Carers/caregiving Discussion Group

Caregiving Job Anxiety

RebeccaJ — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 04:16:52 GMT

I'm currently working as a caregiver for a woman who is very controlling and argumentative. It's causing me a LOT of anxiety, but I feel I'm not in a position to quit the job because off finances. From the beginning she made it clear she didn't want me there, but her family feels she can't be alone. It bothers me so much because I know I'm not appreciated and she's resenting every penny she has to pay me.

I've tried tapping on the anxiety, and it helped a little, but not much. I also tapped on unworthiness because she made a statement along the lines of "this is not worth what I'm paying you," and that's when my anxiety really kicked in. Again, it only helped a little. I'm replaying negative comments she's made in my head and I hate that I'm doing this.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

THANK YOU for your kindness to respond from Rosemarie

Rosemarie — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 02:19:21 GMT

I have received 4 beautiful responses about my issue of being a surrogate for my husband with ADHD.

It seems wonderful just to have the support I have long sought. I feel blessed that you have taken time from your busy lives to offer your help.

I feel like I have found a family of sorts. I am very grateful. I have felt so alone through all of this chaos, like no one cared or understood my pain and helplessness. Wondering how I could get through one more day..........

I think I should be tapping my life away......thank God I have found this wonderful tool to get me through my life and hopefully be an inspiration to others who need to find an answer some day.

With Deepest Gratitude,

Rosemarie

Helping my husband with ADHD as a surrogate with permission

Rosemarie — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 23:53:54 GMT

I want to help my husband who has severe ADHD. His condition is causing much tension in the household. He is willing for me to be his surrogate. He just won't do it regularly. There will always be a distraction. I am committed to make our relationship work. I have been a loyal caregiver for many years, but I am very discouraged about my house always being disorderly and his multiple projects and promises to clean up.

I need to know what verbiage to use and should I do this on myself or something like a stuffed animal?

Please help soon.

how can I find a wonderful job with EFT?

pofuduk — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 19:32:58 GMT

Hoqw can I create a new career with EFT?What do you think?

hello

Anonymous — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 05:47:16 GMT

I need some help and advice..

Curtis2011 — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 05:50:23 GMT

Hey there, Curtis here...

Lately I have been experimenting with the "personal peace procedure" with some success.

I was wondering if there is any particular method that you find works best for you, if there is any particular method of visualizing your problems or things that you want to manifest into your life. Is there any specific thing that you have DONE and gotten powerful results?

Please help me out and share your EFT technique with me.

EFT Support group for Combat Veterans and their families

Ingrid — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 21:03:24 GMT

Hi there,

Several Veterans that I have worked with expressed the wish and need to connect with other Vets who know EFT or want to learn more about it. This is a very caring and insightful community, and I feel that it is important to support this need.

The same is true for the family members that Ihave worked with: The wives, parents and children.

Several of them wish to connect with others who know EFT and build their own community. So if you know any Veterans or family members of Veterans who would like to talk or email with others who have experienced EFT, just let me know and I’d be glad to connect you.ThanksIngrid

ongoing situations

fingertapper — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 04:05:32 GMT

I am finding it difficult to use EFT in my ongoing caregiving situation. I think it's because the results are less tangible as the situation itself doesn't change. Nonetheless, I have found myself back in anxiety mode and I have come once more to seek some guidance. I'm caregiver to my very disabled hubby. We've just been bombarded with many many changes, most of them for the better and at least one with an unkown outcome. I've been hit with anxiety in a big way. I have a hard time breathing and I'm on the verge of tears at the most inopportune times. I also get brain fog and I can't focus on what I have to do, which in itself creates more anxiety. For me, a really big problem is that I can't concentrate to enough to find something to tap on. When I have anxiety feelings, I can't bring myself to focus in on the problem and in fact want to be far far removed from the problem. It is also diffficult to think about tapping on a daily basis. As a caregiver, my day (life) is so full of problems, that it is counterintuitive to tap say in the evening before bed. It's also one more thing to put on the to do list too. But, like I said before, here I am with in my face anxiety and not able to function well again. I really haven't seen many examples in the newsletter or on the DVD's about being a caregiver in a chronic situation. I should probably also read on the anxiety forum too. Any thoughts are welcome.

OPENING THE CLOWN CHAKRA ~ by Tom Marusso a fellow EFTer

Sylvia S Ross — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 02:49:14 GMT

Hi!

I just wanted to share this written by a friend. It made me smile, I would just add one change or addition where it states "if you think someone is attacking you, or your self-talk is". As carers & care-givers our lives can get extremely serious & heavy. Check out Laughter Yoga!

Blessings,

Sylvia

Opening The Clown Chakra

Reprinted with Permission

Recently, scientists have found that all our problems can
be placed under one heading: Seriousness.

Seriousness is the leading cause of disharmony.

Scientists from the Clown Academy have already discovered a
new source of healing.

It is a psychic energy point located between the Heart
Energy Center (Chakra) and the Throat Energy Center (Chakra).

It is called the "Clown Chakra."

If people are feeling miserable; if they have financial
problems; if their relationships are in the pits; if they are
in ill health; if they have a need to sue people; if they find
fault with another; then their Clown Chakra is imbalanced.

When this happens, scientists have observed under high-powered
microscopes that the cells of every organ display a sad face;
and when the Clown Chakra is open and functioning normally,
the cells display a happy face.

Who knew!

If a person is ill, it is because the mind has projected
guilt or shame onto the cells of the body and has forced out
the love that is normally found within the body.

The cells are therefore saying, "I Lack Love", or "ILL" for
short.

Scientists also recently discovered that all disease is due
to the fact that the cells are "out of ease" or "dis-eased."

When the Clown Chakra is opened and "playing" properly, the
psychic mechanism sucks up misery, pain, anger, resentment,
all grievances, unhappiness and so on, and then converts this
negative and imbalanced energy into tiny red heart-shaped
balloons.

The Red Heart Balloons contain God's Love and Joy. These
balloons are directed to the "dis-eased" cell or situation,
and a happy face instantly appears.

When the light enters the darkness, the darkness is gone.

Sometimes these Red Heart Balloons, called endorphins, are
due to the fact that when anyone experiences them the feeling
of separation ends - they experience being back home with the
divine and hence are no longer an orphan.

This is the well known "end orphan" (endorphin) effect.

So if you think someone is attacking you, it is recommended
that you visualize sending that person Red Heart Shaped Balloons
filled with God's Love and Joy.

Remember to keep your Clown Chakra open, you must remember
to laugh - seriousness also causes reincarnation!

And you thought all this spirituality stuff wasn't supposed
to be fun! (c)2008
-Tom
p.s. Look for my new book this summer: "The Manuscript -
Awakening into Oneness."
BornToManifest.com

Thomas Michael Murasso Ent.
4140 Clemmons Rd #218
Clemmons NC 27012
United States

Carers/Caregivers Forum

EFTSpain — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 10:03:17 GMT

Hi everyone,

I would welcome comments on the EFT Carers/Caregivers Forum if we as a Community feel it is of service or benefits many ?

On a personal note, and being offered the chance as a Co Moderator to help the Forum, the useage is quite disappointing.

Some of my own thoughts are that the Carer/Caregiver is so unselfish in nature, that looking in on our Forums for assisatnce may not be for themself but for the persoan they are caring for and this is why the postings are so minimum.

Gary and Eric have very generously allowed our Community this facility but I wonder if it would be better replaced with a different Forum where more people would use it.

Love to hear your thoughts?

Warmest wishes,

Marie

Carers'/Caregivers' Health

EFTSpain — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:38:33 GMT

Hi everyone,

I was reading an article about a recent survey on Carers' Health in a magazine.

Apparently, three quarters of Carers/Caregivers health is worse as a result of caring. This was a survey carried out for Carers Week

95 % covered up or ignored the fact that they were feeling ill in order to continue the caring role.

Some suggestions are made that because the carers ' health is equally as important both physically and mentally, that if it is difficult getting to the doctors surgery, a phone consultation with your doctor may be available in some surgeries. Also if the consultation helps, you may not need face to face consultation.

Also if the Carer/Caregiver is feeling stressed that the doctor may be able to offer advice or practical solutions via a telephone consulation.

This was a UK survey and it started me wondering what else if anything is available for Carers/Caregivers as an option to attending the surgery?

Has anyone heard or experienced any other options and in what country?

The survey also stressed that it was important to try to get out of the house even for just a walk, shopping, a hobby, at least once a week and also importantly, keep up with regular blood pressure checks, mammograms, smear tests, cholesterol, etc which could prevent serious problems developing later on.

Warmest wishes,

Marie

Caring for carers

Gill Wightman — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 20:40:48 GMT

I am sad to see this corner of the forum is not being used so much as I know that carers are among the population of the world who need EFT more than anything I could think off!

I was asked this week to write of my experiences of caring for my parents with early onset dementia for someone.

I find having done so I am wracked with grief. I lost my Uncle 6 weeks ago unexpectedly, he was nearly my last role although I am still caring for my grandad but I think I threw myself into the EFT exam to escape from the horrible hole it left in my life.

Caring consumed me and I am bereft without it and grieve the lost opportunities. I am not scared though, I know I have a support system and EFT to help me through this dark time and helping others always helps me too.

I just wanted to share this in this corner and try to keep it alive! I am sad its limping along, just like I know any carers who read this are.

Gill

question

Hansito — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:27:36 GMT

Does anyone know what address to use if i want to send a money order to order the videos from Gary?

Thank you

The Caregiver's Manual

Sangeeta — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 08:39:45 GMT

Hello everyone,

Based on my many years experience as a caregiver, I have written two books for chronic disease management - "It's Your Life - A Practical Handbook for Chronic Ailments" and "The Caregiver's Manual". These are freely available at my website - www.soulspeakindia.com . While these books were written before I started practising EFT, the highlighted topics may provide good guidance for issues that the patient and caregiver would need tapping on.

Frequently, both are exhausted. Daily tapping, on a few of the issues listed in these books, could be done without taking too much trouble in identifying the problems.

I would be happy to help anyone with framing their setups, if so required.

I notice that while there are frequently a large number of viewers on the forums and subscribers to the EFT newsletter, a relatively less number of people appear to post on these boards. I would like to urge anyone reading this to actively participate and avail of the great support that is available in these forums. You can retain your anonymity and yet find people who are or have been in similar situations. Such interaction may provide invaluable guidance that can bring about a significant improvement in your wellbeing.

Best Wishes,

Sangeeta

Thanks from me too!

healthyjourney — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 22:42:59 GMT

Hi, I am Diana, I am the primary caregiver for my husband who has FTD (dementia) and my son who is high functioning autism. I have used EFT on myself for years but did not think/dare to use it on my son or my husband until Gill, suggested it for my caregiving situation (Thanks and Hi Gill) I am still very much learning and am thrilled that this forum is here so that I can learn more from those much more experianced.

Thanks,

Diana C

Exclusion from Society

EFTSpain — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 18:23:49 GMT

Hi everyone,

I have just been reading something about Carers and saw this heading in the article?

Exclusion from society.

Instantly, I thought ' yes' is the answer to that one !

Can't get out to shop, appointments, socialise
Go out for a walk or exercise
Go out to work
Haven't got a life

The list probably goes on.

Quite often the one we are caring from is excluded by their illness , so the combination is like a whole little world ..an exclusion zone.

Waiting for friends or family to arrive and take over, only so long to be away from the role .. no wonder the carer has issues with stress, anger, resentment, guilt, feeling isolated and alone.

Has anyone any views to share ?

Any solutions, suggestions or ideas to a seemingly impossible role ?

Warmest wishes,

Marie

Carer/caregiving in Hospitals In Spain

EFTSpain — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 20:44:23 GMT

Hi everyone,

I have just finished a reply to Deborah on the posting Caregiving and Animals which strangely enough has taken us into this new thread.

Briefly, I mentioned that in Spain, patients in many of the hospitals are cared for by their relatives, in respect of feeding, changing dressings, family sleeping in, mainly in reclining chairs etc.

For the huge ex pat communtiy living in Spain, they end up, often the elderly, caring for a husband, wife in a hospital environment under great stress, possibly not speaking the language..and may not drive, may not be well themselves.

Or, worse still, they are alone and have no one.

Used to the hospital system in UK, where everyone is cared for and needs met by the nursing staff, the Carer/Caregiving role is not a ' role' as such as say compared to Spain.

This was a side of caring I had overlooked on a personal note and wondered what happens in other countries?

Warmest wishes,

Marie

The importance of clearing our own emotions in a care relationship

Gill Wightman — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 20:03:09 GMT

Thinking about what I wrote earlier today, particularly the statement I made that I was sick of the angry reactions of my LO's prompted me to do some thinking and tapping on this.

I would like to share this experience here as it is highly relevant for all care givers.

My mother towards the end of her life did not tolerate my visits well, she would while she could still walk try to get away from me. Visits became a heartbreak and I felt rejected and upset because I had done so much to help her and she didn't treat anyone else like this which visitors and nursing home staff it seemed to me insisted on rubbing in. I stood in the hallway of the nursing home watching her scuttle away from me thinking I HATE YOU!

I then found I was becoming angry with everyone else, my husband and boys especially, over nothing. My doctor explained to me that mum would pick up on my emotions and she would understand them and I would be frightening her. He advised me to stop visiting for a while. However I had my secret weapon EFT, so this was an unacceptable and unecessary suggestion, I just needed to get myself in gear and sort myself out! I booked a telephone session with a therapist in US that I felt drawn to do this with and I was stunned to find the full force of my feelings.

I had to tap on

"Even though I am so angry you are leaving me......"

"Even though I need more time....."

"Even though I have don't know what to do without you....."

"Even though I feel abandoned....."

"Even though I am so lonely with you...."

"Even though I NEED you, who's going to show me the way......"

"Even though this is not fair......."

"Even though I HATE that this is happening....."

and a few other things along those lines.

By the end of the session I felt much more able to cope with mums behaviour and was more open to positive memories of her love.

After tapping on all my feelings of grief, anger, resentment, lonliness and injustice I felt very relaxed about letting what would happen happen. I went to visit her and she was in bed. I sat beside her and gently tapped round her face and fingers telling her I loved her and she was going to be ok and I was going to be ok. She smiled at me and started to say I love you, I love you, I love you. I was stunned as she had not communicated at all verbally for over 6 weeks and didn't want to get my hopes up to much. I convinced myself she was copying me but that was good enough. I was told by someone to tap on that thought)

Two days later I visited with my sister and she started to say it to us both as soon as we entered the room. It was wonderful. We then gave her our permission to go if she needed to in peace and within 2 weeks she died, in our arms in a room full of love and peace. My sister lifted her head from mum after her last breathe and said 'That was the most beautiful experience of my life!" and I had to agree it was certainly one of mine.

Without EFT I do not think we would have had this magical experience which has gone along way to heal the hurt and pain we have experienced.

I am aware that because my grandfather is telling me he wants to die and will be dead by the end of winter I am angry with him and frightened. I am tapping for that and to gain the courage to give him permission to go if thats what he needs to do. I think he wants to be with his wife and child. If I am not angry with him he will not be reacting to my stress which I think is what might be happening right now!

With love

Gill

brain cancer

majicat — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 21:29:56 GMT

Hi Everyone!

I am a caregiver. I am taking care of this wonderful lady who has stage 4 brain cancer. She is also deaf. We communicate by writing notes, but I'm also learning some basic sign language. She is a fighter. At times she has extreme pain in her back. She also has edema (her legs and feet are so swollen that the skin has cracked). I've been wanting to help her with EFT but am hesitant to do so. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Caregiving and Animals

EFTSpain — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 22:38:18 GMT

Hello,

Something struck me after writing in on the Animal Forum about our Missing Cat , if he came back injured I would have to look after him and I have an EFT course running , if he came back to day when we had friends around for a barbie, we would instantly care, look after him..the courses, friends , nothing matters except ' looking after or caring ' for our animal.

How far do the boundries extend of care/caregiving ..when I was asked to write the introduction for this forum, I never thought about the animal side of it..I am not trying to take away from the Animal forum because the help I have receieved is very insightful ..its just this whole caregiving thing extends beyond what I origianally perceived.

However, it started me thinking ..if I had to stop working to look after my animal..then yes I would..no questions.

A few months gao, two puppies were abandoned outside our gateway and it was cold, throwing down with rain ..we sheltered them in a dog kennel overnight which our two dogs don't use !

Next day fed and watered them, they were cold and wet..we had a barbie planned for a friends birthady, we were making food etc..without going into detail we were several hours taking the pups to a sanctuary and cancelled the festivities..some of our friends thought us mad but that surely is caregiving?

If we had to do it longer, we would have done.

If my pet friend was ill, I would be with him and give care.

If he is injured or sick, I would give him care.

I would lose money from work and still give care.

I would miss work appointments and give care.

I would be there with him till the end and give care.

I would administer drugs, food etc and give care.

I would take him to the vets/animal hospital and give care.

But most importantly, I would be there for him to support, love...and to be with..no matter what.

This whole care thing is mind blowing..we seem to do it unconditionally.

Sorry had to start this thread with my cat missing but it made me realise we don't only include humans in our caregiving forum..I had not included animals.

Marie

EFT by Phone for Carers/Caregivers

EFTSpain — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:52:23 GMT

Hello everyone,

Has anyone had any experience either as a Practitioner giving EFT by phone session to a caregiver or has a carer/caregiver had any experience on the receiving end ie. receiving an EFT session by phone ?

I was just thinking about Gill Wightmans experiences as a carer ..which is well worth reading ( Posting ' Thanks from me too' ) .. and my own experience as a carer .. how many times that a carer is unable to get out of the house , that EFT by phone could be a life saver.

If anyone has any experiences they would like to share we would love to hear from you.

Warmest wishes,

Marie

EFT hits the spot again!

Sueg — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 00:37:38 GMT

Hi all

Was pleased and amazed to see that the new Forum for carers/caregiving has been opened and good to see the entries. EFT is certainly an eye opener for me and so helpful.

Finding it a bit hard to get the right words but my son, my only child, had cystic fibrosis and he lived well and more than most of us and died nearly four years ago at the age of 20, 2 weeks away from his 21st birthday. It was through my son that I got into 'Alternative Health' firstly doing a one day workshop on Aromatherapy as I was so stressed out. I wish we had discovered EFT many moons ago. It has certainly helped me. Still got many trees to cut down though but always aiming to be 'The Ultimate Therapist'. EFT is the only therapy that I know of where the therapist is actively encouraged to be honest and to continue to work on themselves.

EFT over the phone would be wonderful for carers, especially if it were affordable, and as has already been said, would help to offset any potential dis-ease that the carer/caregiver has. I for one, would certainly be up for it as a telephone service provider, always remembering that people are in different circumstances and that no situation is the same.

Personally, I am quite open with my emotions and I am sure that this factor, although annoying to me at times, has been a saving grace for me. Through EFT I now sleep better and have more hope for my future. Close people around me have noticed that I am calmer since I started using EFT.

Many, many thanks. Sueg

Thank you

Gill Wightman — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 13:17:58 GMT

Hello Marie and Sylvia I am delighted to see this forum. I have recently lost my mother, she had rare early onset dementia called Picks disease and I was a caregiver to her (the biggest challenge of my life) and am currently also in a position of being the main person who is taking responsibily for my uncle who also has a rare early onset dementia and am trying to get care organised for him and for my very ill grandfather. I am only able to work part time as a therapist due to all these other responsibilites, which can be heartbreaking as well as emotionally and physically demanding. Some of my experiences with this are featured in a new set of DVD's produced by EFT Master Gwyneth Moss (details on http://www.eft-in-action.com/). My session was entitled (to my horror) Too much tragedy and my intention was to be able to help other people who are in these very difficult situations. Without EFT I have no doubt I would have had a nervous breakdown by now. I was a member of a support forum for Picks disease and I constantly talked to them about EFT, and to my delight a few people started to use it, but it will be refreshing to combine both. With much appreciation. Gill

Welcome

Eric — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:53:31 GMT

Welcome to the Caregiving Forum which is dedicated to carers worldwide, often not recognized for their total love, devotion and support to the people who are at their neediest.

You may be a full time carer, short or long term, looking after your loved ones every need.

You may be a carer who has just been thrust into this position and your whole world has been turned upside down.

You may be caring for someone who is terminally ill.

You may be a friend, neighbour, or family who is also helping the carer in a short term or on a temporary basis.

You may have been a carer whose loved one has passed over and you are not sure where life is taking you, struggling with a hundred and one emotions, feelings, memories and traumas.

The Forum fully recognizes and respects your total dedication and devotion for others and aspires to help you with your own individual needs. As a carer you may have similar roles but different needs.

You have constant worries, fears and concerns about your loved one
You may not be in the best of health yourself
You may consider yourself too old, or too frail to be a carer
You may have sleep problems
Your life may have dramatically changed
You may have lost your employment or had to give up your work
Along with this, you may have lost your income and have financial worries
You may support your loved one and feel no one supports you
You may have no social life
You may have ' unpleasant ' tasks to undertake in this caring role
You may be involved with Doctors, Home nursing visits, clinics and hospital appointments, issuing medicines, drugs and looking after dietary requirements
You may have to go shopping, deal with paperwork, bills, etc., but can't do this because there is nobody to cover for your role
You may have forgotten about yourself and completely lost yourself and your own needs in this role

The Forum recognizes your needs, worries, fears and sometimes sense of ' aloneness ' and is here for you when

You need to share or voice your experiences
You feel alone with it all and need support
You need a special community understanding what you are going through
A comfort zone

The Forum looks forward to Caring for the Carer by offering guidance on the techniques in relation to your own problems. Know that on going support is here when you need it.

Our thanks go to Gary Craig for his devotion and dedication in supporting this Forum and his gift to the world with Emotional Freedom Technique.

Marie Holliday

Co-Moderator