Anxiety General Discussion

Obssessive Compulsive Disorder

Enys Evans — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:54:42 GMT

Hi,

My 10 year old son has recently developed OCD. It takes the form of not being able to put his sweatshirt on because it is "bad", and/or if he takes one off it will rip his skin off too. Two days ago he couldn't get dressed at all. Last night he went to bed and slept with all his school clothes on. Occassionally he refuses food and drink again because he feels it's "bad".

Two years ago he took part in a 'boyish' dare involving touching the genitals. Boys in the village found out and have either called him names like "GayBoy" or shunned him ever since. He doesn't go out much now. We have used eft and he doesn't feel that he did anything wrong, he realises it was an innocent game of 'dare'. But he is very angry and frustrated that the boys don't see that. We have tapped on various aspects of anger, frustration, guilt, shame, fear etc. but nothings seems to work.

He is also sensitive to salicylates which is found in most fruit, veg, spices and lots of other foods. We have tapped on this too without much success. He does about a 100 cross-crawls and drinks water before tapping. We use the short-cut and sometimes the full-gamut too. I have tried tapping on his photograph, in my mind, on myself as surrogate and on his teddy-bear (and on himself too of course). I do seem to be successful with other clients so I'm obviously doing it right sometimes :)

He was born 8 weeks early by c-section as I had pre-eclampsia, and spent a month in SCBU. He had eczema as a baby/toddler. I've tapped on 'stress in the womb', fear of being born early, SCBU, abandonment etc.

We had two car crashes where the cars were a 'write-off'. Apart from these facts I believe we are a normal happy family.

I also give him Reiki, massages and I use the Aus Bush Flower Essences on him too. Also, as of yesterday 'Chill' Indigo Essence.

Can anyone tell me if you ever get rid of OCD, and salicylate sensitivities?

And if anyone has any suggestions, I'd be very grateful.

Thank you.

Enys Evans

Social Anxiety - Tips and help?

Feggel — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:36:42 GMT

Hi, I discovered that I suffer from social anxiety. Now I've read about it and it basically comes down to a low self esteem. Having this really sucks, because it is influencing my social life and study (I'm already 2 years behind). I have great difficulty letting people come close, like making new friends or giving my love life a fair chance. (which I do have lack of) It's like I forgot how normal social interaction works.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm not a complete wreck. I think it started for me after going to high school. In the first grade I was bullied allot, after which I came in contact with bad friends and things kinda went rolling down hill. After being arrested and kicked from school my self esteem was kinda missing. I then started doing these things to "protect" myself. Like avoiding social occasions, always sticking to a friend when you have to go to parties or whatever and most of the other things related to social anxiety.

I'm glad I have discovered EFT, because there is finally some hope at the end of the tunnel. From which I so far understand that is that for EFT to work properly you need to be able to connect with these feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem, shyness etc. (correct me if I'm wrong). I find it difficult to do this for I believe I have developed a "system" for avoiding these kinds of feelings and ignoring the obvious avoidance behavior.

Furthermore I don't really know where to start, I'm a bit overwhelmed by all this. To prevent me from giving up on this method I decided to take the first step and just put out here. I have tried several things, like affirmations, but after a week of trying it kinda sneaks out of my head. I have read the free manual, so I know the basics. If you can give me some tips on where to start, how long it might take. And what intrigues me most how you find out the "real" cause behind the issues. I've read a lot of stories, but almost always it seems that something else is causing it. Regards

Horrible anxiety.

msquared — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:26:45 GMT

I get this horrible anxiety when I sense that alot of people are looking at me. The root cause of it I found out from my therapist was when I encountered a trauma back in my home country. I was feeling Very self conscious and anxious. It felt as if they all hated me and the stress inside me was so overwhelming. Now, when I play basketball or do anything when people are watching im very self conscious of everything I do. It really holds me back from performing my best. I want to get rid of this anxiety NOW and FOREVER. If I do I know I will suceed and reach my goal of becoming a proffesional basketball player but without fixing it I wont ;/ I dont have as much love for the sport of basketball as I used too because of this anxiety ;( I used to be really good and my progress after that summer was declining. I could be 100x better if I didnt have this anxiety. Please help me out.

Thanks

Pressing EFT points and waiting for while works better.

pofuduk — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:22:42 GMT

Hi,

I was in a bad situation and had love pain and was thinking about my ex and feeling sad etc...And I got over my love pain with EFT.But I applied it a little different.I mean I did not tap the points, I pressed the EFT points and waited for a while.I think this works better.What do you think?

I said when pressing the points:

even though I feel regretful about him, because I think I will never find a man like him, I ddeply and completeley accept myself...

even though I want to call him

Love...

How did you reach a breakthrough with EFT?

Josie — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 01:27:30 GMT

Hi everyone,

I have been tapping with EFT for quite a few months now with little to no relief. One anxiety problem that I am working on is my social anxiety, feeling comfortable with myself in crowds, especially amongst my peers. I have very few friends, and I think a lot of it stems from the fact that I cannot make friends easily. I don't feel comfortable around others, I tense up, and cannot truly be myself, which leads me to being someone who is "hard to get to know." I am often described as quiet/reserved. I feel like people are negatively judging me, and so I tense up, trying not to draw any attention to myself. I hate walking into a crowd (say at a party) by myself. I have often come up with excuses to not go so I don't have to face the potential that I will be judged negatively. Of course I know logically this is not true, but I feel it.

I really want EFT to work, as does everyone on here. I have a few specific events that I can think of that might have triggered my social anxiety, but I have zero emotions over it. I tried tapping on a few of these events, specifically telling the story (to myself since I am not working with a practitioner), and doing a few rounds at every aspect that I come across. However, I just have no way of knowing how I am progressing since I feel nothing. Not even a sadness, there is just nothing. It almost feels like I am wasting my time since I can't feel anything.

I am wondering if there is anyone who had been using EFT unsuccessfully, who suddenly had a breakthrough, and what they did to reach it. I feel like EFT is not working for me, and would love if someone can tell me how they finally got it to work for them. I really need some encouragement. Unfortunately I cannot afford to work with a practioner since I am a student and I know these things cost quite a bit of money. Any thoughts you might have would be greatly appreciated!

Fear of people throwing up.

newfiechic — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:31:10 GMT

I am a 29 year old mother of two boys. I have always had a phobia of people throwing up as long as I can remember, as well as GAD and Panic Disorder. It wasn't until my 2 children came down with Rotavirus 3 years ago for 2 weeks that it really became serious. I became extremely fearful of even just being around them. After this happened I moved into the basement to be away from it all. I am really grateful that their father is so supportive when it comes to that. My mind is constantly spinning with thoughts of them becoming sick, so much so that I can't concentrate on anything. It isn't fair to my kids and I am embarrassed and ashamed of it. I feel like I am living in a nightmare and I just want to run away.

Now with the Swine Flu going around, I not only fear for their safety, but I fear that they might throw up.

I can remember almost every time someone in my life has gotten sick around me, and I have tapped on each one with no success. I have tapped on times that I have gotten sick. I have tapped on the times my children have gotten sick. I have a hard time feeling any emotions associated with each occurrence, so it is hard for me to know if what to tap on, or how long. I also have a hard time concentrating when I am doing my tapping because I feel like my mind is wandering all over the place and it is hard to get it to settle on one thing.

My family has no extra money at this time to seek any help and in the meantime I was just wondering if someone could throw some pointers at me or make some suggestions.

Thank you so much!

Crippling social anxiety

childofthetao — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:24:34 GMT

Hello, everyone I am wondering if it is possible to help me.

I have to get a job, and it is very difficult for me. I have only had two jobs in my life and I am almost 26. I had to quit them both on the first day because I couldn't handle the anxiety.

I must phone places to get an interview and I am even nervous about that. Not phoning I am fine with that, but going and talking to people.

I have seen many EFT DVD's so I know the procedure I just don't know how to help myself with it.

Being homeless and starving would definelty be the easier option, but I'd prefer to try and beat this fear.

Any help is appreciated.

Thank you

Child of the Tao

Inferiority Complex

Ritman — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 04:08:46 GMT

Does anyone know of any EFT practitioners, that can help me for free because I'm 17 and don't have any money. I want to get rid of this terrible shame that I feel. I have found alot of core issues, but no matter what I do I can't get myself to stop feeling it. I feel inferior to others all the time and have this feeling that I am hated in soceity. I can't do my studies and nothing and I want to get into university. I have been feelin this shame every since I got bullied in higher kindergarten. I think I have made alot of headway in remembering my past experiences and why I feel this way, but I just can't stop feeling ashamed of everything I do. Whenever someone likes me I find an excuse to why they would.

I have lots of problem and some of them are preventing me from fully using EFT

Hopeful — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 12:18:09 GMT

Dear All,

I'm new here and hope you guys can help me.

I have a lot of issues I need to clear but, I'll tell you guys the high priority ones first.

I've diagnosed as having depression and anxiety by my psychiatrist but I couldn't take any of the conventional medication like anti-depressant and anti-anxiety pill. My anxiety will go to high gear whenever I take these stuff and causes unbearable reaction (my psychiatrist said it's not the side effect of the medicine but my anxiety playing tricks). One anti-depressant caused me to have chill spell for 3 days like I have a freezer inside my body and the chill intensified when I was falling into sleep mode (imagine putting your hand on ice for a long time and feel it getting painful). The second anti-depressant made me have hot flushes and sweating until my mother can see my bulging veins on my forehead. Anti-anxiety pills made me even more easily shocked and the shock last for the whole day. So, I have to look for alternative and hope EFT can help me.

My most pressing issue is I feel/see the urge/image to kick, punch, straggle people and most of the time the target are my family members, myself or friends I really care about and people I'm grateful for (who give me good advice and support during my severe depression period. People who I would never want to hurt or see hurt, people who I love dearly. In fact they are the people I want to protect and want to give happiness to. Less frequently, the urge is on acquaintances or people I don't know. This scares me. When I see 'weapons' like steering wheel lock, I will feel the urge to pick it up and knock the person beside me or knock myself. Sometimes, I'll see image of my head getting bloody and sometimes I feel something around my neck. 99% of the time, I feel no anger or hatred towards the people I have urges on. I was not in angry more or anything, but, I just have this urge. Also, I'm not a violent person. In fact, I feel compassion for a lot of things. I don't even want to kill ant if I can avoid it and I feel bad pulling out weeds. I value life greatly. I feel bad for a long time after I accidentally hit a cat who rushed out in front of my car. I've never have any of these urges before my emotional breakdown (my emotional breakdown is not because of this). However angry I was, I never thought of getting physical. Only after my emotional breakdown during the end of January, I started having this urge and see myself hurting people. Luckily, my body has never listen to this urge of mine and I thank God everyday for that. Before the breakdown, I have only experienced the urge to jump down the balcony sometimes (not to commit suicide, just want to jump). I've look around the EFT official site to get guidance and came upon this article.

http://www.emofree.com/Anger-management/murderousimpulse.htm

This made me afraid to try EFT on my urges. I'm afraid of what will happen. My mom asked me to try dealing with other issues and maybe my urge will go away on its own. I'm currently using EFT to help my panic attack and it sometimes help, sometimes doesn't. I also do a bit on forgiving past mistake and on fear. But, I don't dare to go too deeply into it. I'm afraid of being too relax and losing all inhibitions and then losing control and really do something regrettable. I read a lot about how EFT healing past traumas or memories that inhibit your live and decision. Will I lost my sense of moral and value after I do EFT? This sense of right and wrong that keep me on track?

Btw, I'm also doing Ho'ponopono. I have anxiety attack yesterday, but, after a few rounds of EFT (following the clips on youtube) and repeat the Ho'oponopono mantra I can sleep soundly. I felt quite good when I woke up, but, when I still felt the urges, I started feeling hopeless and a bit depress and wanted to cry. I did a round of EFT again and able to relax and laugh. I don't really know what to say, so, I always just follow the clips on youtube (may God bless those kind altruistic people who put up the videos).

I'm also helpless because where I live, EFT is not widely practiced. Even psychiatrists are not many. It's hard to find a therapist I can do EFT with. The therapist I'm seeing that knows EFT and hypnotherapy has a tight schedule and practiced in another state.I only managed to have 1 appointment with him last month and the next appointment hasn't been fixed yet. He is very kind and gave me guidance through emails. He told me that I should be OK doing EFT on the urges because my condition is not the same as the patient http://www.emofree.com/Anger-management/murderousimpulse.htm, but, I'm still not confident doing EFT without the presence and guidance of a professional. I'm also afraid of saying wrong things that imprint the wrong message in my subconscious mind. For example, I'm afraid to say 'although I have these violent urges, I completely and totally accept and love myself' because I'm afraid my brain will get the wrong message and think it's ok to feel like that and then act on it.

I'm not taking any psychiatric medicine now, but, taking nutrients prescribed by a clinical nutritionist/naturopath who diagnosed me having hormone imbalance, immune system going haywire and slightly anemic.

Please help.

God bless everyone.

EFT and a dream

Jade24 — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:18:18 GMT

Hi there,

I have been doing EFT for a while with small improvements but no real breakthrough.

I did a dream the other night being hugged by a nice brown bear. I actually love animals like tigers, bears, or big dogs. They seem strong, affectionate and give the image of being protective. Excuse me for my English which is not my first language.

In my dream, I was comfortably in his big fur when I suddenly realised that if I moved, this bear could violently beat me with his big claws. I suddenly felt in real danger. I then woke up. I realized that this bear that I first really enjoyed being with most probably was the image of my father. My father being violent when I was a child.

Could anyone help me out and suggest what I could tap to calm this anxiety I have (that is repressed anxiety as I don’t feel it at all consciously). I don’t know what to do with this dream that actually reveals what my inner child thinks about my father or being in a relationship. I think my subconscious mind or inner child thinks I am in real danger when in a relationship (I still do nightmares of my father at 30 years of age). But I unfortunately don’t feel any emotional charge at all when doing my tappings. It is all deeply repressed. I’d say that my inner child is blocking me from being in a relationship to protect me. And it has an amazing power. The weird thing is that I have no emotional charge at all (apart from in my dreams sometimes) so I find it difficult to clear the emotions through EFT (as there are none) or find the words to bring that negative emotions and then being able to clear it.

I would very much appreciate your point of view or help me to deal with that dream that has a lot of sense to me.

Many thanks.

Where is my baby?

herbiecat — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 14:03:30 GMT

3 and 1/2 years ago I went through an IVF attempt, but I had to stop as my ovaries reacted very strongly to the drugs. Unfortunately that spelt the end of our real hopes to have our own baby. At the time I cried a few times but than I told myself that I would not be one of those women who goes "mad" because they cannot have a baby. And that was the end of it. My husband is not very comfortable expressing his emotions and I felt that I could not express mine with him without him getting angry with me. So I guess I unconsciously decided to close up my emotions about this.

It is now the right time to face this as it has come up with EFT and I have realised there is so much sadness, grief, loss.....It was going to be a baby girl, or at least this is what we were secretely hoping for and now I am grieving her loss even if she has never existed. The intensity of the emotions is so strong that she might as well have been a baby who died. I feel like a mum, I would have been a good mum and I just would like to hold my baby and give her all my love.

Could anyone help me at all if they have had a similar experience or can somebody help me with some suggestions with tapping or links to tap along videos or audios for this kind of issues?

I feel that this might be the cause of some physical problems I have been having for a while and I hope that by working on this, the physical problems might go away.

I always wanted to be a mum all my life.

please help diagnose me

prodigiousflames — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 08:16:33 GMT

Sorry if I sound redundant, I've already posted a thread similar to this one but I'm trying to clarify my issue. I have a horrible sense of direction so I get anxious driving in front of people and getting lost, I get nervous performing simple tasks such as cooking--cutting something--opening a can--opening anything-- in front of people for fear of them saying 'wow you're slow..' or 'wow you're really bad at this' etc. etc. If someone is not in the room I can easily perform the task. I looked up performance social anxiety/generalized anxiety disorder and it kept listing symptoms such as fear of writing, speaking in public, or eating in front of people. These aren't my main issues though (minus giving presentations) so can someone help diagnose my issue? Can anyone relate and has EFT helped? Also what do you think could be the root cause for this performance type anxiety?

(im also gonna post this in the general thread thanks)

going to the toilet anxiety

bumblebee — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 07:33:49 GMT

Hello I have posted here before and I have been using EFT for a while on myself and with my husband with some sucess - mainly I have to say for emotional rather than physical issues. We live in India and there are no EFT therapists that we know of in our state. My husbands cousin has a problem which I feel may be benefited with EFT but we are not experts and would welcome help on how to get going with this. As the cousin only speaks our local language my husband will have to help him with the EFT but he is not too sure where to start as he only has a basic knowledge of EFT.

The problem is that when the cousin travels anywhere he feels like he has to go to the toilet alot (bowel movement), so he is fearing to travel or go to any party or funcion - he wont be comfortable. From home also he isn't comfortable sometimes - he will go but then immediatley feel like he has to go again. For 20 years he's had this problem . He has had medical check ups which are normal and he doesnt have any pain, he saw a psychiatrist for some time - the medicines he was given ( I dont know what) did help but he doesnt want to keep taking them and the talk therapy didnt help. It seems like the problem is controlling his life.

I dont know if there is a physical causative factor (diet etc. ) that may be contributing to this but there is also a sure mental factor in that it is causing him a lot of tension and worry.

We are thinking in the next couple of weeks to start the tapping so if anyone can give guidelines (quite simple would be better as he will not understand very complex processes) about how to start with this and what to tap on , that would be great!! I would love for him to get relief as locally there doesnt seem to be any kind of treatment to help him.

Many thanks - Mere

Success Story and Important Question

JasonT — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 13:18:42 GMT

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Hi All,

Glad to be a part of this forum.

I have known about EFT for about a year (although only been using it really for about 4 months) and have recently started studying the DVDs – about 2 months ago.

Since then, I have had one success story which would like to share. I had to do a presentation at work. About a day before the presentation (the evening before actually) I started getting a little nervous. I also knew that about an hour before the presentation I would range somewhere between 6 and 8 intensity. Now while I never started EFT for improving my public speaking skill, I thought I might as well tap on that and I realised that it may uncover issues related to my real issue (more on this later). Anyway, I must have tapped for about two hour or more on various aspects. These were:

1) Having lots of ppl focus on me for up to an hour (this was the major one and I spent about 50% of my tapping time on this)

2) A feeling that I might go blank and just stand there not knowing what to say (I never had a past experience like this but I had the fear for some reason)

3) The feeling like my throat was blocked and that I wouldn’t get words out.

4) Tension in my stomach

It took about two hour but I got the anxiety down to about a 2 and it got to at most a 3 the next day and during the presentation. The presentation went very well – one of my best ever. Maybe something that others could use – in order to get my anxiety up so that I could tap it way - I didn’t use visualizations as they don’t work too well for me. Instead I stood in one corner of my room and with my eyes open I would think “okay in about 12 hours there will be 5 ppl standing in front of you”, “they will stare a you and expect you to talk for an hour” and I placed them mentally where they would be tomorrow (with eyes open). This worked for me quite well and I managed to get the anxiety up this way before tapping.

I was pretty happy about this and it was nice to get some success.

So now to my question –

The reason I started EFT was really to get over some social anxiety problems I have. I get nervous when I go out or when I meet new people. My intensity varies between 4 and 10 depending on the situation. Why this happened? I don’t really know. I was a very sensitive kid. When I was younger I got bullied and I never defended myself. There are other aspects as well but I would guess that that’s the main contributor.

So to my question (im getting there slowly J ) –

While studying Garys DVDs I noticed that what he repeatedly did was take an problem/movie and get it down to zero, then move to a new problem/movie and get that down to zero and so on...

My problem is, I can never get a specific event down to zero. Here’s what happens:

I take a specific event, such as a time when I was at school and a kid came and called me a moron. I recount the situation out loud and I tap. I get this down to zero quite easily. Then a new aspect comes up...what happens is that I find that I don’t really get intense about the past. Instead I am angry an anxious now about the present. Im angry/anxious because:

1) I feel like if had to go to a shopping centre tomorrow and bump into one if these “kids” (of course they are older now but in my mind they are still kids) and they had to call me a moron again I do not feel like I would be strong enough to defend myself

2) I feel like if I was shot back in time to that moment I still would be strong enough to fight back.

3) I feel like if I met a new person who was rude to me now I wouldn’t be able to defend myself.

4) I feel like if I let this issue go then that means that I should be able to do certain things right now this very second (like go out right now and not feel anxiety) and the thought of doing it right now makes me feel anxious again and I don’t want to go out even more.

This is where I get stuck. I can tap on these four aspects forever, but I never feel like if I had to go out tomorrow and someone tried to hurt me that I would be strong enough to fight back. I’ve tapped on this repeatedly for a whole stack of aspects including specific past events and current events. I have tried to use the movie technique as well and decompose one of these aspects into sub aspects. But always if I test and ask myself “Okay, so if right now that person had to come into the room and insult you, would you stand up for yourself?” my response varies between “no I wouldn’t” and “I don’t think I would”.

What do I do about this? Has anyone with EFT experience ever experienced something like this anf if so, how did you resolve this? Do I just need to be persistent and keep at it. When I see Gary in the DVDs he always seems to take an aspect and collapse it to zero before moving on to a new aspect. But I do not seem to be able to do that here. I get stuck on one of the four and it’s like hitting a brick wall. I then don’t know if I should look deeper or move to another aspect or what? Any advice most appreciated.

Thanks,

Jason

Always a follower and never a leader

jg2013@gmail.com — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 20:42:30 GMT

I recently discovered EFT and recognize the benefits that it has brought to many people. I started reading and tapping but, like many other times (eg meditation, visualization etc) in my life I have lost the motivation to continue on with something that could be answer to the issues in my life. I keep stalling doing anything myself and keep saying I need to find a practitioner who will help me go through the process.

I have been contemplating seriously why I'm like this. I've also realized that I have always been the 'assistant to the person doing the job' and never the 'doer' myself. I have always needed to be motivated by my teachers and never been able to BE like my teachers. I have been a secretary/admin person all my life and was recently offered the opportunity to move into a self-starter/doer role and I went into terror. I believe this may have its origins in my birth. I was a forceps delivery and never made the entire journey on my own and this has set me up for life - never starting and finishing anything, never leading in anything and not able to motivate myself. I'm rather apalled to finally admit that I'm never going to amount to anything more than a support person.

How do I tackle something from such an early point that I don't have any memories of? There is much more I am realizing about myself but this would seem to be a very fundamental part of my makeup and releasing it would have a tremendous flow over effect in my life. I would appreciate any suggestions that anyone may have.

Thanks

Joanne

Conscious of swallowing and throat tightness - making social interactions less enjoyable

pinged — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 07:03:58 GMT

Hey. For the last couple of years I've been very conscious of swallowing, especially during social situations. The urge to swallow happens because I think about it. My mouth also starts to produce lots of spit. My throat can also feel tight. It's super annoying when I watch a movie with friends and I think about it all the time. I also don't want them to hear me swallowing which leads to trying not to swallow, but that makes the tightness worse I can remember the first time it happened too. It was right after an awkward sexual experience when I was about 15. After when I wanted to be quiet and not make any noise I became aware of swallowing and that led to about 15 minutes of constant swallowing of spit and throat tightness. Now that I want to do something about it - it's also made me think more about it. Which so far has done nothing, except MORE spit production and more tightness. During breaks at work I'm constantly swallowing..... and i'm losing my mind soon. Could EFT be helpfull with this? Any tips for what to tap on? Thank you! -D

Specified anxiety resolved with EFT

jasonws — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 21:41:12 GMT

I've been using EFT for 4 months or so, along with the Tapas Acupressure Technique, and have made significant progress. I still have a ways to go.

About a month ago I was at a community event that happened to have a contra dance. I've gone to a couple contra dances before and could see how much fun I could have, but since I was kinda shy, it just ended up being agonizing. It was the same this night. One of my friends, who's been contra dancing for many years, put me with one of his friends (after I metaphorically and jokingly kicked and screamed and made a few excuses about how I shouldn't) and after the initial discomfort of the introduction I had a blast. I was enjoying myself far more than at any other contra. At the end of the dance, it was time to choose other partners, and I just laughed. There was no way I was going to be able to do that. So I made another excuse and just watched the dancing for the last dance. Despite my fears, I asked my friend when the next contra was, and decided that I would figure out what my fears were and resolve them beforehand using EFT.

So a few days later I took a couple hours and imagined going to a dance, asking people to dance, being asked to dance, talking with people, dancing, asking women I found attractive to dance, talking with them, and through muscle testing I realized a whole bunch of my fears: making people uncomfortable, being boring, being overbearing, acting like I'm an idiot, acting like I'm not intelligent, not having anything to say, doing something wrong, intimacy, asking women to dance, talking with women, dancing with women... I think there are a few others that I don't recall. In any case, using muscle testing I found that EFT would resolve all of them, checked for reversals - each one had a bunch - and went through the whole recipe for each.

I tested afterward and found each of the fears to be false, which was very encouraging, but there wouldn't really be any way for me to tell for sure until the next dance, which was a couple weeks ago. So the dance came, and right off the bat I was asked to dance by an actually quite stunningly beautiful young woman before I even considered asking anyone, which might have helped, but I had no trouble at all the entire night, well, other than with the dances themselves, and getting things wrong periodically was actually kinda fun! I asked several people to dance, was asked by a few others, talked with people... It was amazing the absolute transformation of myself that I had witnessed.

Just last Saturday I went to another dance, again had a wonderful time, and I do believe I have found a new favorite hobby. I just wanted to tell my story to people, to give them another idea as to what EFT can do. And this was with one session. Be sure to consider reversals - those buggers will stop any change from occurring. All of these tappings worked the first time, at least most of the way, but remember that even if it doesn't work the first time, that shouldn't discourage you from tapping again.

Keep tapping!

Jason

Long time ago, still the same anxieties

swamoe — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 20:15:34 GMT

Hello,

Admittedly, I am in desperate need of help.

It's been quite a while since I last visited this forum. So far EFT only has worked on short-term an I am in need of some heavy changes in attitude. Quite some time ago I made a post about my loss of hearing. Unfortunately, regardless to the many efforts I've made deal with it, I'm very much struggling to manage, both socially and academicly.

I've also came to know myself as one who manipulates and lies. I haven't experienced any form of happiness since highschool, tried to find some professional help but it seems I've been able to trick, fool and misguide anyone in order to avoid some real confrontations. Sitting down with my dad for a man-to-man talk made me realise this.

I think this is also why I can't say for myself that I have a boomin' social life. Because of my loss of hearing, I'm too scared to enter and actively engage in a conversation, simply because I don't know how to seize and hold control of it. I've always been able to wrap any conversation around my finger, to win sympathy, knowledge and respect. And no, I don't believe I did this in an harmful way.

I cannot, or don't know how to use EFT to help me rid of my deafness. In a way, I don't think I should aim for that until I have learned to put my own needs in conversation aside. Tapping on just the thought of liking and loving myself, I'm flooded with thoughts why I don't like myself, why it's not worth getting to know me.

Friends and family (mostly family) that are very close to me, ensured me I was definately worth loving and liking. In a way, I believe them, but I'm just too scared to "try it out".

I'm sorry for this very impulsive post, but I'm in real need of advise. I am too affraid to find professional help, or too eager to then misguide them too. I hope someone can find the time and energy to reply.

Thanks

-S

Resolving a shameful incident

Ricky — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 21:53:43 GMT

It was a fluke, really - maybe it wasn't. I happened to remember something that happened when I was a kid. I had beaten up a younger boy at school.

At first I didn't think there was any charge to it - it didn't seem to matter to me. So I decided, "If that's true then I should be able to replay the movie in my head without feeling anything." So I tried, and I broke down instantly. I was filled with a deep shame. How could I do such a horrible thing?

I had beaten him up with no reason, no provocation. He was younger. What made it extra bad for me was I didn't let him leave. After I had beaten him up once, he tried to leave, and I chased him down and beat him again. This happened twice more. Looking back on it, it was a horrible thing to do.

So I tapped on it. I played the movie bit by bit. I remembered the sun shining on the snow, and the color of his snowsuit, and exactly what I did. I tapped through it for a while, and I got to the part where I chased him down that first time - and that was too powerful. So I respected that. I rewound the movie a few seconds and just tapped on

"Even though I'm not ready to see that part of the movie yet..."

I used reminders like

"I'm not ready to see that yet"

"I may not be ready today"

"But I still accept that I will be ready someday"

"Even if that day is not today"

Eventually I was able to play the movie again. It was manageable now, and I gradually got through the whole movie and released it.

What really struck me though is how different that story is from other examples of EFT. The examples I've read (the emotionally-based ones) usually involve things that other people did to you. This is something that, even after releasing the shame, I still recognize that what I did was unacceptable. I did something wrong.

So I decided to apologize to the boy. I don't know his name, but I described him as best as I could aand threw my apology out into the universe. And I decided to make amends to him by learning something from the experience - I learned that I was angry because my father and older brother had bullied me, so I bullied this boy. And I promised him that I will release my anger toward my father and brother, so I will never act out in rage like that again.

I still have some remnants of charge to the incident. I feel it as I'm typing this. Especially:

A bit of remaining shame;

Anger at my father for bullying me;

Anger at my brother for bullying me;

Fear that other people would condemn me if they learned that I did this.

So that's what I will tap on next.

Fear of heights

Marilyn McWilliams — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 16:07:12 GMT

This weekend when I was climbing the trail to the looking point at Multnomah Falls in the Columbia Gorge, a couple passed me and the woman said that she was OK w/ the walking but had trouble with heights. I caught up with them at the lookout point where the woman was staying FAR back from the railing and asked if she wanted to handle that. She was very willing and we tapped:
Even though I have this anxiety, ...
   I love and accept myself
   I enjoy myself
   I appreciate myself
   I like being me
   I forgive myself for any part I may have played...
   I forgive everyone else for any part they may have played
   I choose to feel comfortable
We did a short round of the Choices tapping:
    (SUDS 8) Anxiety, then
   Comfortable, then
   Alternating Anxiety and Comfortable, ending on Comfortable.

She walked out to looking saying "Wow" then stopped about a foot and a half from the railing and we did a very quick "short form" on
   Remaining "2" Anxiety alternating with Comfortable and ending on Comfortable.
Then she walked right up, put her hands on the railing and stood there looking out saying: " Now I feel like I can enjoy the view!"

Marilyn McWilliams, Portland, OR

Fear

Vera — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 13:43:45 GMT

Hello I'm new her and i have a question.

I had a real bad childhood and sometimes i could not feel anything through all the bad memories i was carrying around. I'm doing eft now for a week and suddenly all the feelings start melting away and their is this really nice person that come from underneath these feelings. it's like i'm not myself anymore and it freaks me really out .this morning I had almost an anxiety attack.

Is this normal.

Love Vera

What happens with al these emotions

Vera — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 16:30:34 GMT

Now that I'm feeling a big sift in my feelings ....i can't stop wondering what happens with these anger feelings and all the other negative emotions do we suppress them en will they come out later or are they truly gone.

I'm scared that I'm brainwashing myself .I'm myself not anymore.

Help

Vera

panic makes me wet myself - can eft stop this?

Rachel42 — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 12:45:37 GMT

adult female, ever since childhood, when ever I feel under stress and am scred of peopel, not things, my fight or flight mechanism kicks in, takes over and I wet myself. it's as if my subconscious takes over and I have no control over my bladder. it's horrendous, and can happen in situations that everyone else would just shrug off (if some one questions my actions, is sharp with me, raises an eyebrow at my decisions). It's made me very scared of life though my friends allthink I'm a strong outgoing person.

investigating eft, i so need something to break through my mad mind and body. any thoughts anyone please?

memories?

alphameds — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 10:50:02 GMT

Hey all,

have tried eft a few times now, and am kinda convinced that it does work, the problem is however bringing back those memories to actually tap them away. when your in the right situation they surface seemingly out of nowhere like if your in a group but theyre hard to get out when your alone, in fact its almost as if they try to avoid coming up. My questions are, a) do you have to remember the exact event that triggered that feeling or is it more important to just actually have that feeling present within you. b) isnt the best way to do this to actually go into those situations and let the feeling arise, if you tapped on it then, would it work just as well ?( im aware this would look really inappropriate in a group :P)

sometimes when i do eft several things happen, i can feel myself going deeper into things that happened before, and sometimes when i tap on things, i have this feeling of lightness inside as if ive 'ive got rid of something inside'. any other similair experiences please do share.

peace to you all

My anxieties keep returning

Ricky — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 05:52:15 GMT

I have been tapping on a number of issues lately. When I tap, they feel much better. there is a sense of immediate relief. I often cry during the tapping, breathe more deeply and slowly, and overall I feel those "one-minute wonders"

The problem is that they keep returning. The same feelings will return again a few days later and I have to tap all over again. I recently started tapping on "I will never get better" and "I am hopeless and cannot be fixed" in the hopes of alleviating this. I have had some success but I expect they will return. (See? there it is again. "I expect they will return.")

I'm hoping someone here can give me some insight on what I'm missing or not understanding.