Just to give you some background on how I stumbled on to EFT.  I was driving drunk with my wife in the car and crashed into a palm tree.  I was just down the street from my house.  I got out of the car and checked on my wife, who said she was unable to get out of the car.  I didn't believe she was really injured. (I was perfectly fine, why wouldn't she be.)  As rediculous as this thought was, this is what I was thinking at the time.  Knowing that I was drunk, and trying to avoind going to jail, I had the astounding logic to run for my house, leaving my wife behind.  I ran for the house, and got about ten feet from my front door when I was tackled to the ground, by some concerned citizens, and then placed in hadcuffs by an off duty security guard.  I blacked out for a while and when I came to I was back at the accident scene.  My wife had been taken to the hospital in an ambulance.  I was arrested and taken to jail.  Following the accident I was having some back pain, not severe, but enough to bother me.  Knowing that going to the doctor, would just result in a prescription for pain meds, I made an appointment with Accupuntcture/Chiropractor.  I had three visits with him, to he used accupuncture, and one a cupping technique.  Needless to say this did litlle to improve the pain in my back.  My brother told me about Neurolink, so I decided to give that a try, and their website directed me to a doctor in my area, Las Vegas Nevada.  I scheduled an appointment with Dr. Robirds, and had to wait two months to see him.  When filling out the paperwork, and listing things that were ailing me, I cited depression, lack of self confidence, and numerous other things along those lines, in addition to the back pain.  After my session with Dr. Robirds, my back was completely pain free.  In addition, mentaly and emotionally I felt like I had never before, fantastic.  Dr. Robirds informed that it wasn't Neurolink that he had used but EFT.  He gave me the web address to the EFT website, but I never got around to checking it out.  Meanwhile my wife was suffering from extreme pain in her back, legs, hands.  I shceduled her an appointment with Dr. Robirds, but this again took two months to get in.  The day of her appointment, I was out of town on business, and she missed her appointment.  Fast forward a year or so, and my wife was still suffering from chronic pain.  She had been diagnosed by three different doctors with Fybromyalgia, and prescribed  hydrocodone, muscle relaxer, xanex, and anti depressant medication.  Of course these drugs did little to help her.  I finally got off my but and made another appointment with Dr. Robirds but made sure this time that she made it to her appoinment.  Unfortunately, she was one of the 3% of the people who expeienced extreme emotional distress from the treatment.  The emotion was such that both her and the doctor were engulfed in tears.  He scheduled her a follow up appointment for one week later, but she was scared to go back, for fear she would experience more of the same emotional trauma. Dr. Robirds again gave me the address of the EFT website, but this time a got on and checked it out. This was back in March of this year.  I started practicing EFT on myself to work on depression, and self confidence issues, and felt some progress, but didn't stick with it.  A couple of weeks ago, as I approached my 33 birthday, I started experiencing depression and anxiety in a pretty sever way, and decided to go back to EFT.  I have developed a routing that consists of a very early morning bike ride, ending at a very beautiful but unused park.  There I started working on just some general depression, addiction, self motivation, etc...., and was feeling good.  Then I decided to work on some general anger issues directed towards my mother, and felt an enormous relief.  During this time I have been continued to study the free EFT manual, and decided to try and work on specific memories, that I believe were issues for me.  This is where the trouble began.  After working on some grief issues with the death of my father, I was struck by an intense anxiety attack.  Although I normally feel a decent amount of anxiety this was very intense.  I went back to tapping with the grief issue over my fathers death, and the anxiety subsided, but did not go away completely.  In addition to this I had started compiling a list of all of the things that I could think of that carried an emotional burden.  One of these was the guilt over having left my wife behind so that I could save my own butt, in the car accident.  To my surprise the back pain that I had been rid over for over a year and half suddenly came right back.  I did some more tapping for guilt, and some just for back pain, which did bring relief, but very temporary.  In addition I can now see how my actions were the direct cause of my wifes pain.  Although she has seen my success with EFT, she is still afraid of bringing back the intense emotional pain brought on during  her first treatment.  Any suggestions or comments on a possible direction from here would be greatly appreciated.

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Dear Crocket,

Welcome to our forum. Thank you for your honesty.

In looking at the incident that you described in which you were drunk and you left your wife in the car, you want to get to all of the emotions and negative thoughts that are related. One method that I find powerful is something that I call “tap and ***”. So, you would focus on the intensity of the guilt that you feel, and do your set-up phrases… Then after doing a couple of rounds of tapping with a reminder phrase that might make you laugh while you are tapping on each of the body points(which helps move the energy). Then comes the tapping and bitching—this is where you are going to get everything out that is going on in your mind about the issue. For example, you could say something like: My wife’s pain is all my fault (tap inside eyebrow); I wish I wouldn’t have been drinking and driving (tap outside the eye); It sure was stupid of me to run from the car.

The whole idea is to get everything out while you say a phrase and tap on a different point. If this doesn’t work, you might want to look and see if there is previous experience in your life in which you feel great guilt, and clear that.

Please let me know if this helps.

Gratefully yours,

JoAnn

JoAnn,

Dear Crocket,

I really feel for you and your wife.

I think that you hit the nail on the head on several issues. Her anger and other negative emotions may be adding to her fibromyalgia.There are ways for a practitioner to sneak up on the issue--to help the client get to there slowly so they don't get triggered. (This could be done via phone.)

Crocket, I think that you are too close to your wife for you to actually work with her on this issue. However, you can work on all of your own emotions that you have about your guilt, etc. Surrogate tapping may be helpful, too. I don't believe that it could bring on further pain. Consider doing it away from her. 

I can see that your wife had a traumatic EFT session, and it would be helpful if a practitioner could help release the trauma of that session, the trauma of the accident, the emotions she is feeling (anger, resentment, betrayal), and her physical pain. I believe that if she is willing to release the anger and rage that she has--that it can make a difference for both her and you. I believe that there has to be a willingness on her part though. If she is unwilling, then you can work on yourself and also do surrogate tapping for her.

Your wife is afraid. An experienced EFT practitioner can help her work through what is there for her. I believe that the emotional pain that she could potentially release could have a great impact on the physical pain that she may carry for the rest of her life (and her relationship with you)--if she doesn't clear this issue.

Gratefully yours,

JoAnn