Thank you, Gill! I've also discovered since then that the parts don't want to *have* their beliefs restructured by any type of energy. They want to see, meet and harmonize with any energy in their vicinity then come to an agreement, with the part leading, of what beliefs need to be restructured. For example, my parts that panic know that the panic itself puts a lot of strain on the system as a whole but often the help they need is to know what beliefs originally caused the panic response which is actually a strong defense. It usually takes more of an intuitive/energetic response to illuminate those original beliefs. An energy like EFT that may mean well still feels like it is doing *to* the part instead of *with.* The doing *to* can trigger panic (as was written in Michael Mayer's Energy Psychology book) because the doing *to* as young children by abusers is what caused the part to be formed in the first place. Love & Light: Kriss

Let me also say thank you because my windshield has also been shattered, as someone with severe DID.  Blessings for your insight.  K

Dear kristen: I am so sorry that you know what it feels like to live life behind, or inside, a shattered windshield. Whatever means you find that help you, I hope that seeing DID from an energetic perspective gives you insight to create a strong central self that can gently and progressively heal the other parts. Love & Light: Kriss

Kriss

I do understand this, but also I think in the case of RA where there was systemic torture this can be even more difficult.  Not all DID cases have this severe background and I haven't been able to do to an alter that doesn't want done to.  I soemtimes just don't get to do anything though!  But I still try to help the client understand the sophistication of the potection as many see this as a failure on the clients part but I see it as perhaps they just need more time or another way or another person.

Often I find allowing small 'parts' the chance to visualise their own preferred way of handling it can work, which can be very descriptive and doesn't involve tapping at all, its more of an allowing of expression and helps them to realise the only reason they didn't stop it was because they couldn't the now know if they could have they would have and maybe its just as well the didn't as it would have been messy:).  

I am learning to appreciate that anyone willing to work with this deserves us to work with them not against them, everyone is trying their best and even DID people do it all differently.

So again its about meeting the person where they are.  I do not see EFT as fixing or doing myself, more of allowing it to flow where it was stuck and done gently can be powerful.  But all in its own time.  One thing I am also becoming aware of is not letting an alter tell me the story of what happened to another age, each has the right to individually have their story heard or not, and if one does the talking about another and then gets punished for it that's not helpful for anyone.

If we can all work together with what we know and are learning we can put together something good for therapists as in most of the cases I am working with EFT is a useful part of the process and one that as a tool feels empowering for the adult part to use.  In fact one has alters who are willing to try it simply because their adult loves using it so much.   I have even had some tell me they are watching and will think about whether to use it or not but it did help their sibling so they might consider it.

I kind of offer what I can Kriss, and hope it helpsl  Its better than anything I have ever tried for myself with the right person.  With the wrong person it can be a disaster. 

I think at least being willing to learn about it, which is for me an education about myself as well, is something to be commended.

I often feel like I know I am going into the frontline.  I understand that clients need to test me out, are looking for cracks, are looking for stability and non-judgmental behaviour and they only way they can find out is to test me.  That's where I need courage:)  It also helps me feel kinder towards everyone who has tried to help me on the way, I get a sense of what I put them through as they failed my tests!

But now I learned that testing out is a waste of my time and money and the more I am healing the more I trust everyone is doing their best and if they don't have what I need its not their fault.  

I can't blame anyone for not understanding me and what I need, its taken me long enough to work that out for myself!

Hugs

Gill

 

 

 

Hi Gill: I totally agree--cases where RA and/or ritualistic torture was involved are much more difficult. I figured that out about myself that any care at all is very difficult because I not only literally was not cared for at all in childhood or adulthood but there were also many instances of RA when I was young. It is like being on the front lines, isn't it? I was also thinking that a main point of similarity in all my parts (I looks for points of similarity because if I can get a ripple of shared understanding between groups of parts I can also help them release the rings of energetic tension of various sorts, as a group) is that each had a reason to separate himself or herself from the others. Giving them a common reason to rejoin is also helpful. One reason I share on this forum is in the hope that together we as a greater community of energetic healers can come up with more options for people. I agree totally with you there. I think one area you are ahead of me is that you are able to give yourself, what you can offer. I am still pushing the edges though I'm getting closer. I also have a difficult time being tested. You mentioned needing courage for that. I am still running into a strong panic spot when I'm tested so that is an area of growth for me. I do feel kind toward people who have tried to help. It was more difficult to feel that way toward my most recent therapist because she left her own principles behind on several occasions. I guess when you get down to it though that just makes her more like me. I do admire her sincerity and courage. I hope I haven't sounded as if I blame anyone for not understanding me and what I need. It was more a matter of wanting the inner struggle to calm and the inner pain to heal. Seeing how others found ways to be cared for when I hadn't, etc. Thank you for your words of wisdom, Gill. Love & Light: Kriss

Kriss

You will have gotten a long rambly email from me trying to explain some of my thoughts to you.

I also made clear on that and will do so publicly that where I am is because what happened to me is nowhere near what happened to you and for me where you are now is absolutely astonishing!  

I love what you are sharing on the forum and certainly awareness for the issues and a whole raft of different approaches, viewpoints etc will help educate others who are looking for information.  If they don't get confused by it all:)

Gill

 Kriss

No I didnt think that, it was my own expression as I know for a long time I blamed people for not understanding me.  I especially blamed them for not understanding I need to understand myself!  Maybe this is my apologising to them:)

I felt once I left my principles behind because I believed another therapist telling me my way was wrong and tried it her way, which felt to me like grating the wrong way, and I was right I caused harm!  I did apologise but the trust was broken.  She is now working with someone else who I know will be perfect, maybe she will read this and know who she is, it was a terrible thing to do and I did it because I was vulnerable and a bit battered by circumstances at the time but despite that I would have been fine if I stuck to my principles!  

Gill

Hello, Gill: I look forward to reading your thoughts. :-) I also hope I didn't appear to be saying anything I experienced was 'worse' than anyone else's experience. I do try to grow a bit each day, and I appreciate your acknowledgment. I especially appreciate that you are a survivor as well and you have an idea of what kinds of things can go on. I appreciate being able to share on this forum. Love & Light: Kriss

Hi Gill: It helps me to know how I sound to others, which is why I asked. :-) So many wonderful healers are so strong in their own mindset that it can be easy to forget how many other ways there are to heal. I'm glad you know that sticking to your principles will help you. Love & Light: Kriss

Kriss - I have learnt so much from your postings and really appreciate that you take the time to share and help us to understand even just a little how this all is for you.  I just thought I'd post on something specific that you wrote about EFT to offer a possible different perspective on EFT in case it helps anyone.

slverkriss:

An energy like EFT that may mean well still feels like it is doing *to* the part instead of *with.*

This is something that took me a while to get my head around with EFT.  It took me some time to realise that I was allowing my "Fix It" part to take over with the EFT and that that isn't actually what it's about.  It was once I realised that the tapping is simply facilitation for our being able to be with what is hurting inside and what wants to be heard, that things really shifted for me.  All of a sudden I realised that tapping isn't about fixing (it only appeared that way because I allowed that part of me to run with it initially).  I can't even begin to describe how big a shift it was for me when the tapping shifted from being about change to being about allowing.  It was HUGE! :0) 

So I think when we talk about "an energy like EFT" we need to realise that EFT itself isn't really the energy - EFT is simply a matter of tuning into the issue and accessing more of how we feel about it by stimulating the meridian points.  I feel that the energy comes from our intention and our approach - how we approach the hurting parts of ourselves and how we approach the tapping.  Since changing my approach from one of 'change' or 'fixing' to one of 'allowing' and 'hearing' I've felt a complete change in the energy, but I've realised that the EFT is just the same - it's simply the method.  It's my energy that has changed - it's changed from a focus on change to a focus on allowing and hearing and that's really big. :0)

Just a few thoughts in case they are useful to anyone.

Very best wishes,

Jo

Hi Jo: My wording "an energy like EFT" comes from using many kinds of energetic healing/body balancing and learning the different flavors of each. In my experience EFT has a definite flavor. In all my experiences with energetic healing, I have allowed. That is why some energies, and again, to me, EFT feels, tastes and smells like an energy, feel intrusive to me. Just as Reiki isn't an energy itself but a connection to the Universal energy of ALl That Is, I see EFT as a similar connection. Intention is certainly important but I've had experience with people with wonderful intention using types of energy that just don't feel right to me. The point you made regarding your energy that has changed--yes, that is my point also. My energy needs to be what I need it to be, not what any kind of other energetic presence/intention needs it to be. For me that means choosing carefully what energetic presences, human, Universal or otherwise, I allow. Love & Light: Kriss

slverkriss:

My energy needs to be what I need it to be, not what any kind of other energetic presence/intention needs it to be.

Kriss - isn't it wonderful how we can all take what we want from different methods and simply sit with what works for us.  What you wrote above speaks beautifully for how I feel about what EFT has given me, but it's clear that your experience of EFT is different and it does something different for you.  Aren't we fortunate that there are so many different kinds of energetic healing in the world these days - the most amazing smorgasborg from which we can choose the "dishes" we like. :0)

Very best wishes,

Jo

I totally agree, Jo! That's one of the wonderful things about the age we're living in and the many types of healing available to us all. Love & Light: Kriss

i think one of the most beautiful energy healing solutions in the world has to be this forum.

Gill,

Sticking to one's principles isn't the only solution, as you know, sometimes we can get a lot of information and ideas from others. Listening to our inner guidance is an energy that is helpful - look at all the EFT success we know of, it's miracle happens when we tune in to inner guidance. And yet, listening to outer guidance - for example, ideas from other people, the mess in the house when I spend too long on this forum!, the relationships, the money - is also a form of energy. So I don't blame you, Gill, for once listening to a fellow practitioner instead of your own inner guidance - it's OK, it's normal, and perhaps you thought that the energy of outer guidance was appropriate at the time.

A lot of us have been turned off outer guidance because it's associated with the many "professionals"; to claim that they are better or that their services are more valuable, more powerful, more needed etc, which seems rather immoral, and just an easy way to make money. School itself, I've heard it said, is a good part just a way to keep the kids off the street and out of the business market where they might outshine the adults. (my kids still go to school though!) University, college - do you know how much these courses cost? Why? It smacks of a pyramid scheme to me.

So that's perhaps why many of us are unclear when it comes to outer guidance, whether we can trust it at all. But I don't think we should discard the whole idea of gaining from outer guidance, because sometimes it represents something we couldn't have found out on our own. Another reason why this forum is so valuable. And sometimes, I agree, we make mistakes, and follow inner guidance when we shouldn't (eg we go with the flow for too long), and other times, we follow outer guidance when we shouldn't (eg like at the smorg Jo mentioned, if we were to eat too much, or eat fruit with the peel on, or together with the bowl it's presented in! Or in real life, if we have been given an idea, we don't check to see which parts of it are for using, and which parts not yet, or we could consider how and when it could be applied).

Excuse me, I could go on all day - it's so nice to have an interested audience - but I have to go take in some outer guidance! But I just wanted to add, Gill, how much I appreciate all your postings and the beautiful heartfelt respect for inner guidance, and caring expressed therein.

Love

Rachel