Hi !Glad to be here as a part of eft users !

seems like that events in past don't bother me right now at all as I am awake but when i went to sleep, and as i get into REM phase (i think) i can feel deep and intense emotions for the events that happened into past ( good or bad, doesn't matter), but right now as i am awake i can't feel it with that intensity. And i'm asking here - is it possible to feel those emotions with same intensity while im conscious with some 'brain training' or whatever ? 

Hello

Are you wanting to feel this intensity in order to feel more alive or is it so you can use it to compare your self healing efforts and progress?

Are these 'feelings' connected to real events throughout your lifetime or are they also connected to dreams or desires that you wish to come true?

Have you used EFT or any other alternative modality to reach the level of feeling that you describe? If so, what and what has been your outcome / experience with these?

In Peace, Kathleen

I have only little experience in EFTand nothing else 

I'm focusing now on my relationship and events that happened in the near past.

I'm stuck between feelings of good and bad emotions ! I'm constantly comparing how i felt then and how i'm feeling now in my relationship. So let's say that I want to feel attachment like I felt as I got into relationship ! 

Real problem is here (i think) - there was a period in that relationship that was really bad for me ! I felt pain, i have doubts on my partner and that has lasted for a while, when I would woke up in the morning and as i started to think of partner i felt pain in stomach etc... but that period is over because I feel much better now ! But thing that bothers me is that i can't feel such joy and attachemnt like in the begining and that's why I feel down sometimes, and i beging to build my belive system of any reasons that suits my state ( for instance - if i hear somewhere anything negative about love I consider that and accept it). But i really don't want to end this relationship, just want to fix my feelings and to improve my relationship !

 Second problem, and biggest of all is that i can't feel intensity as i'm awake and like i'm in rem phase of drean. I feel like i'm diving into dream but i can still think clearly, view images clearly etc. And all of that produces intense emotions that i can't produce when i'm fully awake ! 

anyone ?

Is it normal to feel such less intension while completely awake or not ? Because on eft videos i saw people can get easely thru intense emotions ( 9-10 on sud scale )...

Do i need to practice or what ?

Our minds have all sorts of strategies to protect us from emotions that feel too intense to handle.  It is possible that you are processing some emotions in your sleep that a part of you does not feel comfortable you being aware of while awake.  It is important to respect the mechanisms in us that are designed to protect us, while tapping to help move the situation forward.

I'd suggest you sit down and make a list of the things that still bother you about your relationship, and work with each one, one at a time.  As you work with each one also ask yourself if there is something from earlier in your life that reminds you of the feelings you have in your relationship now, and tap on them too.  Often our response to our current partner is actually a response to unresolved hurt from earlier in our lives.

If you find that your lack of ability to feel as you are doing this is hampering your progress, you have several options, some of which include:

• seek support from an experienced EFT practitioner.  When there are parts of us that are afraid of feeling emotions it can often be a lot smoother process if guided by someone who is experienced with EFT
• use language to talk to your subconscious and let it know that it is safe enough for you to process these emotions.  If you want some ideas of wonderful language you can use, I recommend downloading Betty Moore-Hafter's free teleclass and booklet on Creative Language with EFT (www.creativeeft.com)
• ask a trusted friend to sit with you as a you tap, or find a tapping buddy (www.tappingbuddies.net) to support you.  If parts of our subconscious are afraid to deal with things, sometimes it can help if we are sitting with someone who we trust can support us.

Very best wishes,

Jo  

Hello

If I'm hearing you correctly you are saying that as with all new relationships we have a feeling that is uplifting and joyful and you had that but then into the same relationship things changed and you were experiencing feeling of hurt and discomfort, even your physical body was telling you to beware due to the stomach feelings. I believe you said that they eventually went away ... but you didn't say whether it was because you learned to accept them and the behavior of the relationship or because the relationship changed and the issue[s] that were causing you the discomfort disappeared or ??? This is extremely important to know in order to suggest where to go with your self healing and guidance.

If you learned to and agreed within your self to accept the behavior and feelings of discomfort then something inside may have triggered to stop you from knowing anything other than this feeling of semi comfort to be able to better cope with your chosen situation. To be alive but not living therefore no true emotions ... up and down ... will be felt with the intensity that they could or should be felt with. This is to help you survive in the state that you are living within this relationship.

So you see my position, if this above is not the case then I need to understand this in order to further give thoughts on where to go from here :)

If this is the case this would be one of the reasons you walk around in a REM like state, no real truth being experienced ... just mere existence at this point which can be shifted but change and decision on your part as well as participatiion is going to have to take place.

Where does this fit for you and your situation? Or does it at all?

In Peace, Kathleen

Thanks for responses ;)

I think the issue was my jelaousy because we were frends at the begining.

We were experiencing really good times (feelings of uplift and joy for me - feelings that i want to experience again with her) but every step forward in that experience and chance for me to be with her was step down for my feelings because she was at her break from her past relationhip and that was what has holding my back. The things i've heard, seen and predict mostly were bothered me at the time.

She knew the situation in wich i was, she knew that i liked her, and she told me she likes me too, but to give her some time for her to get her mind free because she didn't want to fall in love again that soon, she wanted to be free for a while and she acted defendedly. I accepted that even though I didn't force the relationship with her anyway, but i really wish to fall in.
 
We were spendig so much time together so that allowed me to know everything what was happend in their relationship even i didn't want to know that because of my jelaousy.

There was a situation where her ex boyfriend called her and i saw how she got shocked by that as she started to cry ( so basically that was another big step down for my patience and fellings of joy and uplift, even blame was not on her, i felt like that because she claimed to me that she got over him ) then they have soon met another day, they wanted to talk to each other - of course - that wasn't good for me ! But she constatly claimed that everything is ok, and everything will be fine !

Getting in relationship with her wasn't easy for me, because I had to play her rules, wich obviously weren't good for me at that time. Anyway we got into relationship, and things started to change slowly ! even though i felt bad, i didn't want to end up but deeply care for her, beliving that as time goes on i will feel fine !

Now, few months later - I don't feel bad as i was then because she changed and she asked me to forgive her for acting like and i did because we talked about my feelings and emotions and everything what happened.

To make long story short -  She acts different now, she respects me, she cares for me and i care for her. She doesn't talk about her past relationship anymore, and she turned full into our relationship as it should be.
 
But i can't feel such joy as she can, and now I am not sure what is the reason ! I'm in constant worries what could it be, is it the past events or past events from my life ! Really don't know ! That's way im asking here for help 

Well there's alot here really and each of the issues that you have brought up need to be addressed to be certain that they aren't standing in your way. Some of them may be very small and collapse very quickly and easily and others may take some time and you may also find that they are tied to other issues that will surface and then of course there are also the aspects of each and everyone of these issues that may be few or many ... no way to really know until you get in there and get started.

I hear the tone of a rescuer and this may be part of or the entire issue you are facing now with the feelings of joy and uplift once felt and no longer feeling. You were once her savior, giving her comfort and now that she no longer needs that from you because she has disconnected from her previous relationship and is now ready for the next phase in her life, perhaps a relationship with you on a different level than you being the friend and savior, it no longer interests you as it once did??? That is something you will have to go inside and ask the question to know the answer to. Which, by the way, I would highly suggest you do. If it doesn't exist there then we have at least eliminated one of many possibilities :)

After asking this question, sit with all your feelings and non-feelings and ask your self which one of them is at the top of the list? Which one seems to be the most pressing and that would be the place to start. Once you get started the other thoughts, emotions, etc. will begin to surface and fall into place for you to examine and release.

Smiles, Kathleen