Hello, everyone! What a great forum! I'm fairly new to EFT, and want to give just a brief background on where I'm coming from before I ask my question.

I haven't actually used it much on myself (no physical problems, knock on wood, though emotionally I could really use some work clearing negative thought patterns, and am slowly making my way in that direction); I'm very excited about it, though, and am watching the videos (I love them!) to gain a deeper understanding of the process and big picture.

 At this point, I have showed/demonstrated it to probably about forty people (I've lost count), and gotten really good results every single time; I gave them my "Readers' Digest" version of an explanation, and directed them to the website and free manual; I even did some work over the phone with a friend, and we made the chronic pain in his knees go away with only a few rounds of tapping.

 I can not get over how wonderful this stuff is - I keep scraping my jaw off the floor every time, and wondering when I'm going to wake up... Now here is the situation I'm writing about: My neighbor is in his seventies, and has pretty advanced Parkinson's.

He has trouble hearing, a great deal of trouble speaking (can hardly talk above a whisper, and is very hard to understand.)

 He can't stand or walk on his own, has tremors in both hands, dementia (delusions and confusion alternating with perfect clarity and even a sense of humor) and basically needs care 24/7 with activities of daily living, all of which are provided by his family.

Obviously, I would love to be able to help him (in my fantasy world, we get rid of the PD altogether, but even some relief from his symptoms would be great) and spoke with his wife about it.

 She's actually very open to me doing some work with him (she said that at this point she'll "try ANYthing"), and I've gone over there a couple of times and given it my best shots. Honestly, it was hard to know where to begin.

The first time I went in blind, focused on getting him to speak better; he actually got quite talkative, and, according to his wife, it seemed like there was a tiny improvement. I went home and did some homework: got on the EFT website and read everything I could find about PD, wrote down some ideas.

 Then I watched Gary's videos (skipped ahead, just this once, please, to watch the work he does with Dave, the guy with PD). Went back a second time and tried some other approaches

. This time I asked my neighbor's permission to speak on his behalf (since he obviously can't) - I thought it might make a difference, establish a connection, perhaps? He was lucid and seemed to understand, and agreed.

 His wife told me that he likes it when I come over (I've been over there before, gave him some massages to help with stiff muscles), so we have some rapport going already, which is good, I suppose. I got information from his wife about things which I thought might be useful (what my neighbor knew about the doctor's diagnosis, anything my neighbor may have said to indicate his feelings about what was happening to him, any major life traumas, family relationships, etc.)

 I did the tapping directly on him, and spoke words which I thought might be relevant. Sadly, we didn't see any observable effects this time, though I haven't since followed up to see if anything was different the next day or so. Although his wife is perfectly willing to let me work with him, I have to admit that I feel a little inhibited saying things out loud and emphatically on his behalf and in front of someone else. (I don't have this problem working one-on-one with people, because it's a completely different dynamic.) I am wondering if this might be hampering things?

 Something occurred to me the other day: could I tap on myself, on his behalf, in my own home, where I can speak as freely as I want? Is it important/ethical to get his/wife's permission first? If so, that would be a little difficult to explain - energy work is one thing, but the whole "remote" thing might be a bit tough for them to swallow

. Or, since I've gotten both their blessings to do the work while I'm there, is it ethical for me to just have at it on his behalf while I'm at home, without announcing it to them? I'm just not sure how to proceed from here. I hate to keep going over there and giving them hope, and ending up with no visible change. I know I'm still very wet behind the ears EFT-wise, and this is much better-suited to someone more advanced, but that's not really an option for my neighbors. Besides, I really care about them, and believe in my heart that I might be able to help, perhaps with some guidance from all you wonderful and generous people.

Thank you all for your time and your willingness to share your love and insights. Eva

eva:

 Although his wife is perfectly willing to let me work with him, I have to admit that I feel a little inhibited saying things out loud and emphatically on his behalf and in front of someone else. (I don't have this problem working one-on-one with people, because it's a completely different dynamic.) I am wondering if this might be hampering things?

 

Hello Eva,

Your passion and enthusiasm for EFT shine through !

Techny stuff but I hope you don't mind I broke your posting down into smaller bites which I hope assists you receive some replies.

Through experience, yes it is definitely a problem/inhibiting factor and as you quite rightly say ,the dynamics are not there!

Also does his wife use EFT or could you teach her if not?

OK..we have a start,

Warmest wishes,

Marie

Hello, Marie -

thank you for writing back, and thank you SO much for breaking up my post into smaller bites.  I'd actually submitted it originally that way, but for some reason it ended up on the website in one big hard-to-read block; is there something else I need to do at the time of submission, to make sure it appears the way I want it?

I can certainly ask his wife if she'd be willing to do it, and if so, I'll be more than happy to teach her (she obviously knows him better than anyone, and knows all the nuances and little secrets of his heart); I did a quick demo with her, and we got rid of some chronic heel pain for her, so she's definitely had a first-hand experience with it.  

Just in case, for whatever reason, she's not up for doing it herself, I go back to my original "remote tapping" question...

Thank you,

Eva 

  Something occurred to me the other day: could I tap on myself, on his behalf, in my own home, where I can speak as freely as I want? Is it important/ethical to get his/wife's permission first? If so, that would be a little difficult to explain - energy work is one thing, but the whole "remote" thing might be a bit tough for them to swallow

Gary Craig says that  since we never ask for people permission to send them evil thoughts, he doesn't understand the need to ask permission to send good.  I always see surrogate EFT as a type of very specific prayer.  Most people feel comfortable praying for others whether they have permission or not.  If you really feel the need for permission, then go ahead but Gary would say - and I agree with him- that this is unnecessary. What will you do if the wife says" No, that's beyond my comfort level?" 

Hi Eva,

Thanks for getting back to us.

I have no idea what must have happened to your posting but please don't worry, its not a problem for us and don't let it stop you posting!

I totally agree about ' permission' with Mildred but there are definitely others with the exact opposite view on remote tapping.

Warmest wishes,

Marie.

I guess I'm a permission guy.

My belief is that people choose their experieinces to create growth along a spiritual path. What we think helps them may, in fact, be retarding their purpose in going through the experience. I won't meddle without permission.

However, if the gentleman agrees, then I would work with him onsome aspect of his fear in relation to having an intense need to control all aspects of his life.  If you are going to work with EFT and the body, you have to get Louise Hay's Heal You Body.

Thank you, everyone, for writing, and for your perspectives. I went back and forth in my own mind as to what to do, and finally came down on the side of asking for permission; every time I imagined myself tapping on his behalf, there was a tiny nagging feeling, so I just went ahead and asked the gentleman's wife if it would be okay.  I actually asked her if she'd be interested in doing it herself, but she really wasn't because, as she put it, she's got enough going on and it's just not something she could see herself doing (at least she's honest.) 

I was pleasantly surprised that she didn't even blink at the idea of my doing surrogate tapping; she said, in effect, that she knows I would never do anything do hurt him, and that I'm welcome to speak on his behalf and do whatever work I wanted to.  So...it's not direct permission per se, but under these circumstances, in which communicating something like this to him would really be tough, this permission by proxy feels valid enough for me.  Also, because I already know that he likes it when I work with him (and he did actually give me permission to do that), this is merely a little abstraction, and it's been blessed by his wife. 

Funnily enough, I was thinking just last night about the Heal Your Body book, and wondering if I still had a copy of it on my bookshelf - and yes, I do!

The good thing about asking for permission is that when he improves you get some recognition.

Mildred 

Hi Eva!

"Obviously, I would love to be able to help him (in my fantasy world, we get rid of the PD altogether, but even some relief from his symptoms would be great) and spoke with his wife about it."

I found a wonderful resource on Parkinson's Disease at www.pdrecovery.com Janice Walton-Hadlock offers a free down-loadable book on her research and success at curing PD, based on acupuncture. Her theory is based strickly on damage to and malfunction of Meridians, and specifically to the Stomach Meridian from an injury (old) to a foot, usually from childhood.

In the book she gives detailed information about what actually happens over time when the Stomach Meridian energy is blocked which causes back-ups etc. to other meridians which create more and more symptoms & specific patterns involved in all her Parkinson's patients.

For serious EFT er's , it is a great background explaination of our energy system with specific details to a specific disease and gave me a new understanding as to why EFT works so well. Plus, you have to wonder, do all diseases have specific patterns?

From a practical side, there is no reason why, instead of needles, you cannot apply EFT to each point and in general for correct flow, plus the emotions involved for symptoms all of which are given in detail.

If you have any question, please don't hesitate to ask.

Sylvia

Sylvia S Ross EFT-ADV

Co-Moderator - Carer/Caregiving Forum

Hi!

Here is the correction to Parkinson's Recovery www.pdrecovery.org connection.

Thanks Fabienne for letting me know!

Sylvia

When I punch in pdrecovery.com it takes me to Dollar Finance site. What's up with that? Brad

OK now I know. Went down alittle farther and found the right place, Brad