I started doing EFT in a group setting with a few friends, to use the idea of borrowing benefits. After discussing the concept of EFT with them, and showing them the basic recipe, I started demonstrating on myself for them. One guy "Joe" said that he would not feel comfortable sharing some of his issues in a group. What solutions are there for that? We could tap on a generic "Even though I have this issue...", but that always felt weak to me - less effective. I know that the details are usually not important, so he could make generic statements instead; instead of "Even though my mom yelled at me for dropping a plate..." he could say "Even though she yelled at me when I made that mistake..." Is that valuable? And do you have any other suggestions?

He does not have to state what the problem is if he is uncomfortable saying it. He can say Even though I have this...(makes hum,hum,hum sound) I deeply and completely etc.  He can say all of it out loud except the part that is private. It is probably more important to be specific and for him to think the specific event filling in the blank than to say it out loud. Another approach is that most people have some issues that are less sensitive and more readily shared and those are useful for group work as a starting point. More generalized statements work too but may not be as immediately effect. If he is thinking the specific event (dropping the plate) while he is saying "made that mistake" that would probably work too.

Hi Ricky,

Ok, I get and see your problem with this guy, yes, so he is willing to admit and say that he has an issue in saying his issue to the class, for starters, may you can get him to work with the issue of him not saying out his issue to the class, the fact is that he has said and acknowledge this one issue that you and class knows about. And it may be that he may need to work on this issue first and get it resolved if possible and then he may be able to say and share as others in the class been going.

Take Care,

Harry

Hi Ricky,

good for yo that you are offering Borrowing Benefit group sessions!

I teach a lot of workshops, and I usually find that group tapping doesn't work for everybody. There are many reasons for this, from "I am afraid I am going to loose it", to "I am uncomfortable, what I am going through is nobody's business!" And everything in between.

I just honor that.  Not everybody can work in a group, and when people  voice that, I just ask them if they are comfortable tapping along with the group on the issues they bring up. I often prepare the group by having them fill out a 10 point list on specific events that could bring their SUDS up, and ask them to read through and then forget about it during the tapping. This way they can subconsciously work on their issues wiithout tunig into them measure their results afterwards. This might work for your friend, if he is determined to work with you.

I  am not sure if you experienced this already, but group sessions can be quite demanding. Depending on who is in class, one can come across situations where one person's stuff triggers the others, and they build upon each other and all the trauma comes out at the same time. I had this situation once in a very dramatic way, where, without my knowledge, the majority of  the group was dealing with issues of a loved one either being killed by an accident, took their own lives or were on the edge of doing so, while their relatives were in my class.

When, on day two, one participant told me that her stepdaughter had tried to commit suicide the night before, and the person next to her shared that her son had killed a girl in a car accident that night, it triggered everybody.

We did some incredibly intense and powerful tapping, and were ablle to help everyboody profoundly. But things like  this happen. The same thing is usually true with assault and abuse. I have yet to give a class where there is not at leaset one molested woman present. This is very, very sensitive, and certainly not always appropriate to deal with in a grup setting. If she wants to do it anyway, that's OK, but it usually requires 1:1 attention. I have learned to just accept  what people want to do and trust that they will get the benefits they came to receive.

I point out these extremes, because there can be a missconception that borrowing benefits and group tapping is the best way to release large amounts of  trauma for everybody. When I work with my Veterans, I avoid deep trauma work in a group, and they do, too. It is simply not safe, and the facilitator needs to remain in control of what is going on, and have some helpers in class to support those who need more attention.

So I guess my recommendation would be to just honor your friend's feeling and tell him to tapp along with the group. If he wants to do some work on his issues, he might be comfortable doing a 1:1 with you. Seeing how much he trusts you to be there and tap, mmy guess is that you both will do some very  powerful healing in a way that works for both of you!

Hope this  helps.

Good Luck! Please keep us posted!

Ingrid

Thanks everyone.

I liked what Ingrid wrote about how her group sessions went.

Here is another approach for a group session, which worked well for me. I chose a theme, and then with a whiteboard, I asked the participants for their beliefs about the theme. I split the whiteboard into Pros and Cons, and everything went on one side or the other, except that some things had to go on both sides, and then I had to add a new column in the middle for things that were just things, neither positive nor negative. Then when everyone had contributed what they wished, I invented a few tapping scripts, and everyone tapped along together using my words. Then we stopped tapping and took deep breaths. People shared, if they cared to, what had transpired for them, some got clarity on what was bothering them, and some helped each other with practical solutions which was really appreciated. We had pauses where people could add their own tapping ideas for themselves, quietly.

it was really nice.

Except for one person, who still enjoyed the group, but her anger went up, instead of her anxiety going down! She kept tapping on her own about her thoughts and feelings, but I would have prefered the scripts to have taken her needs into account too.