Hi - I'm relatively new to EFT but have had some great results working on myself and some pretty good results doing surrogate EFT for my daughter. I have a good friend who is pregnant and dealing with severe nausea and hypersensitivity to odors. I've offered to try and help her with this using EFT and she is excited to try. I haven't worked directly with another person before and I'm a bit nervous that I'll "do it wrong"  (I'll tap on that before I work with her).  I'd be grateful for any set-up phrase suggestions to get me started. I think the hypersensitivity is the first issue she would like to address as it's preventing her from working with her clients (she's a massage therapist) as she is extremely bothered by even normal body odors.  All food smells are bothering her, as well -  even something as inocuous as a salad, and she's having a hard time eating.  For an issue like this, can one bundle the "bad smells" together, or must we deal with each separate odor, which would take forever? I know it's important to be specific, but how specific is it necessary to be? 

I also realize there are probably some significant underlying emotional issues which may be contributing to the smell sensitivity as well as the nausea. She carries a lot of sadness and painful memories from her childhood and has a tremendous need to take care of everyone around her and always be in control.  Her marriage is also not very happy and she gets little support from her husband.  I am really hoping that if we can get the smell sensitivity and nausea under control a bit, she'll be willing to work with an EFT practitioner to help her through the significant issues, as I don't have the skill for that. 

We plan to get started on this tomorrow (Sunday, 10/28). Any suggestions would really be appreciated! Thanks!

Also - I am aware of the importance of NOT tapping on the ankle point. If there are any other precautions that people are aware of for pregnancy tapping, I'd be grateful to hear them.   

Evelyn 

 Hi Evelyn,

I'll offer a quick reply in case you don't get any more answers before tomorrow. There are so many possibilities and I don't know exactly what to suggest without knowing her better ---  go with your gut and trust your insights -- what I'm suggesting is just to give you one idea of how to approach it.  Other mods here have more experience with pregnancy so hopefully can chime in ...

Even though I am nauseous and feel unable to eat, I love and accept myself and my pregnant body.

Even though I am nauseous and don't know what my body wants/needs, ..... 

Even though I have mixed feelings about this pregnancy and baby,  ....

 Even though my body is very sensitive to smells, and it's doing it to protect myself and my unborn baby, I love and accept and trust myself.

Even though it feels like the environment around me is unsafe, and I need to protect my baby, I love and accept myself.

Even though my hormones are making me sensitive to smells and I can't work, I accept my sensitivity and my inability to work. 

Even though I need to rest and others keep expecting me to be the same, .....


Let us know how it goes -- I know you will do great.  You have the personal experience of your own successes so that will carry you well ... don't try to force any outcome -- be very open and just use her language and trust it will unfold the way it needs to. She will tell you everything you need ... everything she says is tappable.... everything ....

 Hugs,

Deborah 

Hi, Evelyn.  I'm late with a response, and hope your tapping session went well.  Deborah had some great suggestions for you.  Just in case you have another session with your friend to work more on this issue, or for anybody else who may be wondering the same thing, I wanted to pipe in too.  I've worked with women having similar troubles with nausea, along with the intense sensitivity to smells during early pregnancy that you describe.  It can be really debilitating, especially when the woman has other children.  In some cases, it seems like we can do fine with the general layer, and bundling of generic "smells" or "odors" works well.  In other cases, that may not work as well as you and your friend/client would like, and you will need to go deeper. 

Sometimes first-trimester discomforts are really about adjusting to the idea of becoming a mother again, and working through the ambivalence (normal, even if baby is greatly wanted).  And sometimes that's there, plus some underlying hormonal things that the mom just seems to be sensitive to.  I typically try to come at it from both angles, the "purely" physical (you can use EFT to reduce excess sensitivity to hormones that can leave women feeling queasy) and the emotional.

One additional thing I've noticed that seems to come up fairly frequently with first-trimester pregnancy discomforts-- they're often, at least in part, a request for TLC.  It might be a sign from the mom to herself, trying to signal her "gotta get it done" left brain that she needs to slow down and be more patient with herself and her pregnant body.  Or it may be that she could use some more TLC from her partner, mother, supportive friends, her OB care provider, and/or etc, depending on her situation and background.  Sometimes, especially if the expectant mother's emotional well is significantly drained already, the idea of taking care of this new little one can be so very overwhelming that it can become, on some level, a survival issue: her or the baby.  She may not be consciously aware of this perception, but it may still be occurring.  Just wanted to suggest this possibility, since your description of your friend did sound some warning bells for me with regard to how full (or empty) her reserves may be at this point.  If you do find that there's some overwhelm going on, you can use something like this:

"Even though I don't know how I'll be able to take care of a(nother) baby, especially when nobody is meeting MY needs, I deeply and completely accept myself and all my emotions."

"Even though I'm not sure I can do this, and my well is really running low, I choose to remember that I am loved, cherished and supported even when I feel overwhelmed and all alone."

Let us know how things go!

Eileen

 Hi Deborah and Eileen,

Thank you both so much for your responses! I wasn't able to get together with my friend until Monday evening, and then it was only for a brief time. I spoke to her the next day, and she seemed to feel some relief. I also taught her the basic routine and gave her some  info so that hopefully she can try and do some self-help as needed. She felt comfortable with that.

Eileen, your insights are exactly right. My friend is such a highly driven, super-responsible person that her resources are most certainly running low.  She is aware of some of the emotional aspects which may be behind  her discomfort (although not the specifics you mentioned) and I know she wants to address those issues.  

Thanks, your responses are very, very helpful! I'll update if we have any more sessions.

Evelyn 

Hi Deborah, found and old post of yours from back in 2007, regarding nausea and hyper sensitivity to smells. Well my daughter is expecting her first baby and has Hyperemesis. and what I was wondering is is it really safe to do EFT in pregnancy. Its just your set up from you post is so accurate to how she is suffering that I would like to help her but afraid I might cause more harm than good.

The irony is she is a Midwife and she is so desperate to get back to the work that she loves. I just want to be sure itrs ok to help her and not harm her. EFT has worked for me in the past so I know it is a great tool. Just need to be sure it would be ok.

Best regards

Hysterp

Hi Hysterp,

Deborah will get pinged and respond to this post but I also wanted to add that I do a lot of work with pregnancy (I used to be a doula many moons ago) and have never had an abreaction using EFT. The way that I like to work with the trimesters is simply to work on issues in the past during the first, the present issues especially body image in the 2nd and the future in the 3rd. The things from the past that could cause physical issues include past sexual/reproductive incidents, how one was parented, and feeling associated with one's own mother especially. The only caution of course is using the ankle point which I have used successfully for turning breech babies.

Blessings,

Alina

Hi, Hysterp,

I can tell that you're very concerned about your daughter and wanting to help; also that you don't want to inadvertently do harm.  May I ask if you have any specific worries about EFT and potentially doing harm during pregnancy?  Or any intuition that it might not be the best way to serve your daughter's needs right now? 

Like Alina, I am a retired doula and I still work with a great many pregnant clients with EFT (and have taught many midwives to use it in their practices too).  I second what she's said, and we also need to address anything that may be giving you pause.  That may go a lot further to helping you decide if you feel comfortable to proceed than just reassurance from us.  :) 

Warmly,

Eileen

just a quick note, I don't know if it's relevant:

hyperemesis quickly leads to  near-starvation, and that can lead to panic, anxiety and depressison (not very suprisingly). Yet the more urgent you feel you must treat it, sometimes the less loving appears the treatment to be.

The first thing I recommend is having a fluid IV scheduled often - don't wait until she really can't anymore. Have it twice a week or as often as the doctor recommends. Tap for all the frustration of being told petty things, like to take ginger, as a top doctor recommended my client. Some people benefit from anti-nausea drugs like those given to cancer patients - something like Zofran. Although EFT is amazing, don't be hooked up to only using it, allow for and recommend practical solutions too.

As above, often it is fear of being like her own mother that is the theme in this condition, but be open minded, it could be anything. In one case, the family business was about to go bankrupt. In another case, the husband was saying not nice things about her being pregnant. The approach for her was to help her feel safe whatever he might say, and not assume that he would necessarily hate the child or her long term. If this is the case, an alternative approach might be to try to find someone else to speak to him and show him how not nice his words and actions were, and how they sometimes were nice and how to build on that. In another case, nausea was due to panicking, viewing variations from humdrum life as dangerous. So it could be anything, but remember, you as a supporter need support and grounding too at all times.

She will be OK. Don't let her pull you down in panic, like a semi-drowning person sometimes does to a would-be rescuer. Make sure you are safe at all times. Trust she will be OK. Help where you can.