Thank you Gill.  Four months ago I couldn't see a way through - but I stuck at it, and in particular used affirmations to change my headset about the relationship, catching myself every time time I thought negatively about it and tapping away the doubts and unhelpful negative beliefs (e.g. "He will never change" or "we are still miles apart") whenever they rose.  It is wonderful to feel empowered rather than a victim of circumstance.

And thank you for sending me the Ilkley link. It looks wonderful - as well as affordable - and I will very probably go.

Thank you, Chip. 

Thinking about such things in terms of the Law of Attraction is very revealing, isn't it. An important shift in my behaviour involved noticing where I was still thinking negatively about my husband or our relationship (for example doubting our ability to achieve intimacy or his ability to heal) and tapping the negative out and the positive in.  He responded very quickly to every change of attitude that I adopted. It has been quite extraordinary to experience such a rapid turn-around first hand. Realising that his illness was created and sustained in the energetic dynamic of the relationship - once I had tapped for the feelings that brought up! - was a terrifically useful insight.

Ros:

And thank you for sending me the Ilkley link. It looks wonderful - as well as affordable - and I will very probably go.

Ros

If you check the site now the programme is up and you will see there is a presentation on using EFT for mediation when only one person will tap.  Sounds like what you have done.  There is an open mike section for people to share their success stories.  Maybe you could share yours:)

See you there!

Gill

 I read with lots of interest your letter since I'm getting to know and practice EFT for a similar problem as yours. Anger and the need to lower its power or to lear to manage it. So as I just said I'm learning this procedure, I have a few questions and I do not know if you would kindly help answer them:

1. How often or how many times a day do you do the tapping routine?

2. Are you suppose to address for every tapping routine a particular issue?

3. Can you just say anger in general in the initial statement?

4. How long before you start experiencing the results?

5. Can you achieve a desirable change by only reading the manual or you need to get some of the dvd's?

Hope I'm not asking for too much by asking to answer to my email: lucero.aguilar@gmail.com

You story is very inspiring, hope I get same results,

Best regards,

Lucero

Dear ScientistGeorge and other EFT'ians,

I am quite blown away by Ros' situation. She is lucky that her husband stuck around her inspite of all the issues.Unfortunately, I have somewhat similar issues but my husband has neither forgiven and also has applied for divorce. I believe in my heart of hearts that we can make the marriage work. And whatever I am trying to do to make it work is completely from my side, like many have commented here. Ros' case has given a new hope to me. When I saw your words for tapping I liked them. I am new to EFT in a way & see it as my last hope. I am working on various emotional & physical issues this situation has brought about

My questions are:

1. Do we use your tapping words only on the KC point?

2. What words are to be used while tapping on the rest of the points?

3. I also would like to have some guidance on how to go about surrogate tapping.

4. I have blurred vision due to the stress caused by the situation and on top of it, I have uterine fibroids which fortunately are not causing any problem to me. I didn't even know they were there till they were discovered during a off-hand check-up and one of them is nearly 10cm big. Even now I don't have any indication of their presence.

5. There was a miscarriage as well which in itself was a very painful experience for me. I just love kids. I am unable to let go of my baby's memory. Too emotional. 

6. How to do tapping to forgive myself & others? I know that I need to forgive all those who have hurt me immensely. But sometimes I can, sometimes I I just cannot. It tears me apart to forgive them for all the injustice they have done to me.

I am grateful for your guidance and support.

Thanks for listening.

God bless u.

 Hi Prathi and others,

There is a good description of surrogate tapping at <http://www3.telus.net/emofree/articles.html#surrogate_tapping_top>

Also, try taking each of your issues and dropping them in this phrase:

Even though____________________________________ I accept myself anyway, using the sore point or karate chop point or even doing a round or two of EFT while stating the phrase over and over again.

eg. Even though__I have blurred vision due to stress__ I accept myself anyway.

Prathi

In the basic EFT the set up is as Mildred described on the KC point and then on the rest of the points you use the words inserted,

Here is a quickie guide that might be helpful

http://www.emotional-health.co.uk/abc.htm

I can assure you that you can let go of all these feelings.  The trick is asking yourself why you can't and then tapping on that

Be clear about what you want to acheive, be honest about why you can't and then tap on those feelings.  Also be aware of where the belief comes from, when or what did you decided that something was unforgiveable.

We cannot tap for anyone else until we are clear and neutral.  there is a mass of info on the emofree site of successful and creative ways to let go of these emotions.  Just search on the words, miscarriage, forgiveness, anger etc on the search engine of the main forum.

Also search and research these forums, there are many threads with interesting discussion such as this that will give you some ideas and inspiration.  On the emofree site you get the success stories, this place is much more about what to do when it doesn't seem to be working or your stuck.

The art of EFT is tuning into the correct thought or related memory and sometimes that is easier to do with a practitioner.

I have been in a similar position and continually have improved difficult relationships with EFT and my clients have had numerous experiences of resolving anger and grief.

In my own case i find it is most successful to tap for my responsibility.  A rule I have is that if a person asks for therapy on behalf of someone else, that  person is part of the problem.  If we as therapists desire our clients to be 'fixed' they pick up on it.  When we let go of our need to change someone and can accept them with love the changes happen.

I could not get my children or husband to tap, they believed I wanted to fix them and it meant there was something wrong.  I tapped on my own feelings, my frustration, my anger, most importantly my guilt at how I had contributed to the problems, and now they are easily and happily resolving and releasing their stuff, in fact they are asking for it and I have to find the time now:)

 Gill

Dear Mildred, Gill,

Many thanks for your guidance and the links. I appreciate your comments. I want to tap on my own feelings & emotions; my own anger, frustration, sense of being betrayed, negative thinking, etc and at the same time, do some surrogate tapping as well; basically I want to adopt a two pronged approach.

Am sure that your guidance is invaluable to me at this juncture.

Many thanks once again.

God bless u.