Hi

Can anyone help?  My EFT practitioner is unavailable for two weeks and I would appreciate some guidance.

I have discovered the reason for my first panic attack, which probably happened when I was about two, caused by a series of abusive incidents by my mother.  This panicky child is still in there and still panicking quite regularly.  How can I reassure her that she's safe, and protected and loved.

I need some set-ups around the idea of keeping her safe, being a good parent, protecting, looking after her needs, not being to blame for what happened, being young and not responsible, but I can't seem to get my head round the phrasing.  I think I'm too close.  I think it needs someone with distance to see what's needed.

Thanks.

 Hi Rosie

Firstly, have you cleared the emotional memory of those abusive incidents? If your inner child is still living in fear, it would be best to clear those fears first. This can be done like surrogate tapping. When you have cleared those incidents in the past, she will no longer need to panic. Is this the work you are planning to do with your EFT practitioner?

Maybe tapping on something around accepting that she (your inner child) was traumatised, but that that was then, and you know she is safe now. 

Let me know what you want to focus on - clearing the past, or keeping things stable until your EFT practitioner returns, as I don't know what to advise and don't want to clash with your practitioner's plans!

You might go to a quiet, safe place with a picture of your self from that time frame. Hold or set the picture where you can see it. Now tap on connecting with this other part of you. Tap for:

"I know you (did you have a nickname?) are still afraid and maybe feeling abandoned. I'm here to reasure you I will always be there for you. I will never leave you. I am from your future and can assure you that everything will be all right. I (or use your adult name) am strong, you can depend on me." Picture taking this younger you on your lap and comforting her.

Hello Rosie,

I agree with Marian.  It seems that you have not cleared this "series of abusive incidents" with your mother completely.. Working with frightened, abandonned, rejected, abused inner children is my specialty, and in my experience, it is very difficult to go through all this without a practitioner. I recommend that you wait until your practitioner is back.

 All the best to you,

Carna Zacharias-Miller
www.missingmother.com

Dear Rosie,

I agree that clearing the event that happened when you were 2 years old is important. However, I don’t think that doing EFT until your EFT practitioner gets back will hurt. In fact, it will probably help.

Here are some set-up statements that you may find helpful, Even though:

• my EFT practitioner isn’t around and I’m a little afraid that I might mess up, I deeply and completely love and accept myself
• I have grown up and I am a responsible adult, there still a part of me that gets panicky, and I love and accept that part of me—I know that that part is doing it’s best, and I really appreciate and love that part of me
• Little Rosie still panics inside me, maybe she is trying to warn me of things that are scary for her—thank you for doing your old part, Little Rosie (, I know that you are doing your best, and I love and accept you
• I am a good parent and I still have this part of me that panics—the way that part of me is soooo comfortable with, and I love and accept that this part of me is still trying to help me

Remember to notice where the panic is in your body and rate it in intensity (0-10) before you start tapping.

Rosie, I am sixty years old, and I still tap on my inner child when she gets bent out of shape. It really works! What is important is to love this part of you. Actually, love ALL of your self including this part of yourself that gets panicky.

I hope that you find at least one gem here. Let me know how it is going.

Gratefully yours,

JoAnn

Hi Carna

Thanks for the reply.  I went to your website and read the symptoms of the missing mother syndrome and seem to have most of them!  Obviously this is what I need to address now.

Rosie

Hi, thanks for replying.  I think I just wanted to keep things stable until my practioner returns.  Two weeks seems a long time to wait without doing anything!