Well, my daughter and son in law were up this weekend with my eight month old grandchild.  What a treat!  The only damper was the constant knee pain I experienced,along with a swollen foot.  Three ibuprofen at night, and in the AM, along with a huge amount of tapping, seem to put it at  a place where I could bear it.  A fall down the steps in 1983, with the baby in my arms seem to start this problem,and I've tapped on every scenario I can think of.  The pain dissolves temporarily. About a year prior to this I was in the hospital with a nervous break down, thinking that God had deserted me, and not understanding why, because I had been such a good Christian. It appears that there wasn't a clear understanding there, because when we are at our worst, we have a warped way of viewing things. Maybe it wasn't the fall, it may have been the fact that I was having problems, resenting being pregnant, and then a nervous breakdown. When does it stop?  I mean, it seems the more tapping one does, the more issues that come up.  It makes you tired. The pain starts from the hip, goes to the knee, then the foot. Sometimes only the hip hurts, another time the knee, then yet another time the foot.  How can one tap on the emotional issues when one spends so much time on the present pain? Then you haft to dig up all the junk. It's tiring, don't you think? Still, what else is there?  Pills?  Who am I kidding, I know the answers.  It's just all so tiring. Even so, when I  look into my body and feel the absence of the terrible fear,  panic attacks, and the constant obsessive thoughts coming at me, I haft to go on. Not to mention the OTHER issues.  EFT is a gift, and also a curse.  It makes me face things.  :)  Arum

Arum,

Yes, the work can be tiring sometimes... especially if you're not ready for it, or trying to "go it alone".   In my experience, I have yet to find an EFT situation where the "fear" of looking within was not ultimately found to be unnecessarily based on a judgmentalism toward that which might be uncovered (which is not to diminish the honesty of the feeling itself --  but rather the judgmentalism we place upon that which we may be feeling -- or fearing.)   For example, "What would it mean if xxxx were true?"... "Who would I be if xxxx were (or were not) true?"

I find that the deeper work (in order to be deeply successful) requires we develop a faith that far beneath our "disfunctional" self, there is something quite good, loving and innocent (remember the term, "inner child"?)  ...something that is frightened, and believes itself to have harmed, or to have been harmed.   ("Even though I am hateful/guilty/frightened right now, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.")  When we approach EFT this way, the loving part of ourselves is somehow able to re-emerge into our awareness.   

For some people, doing this work alone can be unnecessarily difficult, and I've mentioned to you before the importance of maintaining psychological support while doing this work.  A therapist working with you can provide that strong grounding base for exploratory work which might otherwise be too threatening to manage on your own (as well as the skill to make it as painless as possible).  I can't reiterate enough Gary Craig's warning that individuals not attempt more than they are confident that they can safely handle.  

 You've been experiencing a lot of benefits on your own, (which is wonderful!) and your question is absolutely spot on... "What else is there?"  Each person must take responsibility for answering that question himself.  Some people refuse medication entirely; some decide upon medication combined with therapy; and some refuse therapy altogether and just opt for the medication.   Judgmentalism associated with any one of those options is simply not helpful for our own healing.

You are familiar with "Chasing the Pain" right?  Consider that your pain is "moving" because the thought(s) behind it "fear" being uncovered.  They are quite literally evading your awareness and trying to "run and hide" somewhere else in your body.    If you do resolve to keep pursuing that little "pain-body" on your own -- I suggest that when you finally corner it...and it finally turns around to face you ----- resolve to OPEN YOUR ARMS and EMBRACE IT with all the love, compassion and understanding you are capable of.   Make a promise to yourself that you will not attack it; and that you will not judge it.

   *** Even though I'm really afraid to face what might be beneath this obsessive thought about _____; I DEEPLY and completely accept and choose to forgive myself anyway.  

   *** I choose now to have faith in myself; that at the core of my being is a loving, right-minded spirit ("soul", "self", "higher-self", "child" or whatever resonates for you.)

   *** Even though I'm not sure I can believe that this statement is true, I choose now to have faith that at the core of my being, there is a wonderful, loving, giving and forgiving person.

  *** I promise not to attack and judge myself for whatever comes to my awareness.

Good luck, and Blessings,

Arum - you're right, sometimes it is soooo tiring.  Sometimes we get to a place on our healing journey where we REALLY wonder whether it's all worth it.  It sucks, it feels rotten, it's a horrible place to be.  And even though it feels like we might never get past it, somehow we do.  I find when I hit a plateau the best thing is to do some tapping really expressing how I'm feeling, walking around saying loudly "Even though this sucks and I'm tired of having all these damn never ending issues, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway" etc.  I find that venting while tapping can be really helpful.

Just a thought on the knee thing which may be way off base, but noticed it as a possibility and maybe there will be something useful for you.  Do you think that there could be any guilt or lack of self forgiveness for falling with the baby in your arms in 1983?  Sometimes we find that pain comes from guilt and hanging onto something deep inside us.  Even if it doesn't seem likely, it could be worth doing some tapping for yourself at the age you were then when it happened and see if any emotion comes up.  Often very painful conditions have an element of guilt which we aren't consciously aware of until we start examining them, and tapping to clear it and move to self forgiveness can be powerful.  This might not be at all relevant in your case, just thought I'd offer it in case it jogs something for you.

Hang in there Arum.  Get some support if you can and tap on how tiring it is for you right now and nurture yourself. 

Very best wishes,

Jo

Leigha,and Jo, thanks for the comments.  Leigha, you are a deep thinker. Those affirmations, do you use  one affirmation on all meridian points?  Start on the KC, and then just do the same one on all the others?   Also, I've heard the expression "chasing the pain", but haven't looked into it to much.  It is true that I've noticed that sometimes while tapping on one area, the pain will go to another. My inner child is a nice person I think, if that makes any sense.  However, sometimes my mind doesn't work the way it should, I've noticed that things don't "click" in my mind the way it does others.  It may be some type of learning disability, or due to trauma, just not sure,

Jo,yes, that EFT freeforall, or so I call it, is a good idea. It would be good to use it on this feeling I have when I'm by myself.  Can't stand to be by myself.  It would be nice if I could enjoy it, maybe read a book, do some cleaning and enjoy alone time.  Anyway as far as the knee thing is concerned, I DID tap on the guilt of falling down the steps with the baby, and everything I could think of connected to it.  It just dosn't seem to help.  Even though my  issues need work, still my progress is good. A wonderful person has steped up to the plate to help me.  Her name is Gillian Wightman.  We've only talked a couple of times on the phone, but shes the type of person that makes one believe their is hope for mankind.  In my heart, I think God sent her. Even though my issues are ugly, she is patient, loving, and non judgemental.  Just when I was good and stuck, she showed up.  Even if I'm not fixed completely, I'm confident that my life will be different because of her.  Thank you for always putting yourself out to help me, you both are great people, its obvious.:)  Arum

You're very welcome Arum!  In your situation, I would probably recommend trying several complete rounds of each phrase individually.  When there's a lot of resistance, I also do focused work on the actual self-acceptance part of the set-up phrase -- in relation to the larger world around you, "the universe", "God", or however you language your higher power.  These are just some examples-- if they resonate for you, use them, if not just ignore them:

  ***  "Even though I've never felt like I was accepted into the world, I am willing to deeply and completely accept myself wholeheartedly now".  A few rounds of just this phrase at each point.   Then after another setup phrase (you don't ever want to skip the setup phrase) at the various tapping points, you can say "I've never been accepted into the world"... "I've never been accepted into the world"... etc. etc. etc.    Then allow that thought to morph, but stay along those same lines.   Such as, "The world never loved me..."  "My father never loved me".... "Somebody (god, spirit, whoever) was punishing me my sending me into this family".    Of course, those are just some examples, but very common.  

 You have to really try to feel what you're saying, and if you're having difficulty with fear, go ahead and interject, "Even though I'm really feeling afraid and anxious with these thoughts... I am willing to accept myself anyway."

 You'll know when you've worked through it and have been willing to uncover each "unattractive" thought. 

Thanks Leigha, I'll try these new affirmations tomorrow AM.  :)  Arum

 Arum

I just spotted that you have been posting on here. I am glad you found the work we did helpful.  I would suggest that where we finished could be the issues behind your knees and that would make sense of why it is trying to run away. 

All the comments are very helpful and I hope you can use them.  You have a well of issues and I think in truth all help from wherever it comes from right now will be helpful.I would suggest as you tap you may add softening statements like I accept myself without judgement.  

Yes, I too get sick of what seems never ending problems. I find it tiring when I find once again I have reacted to something because of my past when I like to think I have looked at it all and there are no more bogey men in there!   But what I do is look to see where I have come from and that does give me courage to tackle the road ahead.  Just remember where you were a year ago when you wonder if this is worth it!

Gill