EFT work, her psychologist was able to achieve integration.  She now talks about the immense relief to have just one voice in her head -- 'me'. This had not happened before, she's in midlife. 

She decided to do some work with me after getting some healing on a back problem at one of my LEARN EFT basic workshops, and I did not know until later that she was DID.  After we had built some rapport, I dealt with several of her alters as though each was a troubled client, and they moved from various uncomfortable emotions to peace relatively quickly.  Along the way we were able to start defusing some childhood traumas too. She has written me a long list of life improvements that have followed, although there is ideally a lot more to do.  She uses EFT herself now, and I hear that her psychologist now wants to learn more EFT, although we have not spoken.

As she holds a responsible job and I had met her, it felt safe to gently introduce some peace.  It may not with some other people. And they may not feel safe with me. I met her in her reality and we worked there.

Another woman, younger with more severe DID, came for a session to check me out.  She brought her partner, and the session was mostly talking, until the partner agreed to do some EFT and see what happened.  The partner has transgender difficulties, and rapidly lost some anxieties through the EFT. This was like a demonstration for the possible client.  I am waiting to see if she follows up or not. 

And who is to say that this disorder doesn't have a psychospiritual component?  My experience suggests that it does, although we did not knowingly touch on that during the EFT work.  I'd be interested to hear from any other EFT practitioner with a transpersonal background.  And I love having forums, isn't it great --

 

 Hi Annie, Thanks for writing,  I was on holiday when your post appeared in the EFT newsletter, but I went back and read it with great interest.  My multiple friend (I guess I should make up a pseudonym for her), Dorinda is in so much turmoil and emotional pain now, as memories surface ...she can't hold down a job, she can barely look after herself, and has been admitted to a clinic temporarily.

Reading about your client's alters would sound like absolute craziness if I didn't personally have experience in getting to know several alters in one person.  I will pass on this info to her sister, who is diligently researching anything that could aid the process. 

Sherida,

I myself have been doing research lately on both DID and EFT.  EFT Master Lindsay Kenny has some good articles on EFT for "complex issues" and "serial traumas and abuses". Although these articles are not specifically about treating DID, I think they could be quite helpful. Lindsay mentions multiple personalities as being one type of complex issue and repeated abuse is clearly one of the main contributors to DID.

"Using EFT for complex issues (in this case - a difficult insomnia problem)"

 http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/complex-issues.htm

"Bundling Baggage Technique- Alleviating repetitive, impactful events at once"

http://www.lifecoachingwithlindsay.com/downloads/BundlingArticleFinal.doc

 

 

I

was encouraged to read your post about using EFT to help people with DID. I had hoped that EFT could speed the process of integration but had been cautious, as I said in a previous post, since it is also important for me to recover some early memories. My practitioner beleives DID has a strong psychospiritual component. As a person with DID I have experiential knowledge that this is absolutely true. Not only do my alters respond most readily to her parapsychological techniques but the point at which I began creating alters and that I added alters was always a point beyond physical and emotional pain. I am attempting to write my experiences from that perspective to help practitioners and the general public better understand how and why DID occurs, how and why alters are created and what kinds of tools can be most helpful to promote DID integration. Since I have a Masters in Counseling I hope to help others as well, when I am post-integration. Since DID is very much an energy disorder, I am learning EFT, Reiki and parapsychology techniques as a possible combination. Acupuncture during sessions helps because it balances the body energies. The humanistic aspects of therapy have also helped me very much because I was raised to beleive I wasn't human, or that I was barely human. Sincerely: Kriss

Hi Kriss,

 

I’m so glad you are writing your experiences as a DID person.  The material sounds invaluable to all of us. And I wish you a swift passage to greater healing.

I’m specially interested that you say you know that alters have spiritual validity.  I’d like to discuss one possibility in this realm, based on my twenty years as a past lifetime therapist and holotropic breathworker.

I have often wondered where alters are sourced.  Whether or not a person believes in reincarnation, it’s demonstrable that, with or without hypnosis, many many people can to their own amazement fairly easily contact at least one past lifetime ‘self’, or persona, and explore a lifetime in the past involving that ‘self’. We all seem to have many lifetimes, if we take such clinical experiences as anecdotal evidence. I’m not so interested in somehow trying to prove that any past ‘self’ actually lived historically, because for healing it doesn’t matter, although of course it’s possible and interesting.

 I’ve dealt with hundreds or more of these ‘selves’ of clients (and myself) for the purpose of healing something in their present lifetime -- even if it’s only ignorance of one’s own depths of consciousness as a human. 

My purposes have demonstrated that every past self I’ve worked with has some connection with current-life circumstances, and so specific healing inner work is done with the ‘self’ directly, that immediately improves some aspect of the present for the client. EFT works well as one method in this context -- also in relieving nervousness and fear of failure before regression therapy.

 (Working with past ‘selves’ is not a long distance from working to help alters feel more comfortable, so that they could be more amenable to integration, as has happened at least once after my EFT work.  In my small experience of DID, alters are not happy.)

So, I’ve wondered if at least some alters are sourced in consciousness from such past lifetime ‘selves’, stripped down to their personal characteristics, in order to be of use in crisis now.

It seems logical that if I were in a DID state, I would draw on what is already in my consciousness (whether or not I was consciously aware of past lifetime relevance) rather than, say, draw in some outside energy to become an alter.  If I were to invent some personae to be alters, or if they spontaneously appeared in my awareness from somewhere unknown, my inventions themselves could easily be drawing on deeper human templates I am bonded with interiorly,  possibly from other-life contexts.

I guess asking them would not throw any light on this possibility, as if they’re stripped of historical context, they wouldn’t remember it.  But we don’t know, even if they said no.

If there is any truth to this idea, then it seems to me each alter might come with a set of particular values or ‘writing on their walls’ from a life experience in different historical times, that is inherent to their attitudes within the DID person’s awareness.  This may or may not be helpful at the beginning of the 21^st century –

Where such an alter creates dangerous or inhibiting behaviour, or behaviour that later embarrasses the person,  perhaps one way to go might be to gently try EFT to neutralize that alter’s feelings and attitudes, which may have originated in experience in a lifetime in the past, if the alter is willing  --  The hope being, that a peaceful healed alter will improve the whole scene.  If an alter is blocked because of similar or interlocking past trauma, could that doubly block the person’s memories that need to be healed?

Anyway, do you have any thoughts on all this?   Is this line of enquiry rubbish in your view, or what?  Regards, Annie

 

 

Dear Annie: Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. My focus since being diagnosed with DID over a year ago has been to buidl bridges between myself and others with DID and also to others like yourself with such wonderful work experience with people with DID. You made several interesting points regarding DID and past lives. First, I certainly agree that most of my DID personalities are very unhappy--that's an understatement, actually! Second, some of them are definitely tied to past lifetimes, though I agree that it is less important to tie each part to a specific identity in the past than to identify the emotional energy. What I did as a child was twofold. I began breaking off bits of my own life energy that were too painful for me to handle while in the womb. The first personality I remember creating was the 'Wax Child' which developmentally is at about 5 months in the womb. Another aspect of my youngest and most damaged parts is the extremely primitive nature of their emotions, at an instinctual level. When a trigger appears, I have literally gone in seconds from discussing complex issues to snarling and speaking in baby talk. At those times I literally shred myself inside, in an effort to not harm anyone else. Though words do fly out with more force than is necessary. It has been helpful for me to identify the triggers, energies and images that happen when my energy shifts. It has also been helpful for me to deeply believe that the emotions I feel are real, the images are real and that the things I saw as a young child were severe enough to turn my energy inside myself with extreme force. For instance, at times when I have allowed myself to be pushed past healthy boundary limits for an extended period of time, I will finally say, "enough!" by shouting how unfair the situation is. I am learning to set better boundaries from the beginning of course and to name how I feel so I can release my trapped energies in healthier ways. I can see how EFT could do that and am learning to do EFT on myself for repressed energy. I see it as working in a similar way to the acupuncture my therapist uses during our sessions, to balance my energy and help it flow more freely. What has been extremely helpful to me is that my therapist has acted as a medium to help me uncover memories I have blocked. Each memory recovered has helped me to relax and feel more 'myself' which has strengthened the damaged inner parts. I see that hypnosis would also work in that area, and have read many DID stories where hypnisis has been very helpful. My therapist has also helped me by modeling compassion for my most damaged parts, where I had learned contempt or denial since they were in so much pain and I had transferred my pain to them so much that the detached energy seemed to *be* the problem. I hope you can see that I don't think your ideas are rubbish at all! I am so grateful that you and others have dedicated so many years to helping those with DID and understanding what it's like to live with a dissociative disorder. I believe there is an e-mail tag on the forum board. If you would like to e-mail me please feel free to do so. Sincerely: Kriss

Hi Annie

I found your old post from 2007 whilst researching DID. 

I have a client who has DID and I've treated her four times to date and its ongoing as she has stopped seeing her psychologist to concentrate on EFT.  She feels that after just the first session with me she felt better than after two year of normal therapy. 

Just to clarify I am an experinced EFT practitioner but not trained in any medical or psychological way.  I've asked for advice a couple of times from the professinals forum but I'm still wanting further advice about surrogate tapping with DID alters. 

The situation is this:  In the early hours of the morning I was woken by a phone call from one of my client's alters.  It was one I had only met once and only tapped with once and it was quite challenging to get her to tap face to face. 

On the phone she was very upset and after trying I soon realised she could not tap with me.  I decided to surrogate tap but in reality I was busy listening and also trying to calm her down and talk her out of doing what she wanted to do, so I was tapping on myself only with no set up and no words or even thoughts at each point - just tapping as I listened and spoke.  The outcome was favourable but I was unsure if this was the EFT or not. 

Earlier this week I went to see her for our appointment and three alters came out, none of which I could either tap on or get to tap with me for various reasons.  Once again I had to tap surrogately on myself whilst only listening and talking, not saying any statements.   You will know with your experience that often its impossible to say statements when tapping on yourself as its a full time job just calming the alter down.  You seem like an expert in this, can you advise me if I need to be doing anything else? 

How have you dealt with alters you simply cannot tap with?  Any advice gratefully received.  Its a huge responsibility being this lady's "therapist" and also one of very few people she/they trust.  I don't take that lightly.

Love Karen

Hi Karen:

I'm not Annie but hope I may have a bit of insight for you.

First, let me applaud you for the depth of your commitment in caring for your DID clients.

Most therapists in the US don't get the idea at all that the usual boundaries of no phone calls in the middle of the night and no contact between sessions cut off large parts of a DID person's system.

For example, I also have parts who don't talk face to face. Some can only speak through written word. Some are awake when others are asleep. The main issue in recovering from DID is to be able to access all parts.

The main challenge to healing is to find one skilled person who will hear how and when the DID person needs. A secondary issue is the building of healthy boundaries, but this needs to be done with finesse and understanding, not with the sense that by not adhering to strict clinical boundaries, the DID person is once again at fault.

The good news is that even though you felt some pretty wild energy, it was a good sign that your client called you. For a person who has lived their whole live without being able to trust anyone enough to call them in the middle of the night, that is a wonderful first step.

What needs to happen is for the connection between you, the alter or alters who don't speak face to face and the main person (client) needs to become stable enough so that the alter or alters who don't speak face to face can believe it is real.

Once the client believes in the relationship, boundaries can be set from the perspective of the client's own good, not as a wall between you, so that you can gradually help the alters to feel safe in a therapeutic setting. I don't know how to state this clearly enough--the main issue in DID is the inability to trust another human being to the point where each and every alter is able to believe in the relationship enough to share the stored memories and allow the trapped energies to be released.

This release can come through EFT, Reiki, intuitive counseling, and many other therapeutic means. The underlying issue is the ability of each alter of the DID person to believe in the counseling relationship. Regarding the alters who did not want to tap--remember the basics of EFT. Tapping is a way to reestablish a connection by stimulating the meridians in the body.

As an experienced EFT practitioner, you undoubtedly know how to create meaningful statements to put with the EFT to help the client. Perhaps this, more than the tapping, is what your client is able to be helped by.

Also, in clients who have survived severe abuse that began at an early age, there may be a reversal that says that any energy that attempts to enter specific alters must be turned away. I wish I had more clarification on that last one, as that is where I am stuck. I believe though that these parts need a archetypal approach.

Universal truths, unconditional love, the Universal Mother and/or Father archetype can be very useful. Be clear without any judgement that you are speaking as a Universal mother or father, that you cannot take the place of the parent figures. Help the client to reattach to the Universal energy. Sometimes that is all that will get through. That is the ultimate goal, though, isn't it? To get through. Love & Light: Kriss

Karin

I have this experience a few times with DID clients I am privileged to work with (and thanks for resurrecting the thread) and it was actually Kriss herself who finally helped me understand this.

When I realised the importance in DID of letting the alters talk, and I am the one who taps, for them, for me, and often in co concious experience the adult can tap whilst listening to the alters story, this is where rapport really happens.  Sometimes these parts view the tapping as being shut up or they fear we are trying to make them disappear.

It is a very, very important part of DID work, and I have been criticised for saying this by other practitioners, who believe listening is giving attention, although I am never just listening, I always tap to hold the space for us all,  so I am glad you had the same experience.  As a person who has experienced DID symptoms I know the value of a safe practitioner, goodness knows its taken me years to find one.  I believed in EFT, its been hard to find EFT therapists with the level of understanding of the defence mechanisms of profound childhood trauma and who do not even subconciously fear it.

That being said its almost impossible to get it right. With that level of distrust going on, you will mess up.  The most important thing to remember is you WILL get it wrong.  I get told off quite alot.  Sorry is a very helpful word.  I made a mistake, I didn't realise it was you, you sound alot like 14 or whatever name the alter has. 

I see my role as being the go between between the alters and the person.  Many times people with DID (I include myself here) are actually more terrified of themselves than anyone else.  And deeply ashamed.  Helping them to understand the value of their condition, its a profoundly spiritual and creative way to survive trauma, is wonderful.  

A couple of my clients have now bought notebooks for their alters and they tap as the alters write their story.  Way before integration communication and cooperation is the goal.  When they know they will be heard without judgement, and that is such a big deal.  I don't judge, but sometimes the alters judge themselves and each other.  Hearing them starting to work together and accept themselves is just beautiful.  Sometimes they report that integration has happened in the week between sessions, quite naturally but thats usually after a period of hanging out together!  Many like to paint, play, sew, go shopping, go for icecream, just allow their alter to enjoy life.

They find EFT to be very beneficial and I have only had a couple of stormy hanging on by my fingernails sessions such as you experienced.  Once you understand whats going on its no problem. 

I never say I understand, they don't even believe other parts of them understand sometimes, the experience is so shut off and isolated, so I assure them I don't understand but I do understand lonliness and that I also understand the feeling no one else understands, and that I am willing to listen to anything they would like to share.  Sometimes with the younger ones I teach them tapping, that part has genuinely no idea what is going on, others are in the background watching and when they see its working for some they are willing to try it.  Some parts trust, some parts don't trust.  I just do whatever it takes if the majority do trust and the choice is made to work with me, to win the trust.

This is the most exciting rewarding work I have ever done.

Where there is a challenge is working with clients I suspect have dissociation problems is when they have no idea themselves, although that sometimes comes in time, but in the most part the diagnosis itself is a trauma for people.  The label feels like a life sentence and not one people react well too in general.  There is so much stigma involved.  I read that one in 8 people would move house if they knew their neighbour was mentally ill.I actually suspect many therapists are working with dissociated clients and having to give up in frustration.  I hope I can change that some.

www.strangerinthemirror.com is very helpful, I am not sure if I suggested this to you before.  I speak about my own experience in my audio.  This might be interesting to you.

My own experience I must add though is nowhere as profound as someone who has suffered Ritual Abuse or even indeed the kinds of abuse my clients suffered, however, I do know enough of the shame, the fear, the horror, and the difficulties involved to help make a difference.  It is a long process and you may find you are coming back to things again and again so I would say that you need to know your making a commitment.  One thing my clients need to know is I am committed.  They can choose to leave, I will not! 

Gill

Hi Kriss,

I never said hi to you before, but I do want to thank you very much for your many posts on DID, and I've learnt a lot. I read once, I think it was you that wrote it, that a person's personality can be compared to a window, and sometimes, although the window is still in the frame, the window can be cracked. When this is the case, the person feels themselves as two (or more) separate personalities, with no connection between them. (please excuse me if I have misunderstood the image I thought you were describing).

I found this metaphor very striking, and today, reading your post, I had some further thoughts about it. Firstly, that many people who don't have quite DID, might nevertheless have (or feel they have) damaged areas in their 'windows', so that their window didn't quite crack but there's an area of weakness that separates one part from the other. As a result, when a memory or an association or a trigger or another trauma happens, the person might move from one main state, to the other state. They may be generally a calm happy and resourceful person, but when something happens they go over to the other state, where they get anxious, worried, self centered, withdrawn, etc, and which it is very hard for them to get out. The state that is. It's hard for them to get out of the unresourceful state. But perhaps it's because we're trying to exile that part of the personality, that part of the window, because we don't like the state that it represents. All clingy and whiny.

Instead, we could say that its not the state that's at fault, it's just the fact that it's not integrated with the rest of the window that's so troubling and causes spirals of dissatisfaction. It's that crack line in the window that separating the two parts that makes each part so distressing to the other.

So the question is if it is possible to heal the crack, or rejoin it. And I would suggest that possibly one would first need to acknowledge that one may want to keep the crack, because it represents safety. It is a safe dividing line, keeping at least a part of the person "safe". Also, if the trauma were ever to happen again, it's likely to be in the same area, no? So, perhaps it's worth just holding on to the original trauma, just in case. So that one might be a little more aware or prepared the next time.

Obviously, there's other beliefs holding that crack in place. The inability to believe that one can ever leave it behind. It feels more normal to keep it, because one has had it for so long. It represents safety (although possibly other things to a better job of actualizing safety, in other aspects). It's a fulcrum, a pivot, and a lens, from which one knows how to understand and handle other experiences. It's dangerous to address it (because "they" wouldn't like it). The despairing feeling that it's too late, the problem is too big, or it's never been done before. Taking on other people's beliefs that evil must be endured, but cannot be cured. Also, if an alter is very young, it doesn't know how to manage human responsibilities or relationships, even easy ones. It's easier for it to use it's coping strategies that might have worked in the past (anger, manic, depression).

Kriss' method of building bridges with other people and Gill's reiteration of offering compassionate support are really the best things we can offer ourselves, not only because the friends and supporters can help the person when a split personality part takes over. Even more, these methods help because they model to the other personality parts how much one believes in building bridges, and in integration.

So that's one of the keys that I think can help the person, modelling. I think that when the main personality part is able to herself try to live with compassion, and integrity, exercise, and assertiveness, she is doing so much to help ALL of her alters heal.

Because, as described in the posts above, the alters often do not trust others. And Gill said it's often mainly that they don't trust the main personality part. But when that main personality part makes an active effort to be (not just be seen as) honest, seeking help but only in a professional, fair way, and compassionate and trusting also to people who one feels initially nervous with (for no good reason, like people who look wierd, or might be labelled mentally ill) then perhaps the alter would trust her, and the rest of the safe world, more. Then perhaps the warmth of that might dissolve the cracks and help the window to become whole again. Because glass can be melted down and reblown, so perhaps even that crack in the glass is potentially not there.

Side note: being honest, is a very hard thing, because there is such a thing as using honesty incorrectly. If one is striving for perfect honesty, it might be incongruous with one's other values. One should think through all of one's values, preferably with guidance, and decide what to do when the values conflict. 

Hi Rachel: Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I like how you used the cracked window analogy, though my example was different in that I had wished there was a way to show people, back before I had the help and tools to begin to heal, that my psyche wasn't just cracked--it was shattered, as if it was a window dropped from a great height. I liked what you said about glass being able to be reformed. I think that's why I thought of a window, besides the idea that glass is brittle. Part of the difficulty in healing from DID is that there has been no one to model what being human is. The main self tries and does its best to learn, yes. But there is deep knowledge and deep beliefs that no one knows, really, how to be safe in this life. I have found a way, though, to begin to communicate with the most damaged parts. Many of them see--and this is blunt but this is part of the defense mechanisms and also shows how extreme those defenses had to be when they were create==anyway, many of the most damaged parts believe that if things get bad enough, that they have not only the right but the responsibility to end their lives. I hope this doesn't sound shocking, because actually in this element is the hope for areas that are able to resist any outside energies. While that ability to resist has been lifesaving in the past (and since many of these parts are very young, as Rachel mentioned they would be very black and white in their thinking so would feel safer not dealing with relational situations), once the crisis is past, resisting outside help and/or energies is detrimental because it doesn't teach the difference between healthy, safe relationships and dangerous ones, and because it limits the person to that closed in crack of existence that is painful and damaged. So, there are three things to remember when dealing with the core issues of DID: 1) The idea that the main personality is able to handle things, and when a person suddenly becomes panicky, they need to be reminded that they can come back and that it is safe to come back 2) The idea that the support person must not take personally the DID person's slipping into a panicked, manic, depressed, etc. state. Their constant, gentle, pervasive energy will melt the crack if the DID person is given enough time to believe it is real (as Rachel said, even virtues like honesty and compassion can be used incorrectly and many people with DID know this all too well, so will test and retest even the purest of intentions) 3) This is the key I alluded to above--the idea that the DID person *could* choose the ultimate ending needs to be respected. Not encouraged, by any means. But calmly respected and more than that--looked at head-on without flinching, without recoil, without judgement. This is crucial, and fits into the basic idea behind EFT of total acceptance--**The part of the DID person that feels it has the right or responsibility to take the ultimate out if the system is threatened strongly enough must be totally accepted.*** No more, no less. This will *not* produce more of a desire to go that ultimate distance. Quite the opposite--this total acceptance and the ability to calmly look death in the face is the only thing that will reach the most damaged parts, nearest to the core. This is also why a technique like EFT will not reach these parts without first building the relationship to that ultimate level. It is also helpful for the support person to realize that when this part comes to light and when the support person is allowed to see that there are parts who feel they have the right to an ultimate way out of pain, that is a most sacred moment of intimacy that because of societal programming and also possibly fear from the support person, may be totally misconstrued. Please let me be clear here--if the support person is able to look death in the eye and accept it, that ring of tension will collapse. If the support person recoils, lectures, or tries to guilt the person sharing this, that will reinforce the belief that the ultimate out is necessary. Do you see? This is the core of what I have been searching for since I stopped seeing my most recent therapist last November. Do you also see the potential here? That once the support person has the trust of these most delicate parts, that *then* those parts might be willing to allow energies of EFT or other healing techniques to enter their space and reconfigure their beliefs. This is so important--I hope you can see what I mean. This fills the hole where EFT and other energetic means were not able to get in. This acceptance of the ultimate sacrifice, of seeing the extreme courage and bravery of these parts who were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice if necessary to save the system and also the belief that says that the parts would go to that ultimate place rather than become abusers themselves, needs to be validated and honored. And then the energy around it can relax. Please let me know if you understand what I am saying. People on this board have been so helpful, patient, sincere, pervasive--moreso than any other group of energetic healers I have encountered. It has been discussions like this combined with energetic means I have used on my own that have helped me to understand this. It is crucial for the most damaged people to know that their support people will go to this point with them. I know many support people have done so much, way above and beyond the call of duty. When all the person really needed was a calm, clear, strong presence of acceptance. This is a breakthrough. Please let me know if you understand. Love & Light: Kriss

UPDATED

Hi Kriss,

I understand what you have so eloquently written (you should get it published). I agree with parts of it, although not everything.

Rachel

Thank you, Rachel! I copied and printed what I wrote to add to several projects on DID that I am working on. Thank you for your understanding and support. :-) Love & Light: Kriss

 hi, its...a...hard...pill...to...swallow...but...vern...has...

found...defragmentation...a...matter...of...finding...some...

principles...with...value...rather...than...values...or...beliefs...

with...no...principles!..you...see...values...and...beliefs...can...

be...shattered...because...their...just...opinions...at...the...end...

of...the...day...yet...principles...are...timeless!...strange...however...

true!

 peace&love...vern

Kriss

For some reason I missed this, its wonderful and it really helps.

Thank you so much.

 

Gill